You’re Not Listening cover art

You’re Not Listening

What You’re Missing and Why It Matters

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You’re Not Listening

By: Kate Murphy
Narrated by: Kate Murphy
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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you?

This life-changing book will transform your conversations forever

As a society, we’ve forgotten how to listen. Modern life is noisy and frenetic, and technology provides constant distraction. So we tune things out or listen selectively – even to those we love most. We’ve become scared of other people’s points of view, and of silence.

Now more than ever, we need to listen to those around us. New York Times contributor Kate Murphy draws on countless conversations she has had with everyone from priests to CIA interrogators, focus group moderators to bartenders, her great-great aunt to her friend's toddler, to show how only by listening well can we truly connect with others.

Listening is about curiosity and patience – about asking the right questions in the right way. Improvisational comedians and con men are much better at it than most of us. And the cleverest people can be the worst at it. Listening has the potential to transform our relationships and our working lives, improve our self-knowledge, and increase our creativity and happiness. While it may take some effort, it's a skill that can be learnt and perfected.

When all we crave is to understand and be understood, You're Not Listening shows us how.

©2020 Kate Murphy (P)2020 Penguin Audio Communication & Social Skills Personal Development Physical Illness & Disease Social Sciences Words, Language & Grammar

Critic Reviews

The premise of this book couldn't be more timely... inspiringly profound… Smart and playful... It feels like a reiteration of something essential... Murphy is here to remind us – entertainingly and compellingly – exactly why it matters so much, especially right now. Hear, hear. (Viv Groskop)
Gripping from start to finish... brilliant…extraordinarily interesting…full of meat and gold. (Chris Evans)
Fiercely topical... You're Not Listening is an intriguing and constructive take on the problem... and a manual for better communication. Murphy’s book is intelligent and thought-provoking… Listening is when someone take a real interest in who you are…a moment of attunement and understanding that sticks in both heads. We could all do with some of that. (Melanie Reid)

What listeners say about You’re Not Listening

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Profile Image for Angus Reoch

good science bad examples

Decent book but dont rely on CIA agents or Ronald Reagan as good role models.

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Profile Image for Michael

Exceptionally written and narrated

Engaging, informative and eye opening are just a few of the the descriptors I could use when talking about this book.

This is now one of my favourite self help books, up there with Atomic Habbits and the Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

I will be checking out more work from Kate Murphy.

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Profile Image for James E

Opened my eyes (and ears)

This well read audio book kept me engaged and has given me a handful of easy to apply tips that I am using to help build stronger relationships

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Profile Image for Blaire

Insightful

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and the valuable lessons it taught me.
Yes, many things were common sense HOWEVER I needed to hear them from this book with simple justifications and examples. I would listen again in a heartbeat.
As an Aussie, I found the narrator a bit dry but settled into her voice after a chapter or two.

I have purchased the hard copy book of this too.

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Profile Image for keegan

certainly informative, engaging with humour

loved it, many things I was unaware but I am thankful that I can understand now and grow my skill to listen to others. it has helped changed my views and thoughts towards others and allowed for more meaningful relationships. thank you Kate for putting together this wonderful book.

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Profile Image for Anonymous User

Insightful

A wide ranging book on the topic of listening, with many evidence-based research examples. Great tips on being a better listener, and consequently a better spouse, parent, friend and co-worker.

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Profile Image for Anonymous User

awful narrator she's offputting

sux has been in a relationship 60k since its A while just over a year old and

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