Try free for 30 days

  • You’re Not Listening

  • What You’re Missing and Why It Matters
  • By: Kate Murphy
  • Narrated by: Kate Murphy
  • Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
  • 4.4 out of 5 stars (90 ratings)

1 credit a month to use on any title, yours to keep (you’ll use your first credit on this title).
Stream or download thousands of included titles.
Access to exclusive deals and discounts.
$16.45 a month after 30 day trial. Cancel anytime.
You’re Not Listening cover art

You’re Not Listening

By: Kate Murphy
Narrated by: Kate Murphy
Try for $0.00

$16.45 per month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for $21.99

Buy Now for $21.99

Pay using voucher balance (if applicable) then card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions Of Use and Privacy Notice and authorise Audible to charge your designated credit card or another available credit card on file.

Publisher's Summary

Brought to you by Penguin.

When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you?

This life-changing book will transform your conversations forever

As a society, we’ve forgotten how to listen. Modern life is noisy and frenetic, and technology provides constant distraction. So we tune things out or listen selectively – even to those we love most. We’ve become scared of other people’s points of view, and of silence.

Now more than ever, we need to listen to those around us. New York Times contributor Kate Murphy draws on countless conversations she has had with everyone from priests to CIA interrogators, focus group moderators to bartenders, her great-great aunt to her friend's toddler, to show how only by listening well can we truly connect with others.

Listening is about curiosity and patience – about asking the right questions in the right way. Improvisational comedians and con men are much better at it than most of us. And the cleverest people can be the worst at it. Listening has the potential to transform our relationships and our working lives, improve our self-knowledge, and increase our creativity and happiness. While it may take some effort, it's a skill that can be learnt and perfected. 

When all we crave is to understand and be understood, You're Not Listening shows us how.

©2020 Kate Murphy (P)2020 Penguin Audio

Critic Reviews

The premise of this book couldn't be more timely... inspiringly profound… Smart and playful... It feels like a reiteration of something essential... Murphy is here to remind us – entertainingly and compellingly – exactly why it matters so much, especially right now. Hear, hear. (Viv Groskop)
Gripping from start to finish... brilliant…extraordinarily interesting…full of meat and gold. (Chris Evans)
Fiercely topical... You're Not Listening is an intriguing and constructive take on the problem... and a manual for better communication. Murphy’s book is intelligent and thought-provoking… Listening is when someone take a real interest in who you are…a moment of attunement and understanding that sticks in both heads. We could all do with some of that. (Melanie Reid)

More from the same

What listeners say about You’re Not Listening

Average Customer Ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    56
  • 4 Stars
    23
  • 3 Stars
    6
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    4
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    41
  • 4 Stars
    19
  • 3 Stars
    6
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    3
Story
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    35
  • 4 Stars
    22
  • 3 Stars
    8
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    4

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Opened my eyes (and ears)

This well read audio book kept me engaged and has given me a handful of easy to apply tips that I am using to help build stronger relationships

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

good science bad examples

Decent book but dont rely on CIA agents or Ronald Reagan as good role models.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Exceptionally written and narrated

Engaging, informative and eye opening are just a few of the the descriptors I could use when talking about this book.

This is now one of my favourite self help books, up there with Atomic Habbits and the Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

I will be checking out more work from Kate Murphy.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Insightful

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and the valuable lessons it taught me.
Yes, many things were common sense HOWEVER I needed to hear them from this book with simple justifications and examples. I would listen again in a heartbeat.
As an Aussie, I found the narrator a bit dry but settled into her voice after a chapter or two.

I have purchased the hard copy book of this too.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

certainly informative, engaging with humour

loved it, many things I was unaware but I am thankful that I can understand now and grow my skill to listen to others. it has helped changed my views and thoughts towards others and allowed for more meaningful relationships. thank you Kate for putting together this wonderful book.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

awful narrator she's offputting

sux has been in a relationship 60k since its A while just over a year old and

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

2 people found this helpful

In the spirit of reconciliation, Audible acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.