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You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For

A New Approach to Intimate Relationships with the Internal Family Systems Model

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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

Discover the practical guide to transforming relationships and building lasting intimacy using Internal Family Systems therapy, from bestselling author Dr Richard Schwartz.

Why do loving relationships fail? Is it because of poor communication? A lack of empathy? Failure to accommodate each other’s needs? These are all common beliefs, but what if they’re all wrong?

In You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For, celebrated therapist and bestselling author Dr Richard Schwartz suggests that it is instead because we unknowingly burden our partner with the task of caring for our 'internal family' - the disowned and unloved parts of ourselves.

Building on his revolutionary Internal Family Systems model of therapy, Dr Richard Schwartz provides the essential tools to create healthy and opening communication with your ‘internal family’ and your partner, including showing you how to:

  • Spot and challenge beliefs that create shame and distance in relationships
  • Transform the way our vulnerable parts shape the way we treat each other
  • Turn conflict into a path for personal growth and self-understanding
  • Build strong, lasting intimacy with ourselves and our partners


Practical, accessible, and empowering, You Are the One You've Been Waiting For will equip you with the essential tools needed to build trust, strengthen your connection, and deepen your relationship.

'A must read'
- Esther Perel, bestselling author of The State of Affairs

'My relationship bible' - Gabby Bernstein, bestselling author of Self Help and The Universe Has Your Back

'Releases our capacity to be fully alive in relationships' - Bessel van der Kolk, bestselling author of The Body Keeps Score
©2023 Richard Schwartz (P)2023 Penguin Audio

Love, Dating & Attraction Marriage & Long-Term Partnerships Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships

Critic Reviews

'A must-read for anyone seeking a companion on the path toward self-compassion and love'
'Releases our capacity to be fully alive in relationships'
'The principles and methods shared in this book have offered me direct access to 'courageous love' and a greater connection to my husband than I ever felt possible.'
'This profound and readable book provides clear guidelines for therapists and clients alike ... I enthusiastically recommend this book to anyone serious about improving relationships in the world today!
'Dr. Richard Schwartz's work on Internal Family Systems, along with his latest book, You Are the One You've Been Waiting For, has profoundly changed my life ... Dr. Schwartz's book is the number one tool I recommend for people who are seeking to find greater compassion and love for themselves and others.'
'Thoroughly researched yet totally accessible, Dr. Richard Schwartz's book is written in a compelling manner that had me hooked and gave me hope and tools for how I can enjoy more peaceful, courageously loving relationships.'
'This book guides the reader to realize that the healing journey must first start with oneself.'
All stars
Most relevant
As a young adult who has ADHD, generalised anxiety disorder and is battling an eating disorder, my psychologist originally recommended I read “No Bad Parts” by the same author. (Which I did and would highly recommend) so I read this as well out of curiosity and was pleasantly surprised again. It makes so much sense and is extremely helpful in getting to better understand yourself and learn effective communication. If you have a strong inner critic, are a perfectionist or tend to dismiss yourself , IFS is such an eye opening, helpful source for unburdening those parts of you and learning self compassion. Would highly recommend (it’s an easy read too, with exercises to practice if you wish to as well)

Eye opening

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This technique is genius. I think it's going to save my marriage - IFS couples therapist booked, and I'm on a mission to get to know my parts beforehand 😭

I finally think there's hope

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I love this and find it helpful in many ways. I will listen again, also l have more books that l have purchased using this method and l really relate to them.

It makes sense

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After listening to this Audiobook; I feel I have a new, clear paradigm for interpersonal problem resolution. 😊👍

Very insightful

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