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  • What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat

  • By: Aubrey Gordon
  • Narrated by: Samara Naeymi
  • Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
  • 4.9 out of 5 stars (114 ratings)

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What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat

By: Aubrey Gordon
Narrated by: Samara Naeymi
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Publisher's Summary

From the creator of Your Fat Friend and co-host of the Maintenance Phase podcast, an explosive indictment of the systemic and cultural bias facing plus-size people.

Anti-fatness is everywhere. In What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat, Aubrey Gordon unearths the cultural attitudes and social systems that have led to people being denied basic needs because they are fat and calls for social justice movements to be inclusive of plus-sized people’s experiences. Unlike the recent wave of memoirs and quasi self-help books that encourage listeners to love and accept themselves, Gordon pushes the discussion further towards authentic fat activism, which includes ending legal weight discrimination, giving equal access to health care for large people, increased access to public spaces, and ending anti-fat violence. As she argues, “I did not come to body positivity for self-esteem. I came to it for social justice.”

By sharing her experiences as well as those of others - from smaller fat to very fat people - she concludes that to be fat in our society is to be seen as an undeniable failure, unlovable, unforgivable, and morally condemnable. Fatness is an open invitation for others to express disgust, fear, and insidious concern. To be fat is to be denied humanity and empathy. Studies show that fat survivors of sexual assault are less likely to be believed and less likely than their thin counterparts to report various crimes; 27 percent of very fat women and 13 percent of very fat men attempt suicide; over 50 percent of doctors describe their fat patients as “awkward, unattractive, ugly and noncompliant”; and in 48 states, it’s legal - even routine - to deny employment because of an applicant’s size.

Advancing fat justice and changing prejudicial structures and attitudes will require work from all people. What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat is a crucial tool to create a tectonic shift in the way we see, talk about, and treat our bodies, fat and thin alike.

©2020 Aubrey Gordon (P)2020 Beacon Press

Critic Reviews

“Everyone who has a fat family member, friend, acquaintance, or coworker should read this insightful book.”
Library Journal, Starred Review 

“Gordon provides candid storytelling and critical analysis in this validating and inclusive read.”
Ms. Magazine 

“Writing from a personal and cultural perspective, Gordon goes beyond cosmetic complaints to undress the depths of anti-fat bias and discrimination, ultimately rallying for a social justice movement to form and broaden the scope of the conversation.”
CultureShift 

What listeners say about What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat

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Outstanding

Everyone should read this book. An insightful, smart, entertaining read. I confronted fat biases I thought I had evolved from. Thank you Aubrey for this amazing book, and just generally being an amazing person.

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Incredible book

I think everybody should read this book. It’s based in fact which is so helpful.

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Powerful, eye opening and essential for all

This is without doubt one of the best books I’ve ever read. Thank you, Aubrey.

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Would have been even better with Aubrey narrating

An important book that everyone should read. The narrator was very good but wish it was Aubrey herself.

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💕

Thank you for writing this book Aubrey. You are a wonderful writer. I love listening to your podcast with Michael Hobbs, you both make me think, smile and laugh out loud. I devoured this book in 2 days, it was insightful, honest, sometimes devastating but truly important. Big love 💕💕

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Fat Justice pls

As always @yrfatfriend brings the most astute and affective language to explain both the overt and insideous ways in which fatphobia negatively effects fat folks, and reasons to the reader as to why we should change our socio-cultural, and legislative, practises when it comes to fat bodies. Thank you for your continuing work for fat justice! Thank you for this book!

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Must read!

This book is an exceptionally well written and thought provoking take on fatness and the lives of fat people. Every thin or straight sized person should read this to empathise with their fat friends or family and every fat person should read this to feel seen and validated within our experiences.

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Everyone should read/listen to this book.

Well written, moving and informative. Such an important subject. Cannot recommend enough. A must read/listen book.

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Absolutely fantastic and incredibly important

Aubrey writes about both her personal experiences, as well as in depth about many intricate aspects of weight stigma that are rarely spoken about or known. This is a truly eye opening book for everyone of all sizes, to learn about the importance of equality, kindness, dignity, and the relatively unknown fact that size does not determine health.

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A searing call for fat justice

Aubrey expertly lays out the truths and myths of living in a large fat body. I felt the quiet rage that propelled her to pen this meticulously researched, witty, and evidence based book. She painstakingly traces origins of fat phobia, the falsehoods of the BMI scale, how fat people are represented in media to the systems and institutions that uphold the status quo (read thin and white) today. Among all this, Gordon manages to create this hopeful guidebook on how we can tear the whole thing down. Everyone should read this and reflect on how they treat very fat people.

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