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Publisher's Summary

Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing is a groundbreaking resource that explores the "why" behind self-destructive sexual choices. The audiobook is based on research from more than 3,800 men and women seeking freedom from unwanted sexual behavior, be that the use of pornography, an affair, or buying sex.  

Jay Stringer's original research found that unwanted sexual behavior can be both shaped by and predicted based on the parts of our story - past and present - that remain unaddressed. When we pay attention to our unwanted sexual desires and identify the unique reasons that trigger them, the path of healing is revealed.  

Although many of us feel ashamed and unwanted after years of sexual brokenness, the audiobook invites the listener to see that behavior as the very location God can most powerfully work in their lives. Counselors, pastors, and accountability partners of those who experience sexual shame will also find in this audiobook the deep spiritual and psychological guidance they need to effectively minister to the sexually broken around them.  

Contains mature themes.

©2018 Jay Stringer (P)2019 Tantor

What listeners say about Unwanted

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Great book but hard to follow

This is one where you definitely need to read as a book rather than listen. The narrator speed reads most of it so it’s hard to follow at times.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 04-05-2020

Exactly what I needed to read

If you struggle with any unwanted sexual behavior, I highly recommend reading this book! It gives a whole person approach to healing rather than just being purity focused or just being focused on childhood experiences. My only complaint is that it's definitely directed more towards men, which makes sense when you hear that most of the research was conducted on men and by men. I'd love a follow up book with more information on female sexual immorality.

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  • Russ Shaw
  • 02-07-2019

Best book on sexually compulsive behavior!

Especially for a counselor, coach, group leader or therapist this is the best material for helping folks who struggle that I’ve ever encountered . And I’ve and I’ve encountered a lot podcasting on the topic of sexual addiction a.k.a. sexually compulsive behavior via my podcast Attitudes of sexual integrity since 2005. Because I’ve been doing it so long and have had so many guests It usually ranks in the top five under keyword “sex addiction” on iTunes.
I say that to make you aware of the fact that I consume more of this material then the average person. I’ve read a lot and listened to a lot of material on this topic over the years. As the show grew in popularity I’ve had authors send me books and publicists Suggest many books and guests over the years. Jay’s Unwanted includes stories and is both clinical and inspirational. As a podcaster approaching this from a Christian perspective I can honestly say this is the best book on the topic so far. I’ve interviewed Jay on two occasions once before writing the book and once after. Met him through my friend and friend of Jay’s here in the Seattle area Seth Taylor who wrote Feels Like Redemption, Another great book on the topic. Jay Stringer is full of knowledge, compassion and expertise a must for those who struggle and/or help people who do. Five Stars!

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  • Tony I.
  • 21-12-2020

such a blessing!

As I battle this porn addiction, I have been going to counseling, been in church groups dedicated to recovery, prayed, and fasted. I have cried and entered into several bouts of severe self loathing. "Unwanted" has opened up doors to understanding some of my struggles. I have always been pretty good at identifying issues and their origin, but this has allowed me to further explore. Exploration has allowed me to heal, and in turn, also grow. I am really thankful my Christian counselor recommended this book. For those who don't believe in Christ but still struggle, the information in this book has many, many practical and scientific methods, and is not just someone throwing a BIble at you and shaming you. Actually, that is a benefit for all of us who seek the ability to break the cycle of addiction. I HIGHLY reccomend this, to the po9nt I actually wrote a review!

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  • Jennifer Snelling
  • 15-09-2020

broken

very good for addicted and betrayed people to read for understanding of why things happen to us really enjoyed and recommend

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  • Anonymous
  • 26-05-2020

This book is absolutely, unbelievably next level!

I have not read a more transformational book on the topic of sexual brokenness. As someone who has dealt with pornography for most of his life (since the age of 11, now 23), I have not read a more impactful, explosive, revealing, compelling book.

I have taken this journey seriously for the past TWO years of my life and have read countless resources on the subject. When someone says a book is life-changing, they tend to exaggerate, I actually mean it. Jay has found a key, THE key to real true growth and freedom.

Genuinely, I am telling all my friends about this book, who together have strove toward sexual freedom. Jay so eloquently meshes the explosive power and truth of the Gospel and elements of the Christian faith with real, hard, scientific data, psychological evaluation, and personal accounts.

THIS Jay, I cannot thank you enough for your work!

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  • Scott Carson
  • 29-04-2020

A turning point finally

I particularly liked the reframing of dealing with sexual behaviors. For the longest time, I’ve always had a disturbing thought about some of the tactics and books I’ve read. When in my own mind and heart God was more loving and gracious toward my activity. This book should be on the reading list for all addiction groups dealing with unwanted sexual behaviors. I would appreciate any and all others resources and research that I could get my hands on. Please send to carsonsl@gmail.com

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  • Jonathan Saucedo
  • 20-02-2020

Wowey!!!!

Wow what a wonderful book, thank you Jay Stringer for wring this book and helping me in so many ways to identify the source of my addiction issues. You rock!

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  • B. Bowman
  • 17-12-2019

Groundbreaking, Revolutionary

This book takes on a very difficult topic in our society: sexual brokenness and unwanted sexual behavior. The author uses a very different approach than most books on this topic and allows the reader to see these topics and struggles in a whole new light. I definitely recommend reading this book, especially if you struggle with unwanted sexual behavior and/or experienced any type of sexual abuse or parental neglect.

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  • XGX
  • 21-06-2021

He addresses the ROOT causes not bandaids!

Fantastic book that addresses the root causes of unwanted sexual behavior and not just Band-Aid solutions and accountability groups.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 05-05-2021

What I had been looking for!

Stringer brings together analysis from a plethora of sources and experiences to weave together a compilation of encouraging stories, relatable experiences, deeply moving revelations of guilt and shame, and overarching narrative profound hope. As a male abuse survivor, it was refreshing to read something that I felt encompassed so many aspects of my story and sought to bring the puzzle pieces of my own journey into place on the table. This book is an must-read for anyone searching for answers and the “why” behind sexual brokenness.

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