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The State of Affairs

Rethinking Infidelity

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The State of Affairs

By: Esther Perel
Narrated by: Esther Perel
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About this listen

 ***THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER FROM THE HOST OF HIT PODCAST 'WHERE SHOULD WE BEGIN'***

Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Why do people cheat? Can an affair ever help a marriage?

Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be? Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic; because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees something unexpected - an expression of longing and loss.

A must-read for anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on, or who simply wants a new framework for understanding relationships.

'Esther Perel does nothing short of strip us of our deepest biases, remind us of our purpose in connecting as lovers, and save relationships that might otherwise sink into the sea-all with even-handed wisdom, fresh morality, and wise prose. Thank heavens for this woman.' - Lena Dunham

'Beautiful. A brilliantly intelligent plea for complexity, understanding, and - as always - kindness.' - Alain de Botton

'She's the guru on relationships... she's the first person I ask for advice' - Cara Delevingne

'Wisest sex therapist we ever did meet. Her new book, THE STATE OF AFFAIRS, proposes a new perspective on infidelity' - GRAZIA

'This is a must-have for all married couples and has completely changed my thinking.' - SUNDAY TIMES STYLE©2017 Esther Perel (P)2017 HarperCollins Publishers Marriage & Long-Term Partnerships Personal Development Personal Success Relationships Infidelity Marriage
All stars
Most relevant
As a therapist and as person in relationship, this book is a wonderful challenge and an education in the way to re think our views on the way in which we relate in intimacy.

No Holds Barred

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As a middle age man in a 20 year happy marriage, I'm amazed at how well the author articulates feelings I have, but have never understood myself. The book is full of excellent real life stories that you can relate to.

Everyone in a relationship or about to enter a new one should read this.

The Potential to save your relationship

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Very good insight into the nature of relationships and the modern evolution of the relationship between partners and the desire for others.

Revolution of relationships

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Engaging, insightful. Intelligent and logical without advocation.Calming.A great resource for understanding the complexities and causes of betrayal.

Intriguing

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Esther really has all the experience to back up all of her claims she has put into her book. It is an eye opening book that really breaks down the walls of affairs. The way she delves into all aspects of cheating and how all parties get affected is something you will struggle to find anywhere else in the world.

A true proffessional in their field.

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I had heard her speak before, ted talk. this book goes above and beyond what l expected, her view and experience were well written and none bias to either parties in most of her cases.
very much worth listening to

what an enlightened view

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This book is such an honest and truly supporting work. Brutal at times with its honesty, but delivered with a non judgmental and empathic approach. Highly recommended for anyone facing infidelity or hoping to avoid it. Professionally, this is a wonderful book for anyone working with couples facing betrayal.

A fantastic and deeply helpful read

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This book is so good it’s going immediately in to my re-read/listen pile. Insightful, inclusive, beautifully written, exceptionally researched, empathetic, compassionate, and engaging.

Excellent

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It allowed me to think about and question and reflect to every aspect of my current and past relationships. It always kept me engaged, opened my eyes as well as gave a sense of lightness inside because of all the possibilities that a relationship can be, without being forced and conformed into what we grow up thinking and being told.

I loved every chapter.

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I was fearful of this journey, I'm glad it was you who led me through it.

Esther just gets better

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