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The Mother Wound
- Narrated by: Amani Haydar
- Length: 10 hrs and 9 mins
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The Mother Wound
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Publisher's Summary
'I am from a family of strong women.'
Amani Haydar suffered the unimaginable when she lost her mother in a brutal act of domestic violence perpetrated by her father. Five months pregnant at the time, her own perception of how she wanted to mother (and how she had been mothered) was shaped by this devastating murder.
After her mother's death, Amani began reassessing everything she knew of her parents' relationship. They had been unhappy for so long - should she have known that it would end like this? A lawyer by profession, she also saw the holes in the justice system for addressing and combating emotional abuse and coercive control.
Amani also had to reckon with the weight of familial and cultural context. Her parents were brought together in an arranged marriage, her mother thirteen years her father's junior. Her grandmother was brutally killed in the 2006 war in Lebanon, adding complex layers of intergenerational trauma.
Writing with grace and beauty, Amani has drawn from this a story of female resilience and the role of motherhood in the home and in the world. In The Mother Wound, she uses her own strength to help other survivors find their voices.
WINNER OF THE NATIONAL BIOGRAPHY AWARD 2022 MICHAEL CROUCH AWARD FOR A DEBUT WORK
WINNER OF THE VICTORIAN PREMIER'S LITERARY AWARD FOR NON-FICTION 2022
WINNER OF THE MATT RICHELL AWARD FOR NEW WRITER OF THE YEAR 2022
WINNER OF THE 2021 SYDNEY MUSIC, ARTS & CULTURE (SMAC) AWARDS
SHORTLISTED FOR THE ABIA BIOGRAPHY OF THE YEAR 2022
SHORTLISTED FOR THE NSW PREMIER'S LITERARY AWARDS THE DOUGLAS STEWART PRIZE FOR NON-FICTION 2022
SHORTLISTED FOR THE NSW PREMIER'S LITERARY AWARDS THE MULTICULTURAL NSW AWARD 2022
SHORTLISTED FOR THE NED KELLY AWARD FOR BEST TRUE CRIME 2022
SHORTLISTED FOR THE QUEENSLAND LITERARY AWARDS 2022 NON-FICTION BOOK AWARD
LONGLISTED FOR THE WALKLEY BOOK AWARD 2021
Critic Reviews
"A magnificent and devastating work of art. There is a raging anger here, and a deep sorrow, but at the core Haydar gives us truths about love. This is one of the most important books I've ever read." (Bri Lee)
"Shattering, unforgettable, beautifully told." (Randa Abdel-Fattah)
"Gripping, transcendent, tender and, at times, infuriating. With a daughter's heart and a lawyer's mind, Amani Haydar maps the territory that connects the wars we fight abroad to the wars we endure in our homes." (Jess Hill)
What listeners say about The Mother Wound
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Isabelle Ali
- 15-04-2022
Tragic yet beautiful account of Amani’s Story
Thank you for being so strong and vulnerable sharing your story, I cried, I laughed and even reflected on my own family’s history on domestic violence. Hearing your own voice through this audio made it so much for authentic and effective. I hope that there are many changes within our society and government that hopefully prevent tragic events like these happening again. Thank you again for sharing your story.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 19-07-2021
Amazing!
What a brilliant piece of work. So honest and raw. A story that shares the heart break and experience many people can relate too.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- JANE KANIZAY
- 10-02-2022
Written a and spoken from the heart
Amani has written a deeply felt memoir of love and loss in tragic, violent circumstances. She addresses the root causes of domestic abuse. She provides warnings for others. Amani’s story should be essential reading for men and women. Yet Amani tells her story with deep love for her family and hope for her future. I hope her future is brighter and truly blessed
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 03-06-2023
Powerful, empowering, and important
I feel honoured to have been able to listen to the author's story. A powerfully presented memoir and one I will think about for a long time and remember always.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 05-09-2021
amazing work
this book was an insightful listen it covered topics of feminism more domestic violence trauma and overall a story displaying resilience.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Nom Blashki
- 03-11-2021
Brave, Bold
A brave, honest, compassionate, and enlightening telling of experiences we are too quick to choose to ignore.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 27-02-2024
A raw perspective of Family Violence
Everyone studying Social Work needs to read this book. After Amani spoke in 2020 at my uni - Western Sydney University about her experience, I knew I wanted to read her book. After studying Family Violence, there is no textbook that comes close to hearing Amani’s story. I feel inspired and privileged to have heard her voice tell her Mothers story, it’s something I will reference and reflect on for some time. Her story is complex, from a court case that had me on the edge of my seat, to the dynamics of culture, gender and family. Amani’s story at its core is about her Mother and Grandmother’s legacy and how she will preserve that through celebrating their lives. While not shying away from the reality of a brutal murder that left her without her Mother. A Mother’s Wound is an extremely eloquent story of Family Violence’s intersectionality and the complex wounds it leaves.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 29-08-2021
The Mother Wound - Amani Haydar
Amani’s parents immigrated to Australia from Lebanon in the late 1980’s in the midst of the Lebanese civil war. In 2015 her father brutally murdered her loving mother, Salwa. During this unfathomable loss, Amani was working as a lawyer and 5 months pregnant with her first child. The grief and trauma that goes with becoming a mother whilst loosing your mother (and your father in another sense) is extremely hard to imagine.
In The Mother Wound, Amani shares very personal details of her family life growing up right through to the present day. She covers such a huge range of important topics such as feminism, grief and dealing with trauma, generational trauma, cultural and religious expectations, sexism, gender roles, racism, Islamophobia, domestic violence, the justice system and so much more. She adds social context by using the balance of her lived experience vs. facts, research and statistics (which are all extremely sobering).
Being a lawyer, Amani had a firm understanding of how the justice system worked and her breakdown of the murder trial was extremely interesting. She also talks about the many inadequacies within the legal system and policies relating to criminal justice and victim support. Legislation and support is seldom fit for purpose when dealing with victims and families who are are affected by Domestic Violence. Amani is a passionate advocate for change in these areas and her story highlights the importance of advocacy.
Parts of this memoir were extremely sad whereas others were inspiring. Amani’s mother, Salwa was an educated woman who’s life work was helping others in various job roles. Her tragic murder is difficult to reflect on and Amani talks about this. The guilt and pain that from wondering about the signs of abuse that may have gone unnoticed and the ‘what if’s’.
This memoir is as informative as it is heartbreaking. Amani is an incredibly intelligent and inspiring woman. The whole way through I was in awe of her resilience and ability to move forward while fighting for change and honouring her mother’s legacy.
I have never had so much trouble writing a review. This book is absolutely incredible and I fear I’m not doing it justice here.
I HIGHLY (and I can’t stress this enough) recommend this book. Hands down the most incredible memoir I have ever read.
This is a book that will stick with you for a very long time.
5/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Instagram: @chooksandbooksnz
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 08-09-2021
Incredible
Simply put, this memoir is a must listen to/must read. With grace and with poetry, Haydar traverses her story, her mother’s story, her grandmothers story and a raft of complex social and cultural and political issues in a way that is both personal and universal. This book is so thoughtfully and greatly written, and it is narrated by the author with a special audio excerpt which I won’t spoil. It is essential listening and I implore everyone to download it.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- nikki paull
- 13-01-2023
Sad but excellent
Thank you for sharing your story. You are an amazing woman, mother, daughter!
Insightful and often hard to listen to what her lived experience was. Thank you for allowing us in and giving a voice to DFV victims both partner and children’s perspectives.
Important for all to ‘read’. Thank you for reading your story Amani.
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