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Publisher's Summary

A candid memoir of denial, stolen identities, betrayal, faking it, and coming out.

Do you know me?, the email began, sparking tremors of fear that turned into a full quake of panic when William Dameron discovered that his selfie had been stolen by strangers. On social networks and dating sites, his image and identity - a forty-year-old straight white male - had been used to hook countless women into believing in lies of love and romance. Was it all an ironic cosmic joke? Almost a decade prior, William himself had been living a lie that had lasted for more than twenty years. His secret? He was a gay man, a fact he hid from his wife and two daughters for almost as long as he had hidden it from himself.

In this emotional and unflinchingly honest memoir of coming out of the closet late in life, owning up to the past, and facing the future, William Dameron confronts steroid addiction, the shame and homophobia of his childhood, the sledgehammer of secrets that slowly tore his marriage apart, and his love for a gay father of three that would once again challenge the boundaries of trust. At the true heart of The Lie is a universal story about turning self-doubt into self-acceptance and about pain, anger, and the long journey of both seeking and giving forgiveness.

©2019 by William Dameron. (P)2019 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.

Critic Reviews

 “Though the subject matter is serious and often painful, [Will] Damron’s warm tone emphasizes the hope at the heart of the narrative. Listeners will be comforted by the light touch and gentle humor he brings to this audiobook, even as they empathize with the pain and regret so apparent in his voice.” - AudioFile Magazine

 “Compelling…Darkly animated…Tamps down the tall grass of untold experience.” - New York Times

 “Candid and compassionate, the book celebrates truth and honors the redemptive power of forgiveness and love…Uplifting.” - Kirkus Reviews 

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  • Camellia
  • 18-07-2019

Beautiful, heart-wrenching, and full of hope

This is the first memoir I've listened to on audiobook and it was stunning. I cried. I laughed. William Dameron's life story and gorgeous and insightful writing took me on an incredible journey. Writing about coming out as a gay man late in life -- and with a wife and two daughters -- Dameron doesn't shy away from the hard moments. He writes with both brutal honesty and deep compassion about what this meant for him and his family. The pain lying to himself and about himself caused -- but also the way that owning and living a new truth ultimately created even stronger family bonds. Dameron's memoir takes us from lies to truth, from darkness to light in a way that is so personal and yet so universally human. This is the kind of book that sticks with you long after the last chapter.

16 people found this helpful

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  • Lisa Villa
  • 25-08-2019

Beautifully written

William Dameron is a very talented writer, it was emotional and powerfully written. He has a way with words that makes it easy to listen and feel his meaning in depth. He did an excellent narrative as well.
I felt this memoir helped me-a married mother in a heterosexual relationship-understand the life of a gay man. Not only a gay man but a closeted gay father in a long term marriage. I enjoyed and learned much from this book even though I cannot say I am 100% in agreement with his decision making it did help to open my mind and to be empathetic.
The only reason I did not give this book 5 stars is because as difficult as it must have been to leave his marriage I did not feel that there was not alot of reflection on his part as to the aftermath his ex-wife and two daughters would and continue to endure. He seemed quite focused on getting in tune with his authentic self that it seemed to overshadow his families journey. He touched on it here and there but I felt as if it weren't as important to him as finding himself. I guess as a mother it made me sad, I don't know if I can ever shift my focus from my children to myself. I really feel my parental obligation trumps everything. And when I say that I dont mean that he shouldn't be honest with himself and his family but that he should hold off from dating and getting serious until his children have all the love and emotional support they need while they are growing up. It's hard enough to endure a divorce, but to add in the truth of sexuality and then dating-thats alot for a young person to process. As I said earlier this is the reason I didn't give 5 stars, because I could imagine his girls reading it and feeling their heartbreak. If I were them I would probably choose not to read, in some places it could be heartwarming while others it could devastate them.
As far as the quality, top of the line in writing capabilities and in audio performance. Sheds light on the topic and is helpful for our society to understand. I hope this book helps others in the closet to avoid his hardships in the future.

45 people found this helpful

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  • Greta
  • 31-12-2019

What's With All the Five Stars?

First, I have personal experience with this subject matter so that has nothing to do with my reasons for bailing on this book.
Second, after reading about the book's conclusion, I may actually skip ahead and read the conclusion. Homosexuality is indeed a politicized subject; and Will Dameron totally has the right to say exactly what he thinks. (Visit Wikipedia's "social policy of Donald Trump" and jump to "LGBT anti-discrimination laws.")
BUT.... Here are my issues:
1. The vocal affect Dameron employs when reading any of the women's parts makes the women sound like idiots—unreasonable and/or demanding, crazy, abusive, silly, manipulative, cloying. I don't think he means to be misogynistic. But he turns many of them into cartoons in his effort to get his point across. I wonder if my impression would be the same if I were reading the book.
2. God help me if one more character "tilted his/her head." I wasn't consciously counting but after a while I realized I was waiting for the next person to do that. And, sure enough, there came another tilter. At least once in a while couldn't somebody have "cocked his/her head"?
3. The weather. Weather is relentless in this book. If it rains or snows or there are clouds or the sky is blue, we're going to hear about it. Enough with the weather already.
4. At times he sounds like David Sedaris, minus the well-honed double-edged humor.
5. The author's high anxiety exhausted me. This morning I turned to my (gay) husband, who has been smiling and chortling his way through PG Wodehouse's books for the last month, and said, "If you acted like this guy, dude, you'd be outta here." I realized in that moment that time is precious for us all, and the world is full of so many books. Others may need to read this one. The five-star reviews are for them. Ignore all the head-tilting. Enjoy the lovely descriptions of the weather. Feel compassion for this man's suffering. Appreciate his personal revelations.
6. For myself (after I skip to the ending)—I'm going to return this book and go get myself some Wooster and Jeeves.

6 people found this helpful

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  • BHosk
  • 29-07-2019

Wow

What a great book, amazing and heartfelt story. Very much relatable to all stages of coming out.

6 people found this helpful

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  • Mark Loewen
  • 10-09-2019

This book is so needed!

At first, I picked this book up because the topic is so needed. We have very few coming-out stories of people who came out later on life, and who had to come out to their spouses and children. But then I was completely pulled in by the beautiful writing. Dameron describes every scene so well that it felt like I was reading a movie.

There is so much emotion in this book. I admire how much insight he gained over his his journey. I love how he strings all the different chapters together. It’s a beautiful work of art that honors all the difficult experiences he has been through. You’ll cry, and cringe, and sigh and hold your breath.

I highly recommend this book. Loved it!!

10 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 04-10-2019

good true story

Good story, I could relate to several parts to his struggle. poignant and heart felt.

7 people found this helpful

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  • Kay Lo
  • 04-12-2019

Not what I thought...

I bought this as a deal of the day, not totally getting what it was about. The sample made me think it was about people stealing his identity. Anyway, overall the story was interesting & compelling, particularly when I noticed it was a memoir...I know, it clearly says it’s a memoir, but I go through a lot of audio books and I’m not into science fiction, so I tend to buy the daily deals if they aren’t that genre without looking too closely. Anyway, I think the delivery was kind of flat but I can forgive that since it was narrated by the author.

The one thing that bugged was the “in this time of Trump” comment towards the end. I was like, “huh?” This story truly felt like it could have been at any time over the last decade or 2 aside from the fact that there was gay marriage, why politicize a personal story?

6 people found this helpful

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  • Julia
  • 13-08-2019

Well written memoir

Written from the heart, great memoir writing. The perfect length for the story. Makes reader feel like they know the author and his struggles.

6 people found this helpful

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  • Shhh, listen.
  • 27-12-2019

If only....

...someone else had narrated this story. I felt for what the author was going through but the overly-earnest reading of nearly every passage was wrong for a story already fraught with turmoil and emotion. It ultimately felt over-acted with emphasis and sentimentality heaped on things that either did not need any or spoke for themselves. I wish the narrator had put more trust in the author's words...and in the listener.

2 people found this helpful

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  • U. Wright
  • 18-11-2019

Great read

Sad but also lovely story about living your truth. At the end it becomes a win-win for all.

5 people found this helpful

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  • Jackie
  • 07-08-2019

honest journey shared ....thanks

in some ways, while a journey thru soul-searching and coming out, it also reaches out to other later life discoveries and why we are and how to find self acceptance...thanks!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Paul Marks-Jones
  • 12-01-2021

Thought provoking and honest tale

I think anyone would enjoy this book.
It covers so many aspects of life and even for the non lgbt community it’s a great way of understanding the struggles and barriers still faced by many people.

Will narrates with passion and integrity and this made the book even more enjoyable

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