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The Haunted Forest Tour

Narrated by: Joe Hempel
Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
3.5 out of 5 stars (6 ratings)
Non-member price: $24.37
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Publisher's Summary

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Haunted Forest Tour! Sit back, and enjoy a smooth ride in air-conditioned comfort as your heavily armored tram takes you through nature's most astonishing creation. The forest is packed to capacity with dangerous and terrifying creatures of all shapes, sizes, and hunger levels, and you'll get to observe these wonders in complete safety.

Howl with a werewolf! Gaze into the glowing eyes of a giant spider! Look right through a spooky ghost! See horrific monsters you couldn't even imagine, only inches away from you! Things with fangs, things with claws, things with dripping red jaws - you'll see them all!

Not thrilling enough? Well, it's Halloween, and so we're offering a very special tour through the Haunted Forest. The new route goes deeper into the woods than any civilians have ventured before, and you're guaranteed to get a good scare! Rest assured that every possible security precaution has been taken. The Haunted Forest Tour has a 100 percent safety record, and technical difficulties are unheard of. You will be in no danger whatsoever. 

We promise.

©2007 James A. Moore and Jeff Strand (P)2018 Tantor

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Lots of blood and guts

A bit of light entertainment with lots of guts and gore, and monsters galore.

I loved the prologue with the forest coming into existence, it was a really unique and interesting scene.

Lots of interesting creatures that were a bit different to the usual werewolves and vampires etc.


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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

the Haunted Forest <br />

A great book, loved it. The narration was excellent. couldn't put it down, I wish there was a book 2, I would buy it in a heart beat.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Jason
  • 07-09-2018

WOW, just WOW. Great book!!!!

Jeff Strand and James A Moore have crafted one of the most fun gore feats ever. The body count is enormous. The Monsters are very interesting and original. I liked the Harpies. This is one ride that every horror fan should take.
The action is nonstop, no rest for the wicked or the innocent. Graphic groo and blood and guts and brains and eyeballs and...so wonderfully fun.
The best part is that you really feel a connection to the characters and want them to be safe. You understand the anguish Christopher feels, you can empathize with the choices Lee makes. Just great writing.

Joe Hempel once again brings all he has for an amazing performance. There was not a single character in here that did not have a unique voice or accent or nuance to it. Amazing job!!!

20 of 21 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
  • T. Winter
  • 12-10-2018

Right up my alley, but . . .

I know I will take a beating for this, but I don't feel like this was one of Strand's best. I usually love his books, but this one was disappointing for a number of reasons. The narration by Joe Hempel was fantastic as usual, but story wise, for me it was too much too soon. There was no suspense and no build up because everything just hit the fan right off the bat. We hardly even knew the characters before people started getting killed off in mass quantities. It was like, oh, someone else is being eaten by a monster two seconds after the last guy? Okay. In other words, no tension at all.

Character development was also comparatively bland by Strand's usual standards. There were a lot of characters here (which is good given the rate they die), but I didn't feel connected to most of them. Maybe that was intentional, to ease the disappointment at losing them? If so, I would call that part a failed experiment, because it didn't work for me.

All in all, this felt a bit like one of those late night black and white monster movies, except with 10,000 different monsters instead of one, and on speed. I guess I would still recommend you listen to it, as long as you don't expect much.

8 of 8 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
  • Dawnde W.
  • 12-09-2018

So much fun!

Whereas I was a little surprise by the overwhelming sexism... I really enjoyed this book!
I would listen to Joe Hemple read the phone book. And despite all of the monstery goodness and ripping apart of humans, there were also parts that actually made me laugh. Very entertaining, very worth the credit, very worth the time. It was like Jurassic Park on steroids.

14 of 15 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Levi
  • 24-09-2018

a fun ride what can I say.

so if your intro horror movie like me you can appreciate this tale. now full disclosure there is little suspense but a lot of thrill and action. Think of aliens instead of alien.

8 of 9 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • S. Winchester
  • 10-09-2018

Great roller coaster ride, satisfying ending!

I wasn't sure what to expect when I started this book. I was pleasantly surprised. Among all the gore, I found myself rooting for the characters, and anxiously awaiting their fate. Well crafted, there are not a lot of slow moments. And I felt the ending tied everything up nicely. It's a book that really holds your attention all the way through!

12 of 14 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
  • Pixie Skulls
  • 23-10-2018

A great premises that didn’t quite deliver

I really like the idea behind this story: a “haunted forest” just appears out of nowhere and after the initial shock the people who happened to own the land it sprouted out of turn it into a tourist attraction without ever really understanding what it is or why it’s there. It has air of ‘magical realism’ where the incredible and fantastic is quickly accepted as reality and eventually considered mundane in a surreal kind of way. Unfortunately as the story progresses and the mystery of the forest is revealed that quality disappears with it and the plot becomes fairly generic and unremarkable. The only other thing this story has going for it is a considerable number of descriptions of monsters killing or at least trying to kill a lot of hapless victims - so if you're into that than this book might be for you.

One additional critique, which I normally wouldn’t make but it really stuck out to me here, is that I was very aware a man (or more accurately two men) wrote this story. Pretty much all the female characters are gratuitously sexualized by the male characters (Mark and Hannah being by far the most tedious example). The male characters never (or at least rarely) actually express these feelings but since most the story is told from the perspective of various male characters you get a ton of it through their inner monologue and after awhile it just started to wear on me. Even when a situation is entirely unsexy the potential sexual nature of the situation has to be pointed out. For example: ‘Normally Ben wouldn’t have minded Sally falling on top of him like that, but the bloody stump of her severed head sort of spoiled the moment.’ This isn’t actually from the story, but there is a lot of stuff like this. I don’t know if the writers were playing off of that whole “men think about sex every 7 seconds” thing/myth for authenticity or what, but I found this theme incredibly annoying and immersion breaking.

In terms of performance it was fine, the reader’s voice was good though occasionally a bit snarky in tone and didn’t do much to add additional horror to the overall story.

Ultimately if you are really into many different monsters killing people over and over again (Cabin in the Woods style) then this story might be for you, otherwise you’ll probably be disappointed.

7 of 8 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • HappyWifeHappyLife
  • 02-10-2018

Great Book

i enjoyed listening to this book. some of the names are similar so you have to pay close attention.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Amazon Customer
  • 28-09-2018

fun and exciting adventure

Very creative and action packed with great twist and turns. Would turn my hair white to even see a sketch of some of the creatures. Very fun and spooky read.

5 of 6 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Roger U.
  • 20-09-2018

A thrill ride from start to finish.

I loved this one and found it so engrossing I finished it in two days.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
  • lilsallyrocket
  • 13-09-2018

Great performance- okay story.

Performance is very good, I just lost interest about 4-5 hours in. Maybe I had high expectations for the book, maybe i imagined it was going to be more interesting. Idk. The performance is great, and the story has a strong start but somewhere along the way I just lost interest. I hate to give a bad review and since the story does start strong I gave it 3 stars, the performance I have a 5. Very well done.

5 of 6 people found this review helpful

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  • SarahC1985
  • 06-09-2018

Talk about a terrifying tour!

This book answered all my requests for a seriously scary horror. It's one of those books you can read, knowing you're at home, safe, and it doesn't really exist! I think if I'd been there, I'd have had a heart attack before anything else could happen to me! I read a reviewer on Amazon, and I totally agree. After reading the tour guide blurb on the cover, I just had to read it! I love haunted houses etc, but that is something else! There were parts which made me cry, without giving away any spoilers! I also really like Jo Hemble, the fact I think he has a nice voice aside, he is a very good narator, and he really brings this to life, and you could almost believe you were watching it all happen. Although nowa days with health and safety, I don't think this would ever happen in real life, even if such a thing existed! I asked myself before reading, would I go on this tour? Answer is, probably not, as I'm blind so wouldn't see anything, but would I even if I could? To be honest, I don't care how safe their trams are, answer is probably still no! You want a horror book which doesn't skimp on the detail, read this. It doesn't take long to get started! I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who loves horror! But don't read before sleep! Enjoy!

17 of 17 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • michael bailey
  • 06-01-2019

Not a ghost story

What can I say? I enjoyed it but not really my sort of thing. My fault I should have read the synopsis. But if you are into monsters, other dimensional transference, plots of world take over then you are in for a rare treat. And what ever you don't get too attached to attached to characters!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
  • Chuck stuff
  • 26-03-2019

Rushed with just filler

straight into the action is sometimes fun but it felt jumbled here. and the ending was really lame and rushed

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
  • Amazon Customer
  • 09-03-2019

Reasonable read, but not great.

Delighted to have recently discovered Jeff Strand. Just read Wolf hunt 1 & 2 and they were fantastic. The narration was also top class on them. 5 star. This was my third book, co written but less humour than the first two. Just bought Cyclops Road.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Ms J. Wilkinson
  • 25-02-2019

A haunting read

I’m surprised I enjoyed this book, but I very much did.
It’s a gory festival of heroism and demonic possession. There are some very funny parts, and some that make your stomach churn.
It’s a page turner ( or in my case in audio) and I would recommend it.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Sarah
  • 07-02-2019

Packed with gore and suspense at every turn!

An easy book to get through with lots to keep it exciting. Rven when you have to put it down for a while, it's quick to enjoy again.

Lots of characters to keep up with but enough descriptors to learn them quickly without killing the flow.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • MR
  • 06-02-2019

brilliant story totally unbelievable but great fun

not too scary or gory but an interesting twist to the genre. it was obvious a simple team ride would be easy but a nice twist took place

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
  • NotYourAmelie
  • 17-01-2019

Eh

I ended up returning it. I loved the premise - it's novel and interesting. Unfortunately every female 'character' (by which I mean that they have zero personality and are walking stereotypes) is rated on her looks and nothing more. Every male character is either an objectifying ass or an idiot, it's stereotypes only right from the start. There's also an unhealthy dose of fatphobia in there too. Either the writer has no idea how to write three dimensional characters or this was badly written satire on the objectification of women. Unfortunately it seems likely to be the former. I'd give it a miss.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Me
  • 07-01-2019

Not your normal story

Ok so I was gripped. I was hoping for happy ever after but this book is a real gripping listen.
Read well

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
  • Savvas Kleanthous
  • 07-01-2019

Really enjoyable!

While I can't say that I was scared during this book, I did quite enjoy it. It is the book equivalent of a gory horror flick, but a fun one.

I really liked that there are lots of different nasties and the author very unabashedly keeps throwing everything at the poor tourists. I especially loved how we start from a weird occurence that sets the table: "insane evil magic happens, now here it goes CRAZY", instead of trying to weave in a weak backstory to how monsters really exist or something. As I said pure gory horror fun.

I didn't particularly enjoy the narration. I found it too flat across the board. All characters sounded EXACTLY alike. Luckilly most of them die so you have few to keep track of, but still it would have helped. Moreover, the tone was absolutely flat without any hint of emotion. I found it worked for some scenes but I feel the degree that it was present made things much worse rather than making you feel like an observer or whatever was the intention.

Anyway, overall a pretty fun, and in my opinion underrated book. If you like monster nasties or if you're a fan of horror movies do check this out.