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  • The Courage to Be Disliked 

  • How to Free Yourself, Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness
  • By: Fumitake Koga, Ichiro Kishimi
  • Narrated by: Adrian Mulraney
  • Length: 6 hrs and 50 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (1,399 ratings)

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The Courage to Be Disliked 

By: Fumitake Koga,Ichiro Kishimi
Narrated by: Adrian Mulraney
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Editorial Reviews

Exploring ideas from Western psychology with an Eastern perspective, The Courage to Be Disliked offers a thought-provoking conversation on the pursuit of happiness.

What is the secret to genuine happiness? The Courage to Be Disliked approaches that question in the form of a Socratic dialogue between a philosopher and a lost young man who is facing a 'crisis of meaning'. Presented in short chapters that are easy to digest, the ensuing conversation and its insights are perfectly suited for audiobook listening.

The authors, philosopher Ichiri Kisomo and business/nonfiction writer Fumitake Koga, were inspired by their common interest in the theories of prominent 20th-century psychologist Alfred Adler. Using Adlerian psychology ideas and principles to help the young man in The Courage to Be Disliked, the conversation evolves into a series of lessons in developing self-confidence and achieving self-actualisation that has proven popular worldwide.

Before its English translation in 2017, The Courage to Be Disliked sold more than three million copies in Asia and was made into a television show in Japan. The show depicted an unmarried female detective who lives according to the title’s lessons. The decision to have a female lead was deliberate to appeal to Japanese women aspiring to be more independent. 

Benefit from centuries-old wisdom and modern empowerment. Dare to think for yourself and download The Courage to Be Disliked today.

Publisher's Summary

The Japanese phenomenon that teaches us the simple yet profound lessons required to liberate our real selves and find lasting happiness. 

The Courage to Be Disliked shows you how to unlock the power within yourself to become your best and truest self, change your future and find lasting happiness. Using the theories of Alfred Adler, one of the three giants of 19th-century psychology alongside Freud and Jung, the authors explain how we are all free to determine our own future - free of the shackles of past experiences, doubts and the expectations of others. 

It's a philosophy that's profoundly liberating, allowing us to develop the courage to change and to ignore the limitations that we and those around us can place on ourselves. The result is an audiobook that is both highly accessible and profound in its importance. Millions have already benefited from its wisdom. Now that The Courage to Be Disliked has been published in English, so can you. 

Please note: This is a recording of the 2018 print edition. 

©2017 Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga (P)2018 Bolinda Publishing Pty Ltd

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Shining a light on the here and now

I found this book fascinating in that it made clear many vague ideas I already have and perhaps at times inadvertently live by. Nevertheless Many points - in particular about anger were quite new to me.
Then concept that CONTRIBUTION is the guiding star to happiness is quite profound. Also that one can only be an individual in relationship to society points out that our connections are what define us.
The point is made that it is up to each individual to discover the meaning for their own lives- that life does not in itself provide an intrinsic meaning.
I was intrigued that Adler points out that all problems are about personal relationships and that our relationships are best when horizontal- meaning that they are best kept on an equal basis rather than vertical whereby there is a power relationship.
Towards the end of the book it is pointed out that if you only shine a dim light on the here and now (so that you can look back into the past and look into the future) then the light on the present moment will be dim.
However - Adler says- the past and the future do not exist so shining the light on the present enriches every moment.
There is no sense that one should not have goals. In fact having goals is crucial. However it is the journey to get there that is the life and that moment to moment should be viewed as a dance. If the goal that was originally set is never reached in the form anticipated then nothing has been lost- the journey had been a valuable and enriching experience. One needs only courage to take the next step and to live with the intensity that is potential in every moment of life. Then even if life is short - it becomes a life well lived.
One should not live to impress others- that means one is not free. Freedom is achieved only by being true to ones own path. As soon as one tries to live by somebody else’s yard stick then one loses one’s direction. One needs the courage to make a personal contribution without looking for external praise.
It is a series of philosophies that perhaps need listening to twice! I may have distorted some points in the retelling - I would strongly recommend this book!

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69 people found this helpful

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Great Philosophy! Listen don’t Read!!

Love & recommend the content & main messages of this book. As long as you love philosophy & can follow the sometimes long winded conversations, you will appreciate it. The content is presented as an ongoing dialogue between a philosopher & a young man. I would hate to read the actual book, as I think I would loose interest due to this type of presentation, but listening on audible was quick & worthwhile.

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24 people found this helpful

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Numbingly boring & condescending.

I find my mind wanders after a minute of listening. I can't tell the two voices apart and feel lost constantly. Perhaps reading it makes sense but if you are having trouble sleeping this will get you off in no time.

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Dumbed down too much

The idea of presenting the content as a dialogue is great to help simplify the concepts. However I found that it did not work in practice. The ‘youth’ character was presented as petulant and the ‘philosopher’ character as condescending. The idea did not pay off and the concepts were over-simplified. I persevered - confident that it would improve as we progressed through the book. It didn’t and I regret not turning it off early.

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  • Qi
  • 14-07-2018

I don't understand all the good reviews

Some points in this book are alright and can be helpful I guess. But can't say I agree with some arguments in this book. For example: "Trauma doesn't exist"; the author basically said if you have any anxiety or depression disorders, then that's because you wanted it. You are using your "anxiety" or "depression" to achieve some of your personal goals. One last point, the term "Adlerian psychology" appears way too much. I know this is a book about Adlerian psychology, but when it appears like twelve times in ten minutes, that's just way too much.

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15 people found this helpful

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Not what I expected.

Maybe I wasn’t in the right mind frame for this but I just could get into into. The voice annoyed me, the way it was structured into dialogue made it hard to engage with and I found the actual content no at all what I expected. Unfortunately not for me.

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10 people found this helpful

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ACTUALLY A LIFE CHANGING BOOK. I WANTED MORE.

I had the hard copy and the audio simply because I couldn't put it down. When I couldn't read the hard copy I had Adrian's voice in my head. One of the best readings I've heard. Also, I sometimes struggle with the voices of audiobooks, but Adrian's was perfect. The book is incredible and I'll be reading it again within the month to commit to memories. The more I read it the more I'll absorb it and the easier it will become to put it into practice. EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS BOOK. EVERYONE

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7 people found this helpful

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Controversial, Fascinating

Loved it, listened twice. I have no regrets about this book, I just wish it had an e-book accompaniment.

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Really comes together in the end...

I struggled to get through this, but I stuck with it. And yes, I wish I knew about Adler 20 years ago but... the format of this book is written as dialogue. Almost like a play.

Philosopher: "speaks"
Youth: "replies"

And the narrator READS "Philosopher" and "Youth." At first hearing that, I was dismayed. I found it jarring and difficult to listen and think. But, it is dropped yet reintroduced periodically.

I also found the voices of each protagonist, as voiced by Mulraney, difficult. He is a great narrator and has a wonderful voice, but the format requires two distinct voices in conversation and I struggled listening to one person voice them interchangeably in such quick succession.

Ultimately, it was worth it. These initial annoyances faded and I found myself listening intently and was fascinated and inspired by Adlerian psychology as richly illustrated here.

The afterward, where seperately, Koga and Kishimi talk about how this book came about and how they worked together is a very important part of this book and left me feeling a lot better about having stuck with it to the end.

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4 people found this helpful

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Never left a review before. One word - Amazing!

I've never left a review for any book, I've never read (or listened ) to a book more than one time.
I have listened to this book 4 times in the last few weeks.
The concepts are mind bending compared to what we generally think/are taught. They are not technical concepts to understand, but very thought provoking.

If your life is up the creek without a paddle or you have an interest in self improvement/psychology- you must read this. This book blows away any other self help type book ever written IMO.

The title is somewhat mislesding.... not in a bad way, but in a way the book goes much, much deeper than just the title.

Sign up for free, get your free credit and get this book. It will change your life.

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  • Blair Elton
  • 28-08-2019

Approachable, applicable.

Hints of Buddhism, Stoicism, antifragility and all the elements of practical psych & philosophy in an easy to listen to, conversational form. Loved it!

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  • Mati ⭐⭐⭐ 🇦🇷
  • 31-07-2019

You Will have some many "aha" moments

Great Book, you will be complete inmerse in the dialogues! If you are looking for something new and fresh, this book is for you

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  • Lolly Gwabavu
  • 28-06-2019

Great concepts, poor execution

Some really great insights and philosophy. The monotonous drone of the same narrator speaking as both Sage & student does not work well. Characters not at all relatable. Would have read better as a straight forward how to or essay on Adlerian psychology.

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  • JD
  • 10-07-2018

this book is life changing

I will not be the same having read this book. thank you to the authors.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 03-01-2020

Life changing

This book beautifully puts together the recipe to living freely and happily in an uncomplicated way.

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  • Andrew Crook
  • 31-07-2019

wow

Yea, this is a good one. I found this book insightful and relevant. The book was easy to listen to, as a dialogue the audio book format is ideal.

just as the author concluded, I am researching and learning of Alfred Adler.

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  • Ricardo
  • 09-05-2023

Not recommended

Not for me went round in circles and no real point to the book . Some good points but could summarised on one page

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Anonymous User
  • 28-08-2022

Average listener

The general idea or topic of the book is fair. The earlier chapters successfully draw the listener into more listening. However, it is monotonous and as such may be for a seasoned listener with keen interest in philosophical theory.

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  • Patrick
  • 26-05-2022

Not Buying Into It

I get people make excuses for things, but this is almost nihilistic. It promotes disregarding competition altogether, rather than how to deal with things like failure or genuine inferiority. Not really helpful.

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  • Mann
  • 26-01-2022

A bitter and powerful dose of reality

I sincerely struggled with the first hour of the book as I found the dialogue setting a bit annoying. Luckily, I persisted as the conversation started to get richer with some profound concepts like interpersonal relationships, separation of tasks and contribution. It's a heavy listen/read but worth it if you like rigour of a well defined philosophy.

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  • Mark
  • 15-11-2018

I had to bang my head on the wall to feel normal

the format of student and philosopher is taken to the extreme by this annoying boring piece of nonsense.. I an a fan of psychoanalysis and also teach it professionally and was intrigued by the message but the delivery is awful. The message is sound but the delivery and style would be more suited to AD 39 in a Roman school rather than in my car. It drove me bonkers. The student was an annoying teenage moron..…..and the philosopher was a self satisfied old git ( I to am an old git but at least have a sense of that). Read Adler but avoid this

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  • LittleBuddha
  • 12-01-2020

"Trauma Does Not Exist" BOLLOCKS

Read about 20% of it and it made me feel utterly depressed.

I have a diagnosis of Complex post traumatic stress disorder so the assertion that "Trauma Does Not Exist" and that it all boils down to courage, frankly, crushed me.

Victim blaming at its worst.

Do not buy this book. It's not what it's presents itself to be.

Instead, look for an EMDR therapist who Will hear you, validate your experiences and help you to heal.

love and light x

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  • Yas
  • 30-05-2018

Fabulous and life changing.

Having recently started reading up on stoicism this book seemed like a natural addition to my learning. It complements stoicism and the style of the reading with a philosopher of Adlerian philosophy and the young student works extremely well.

I can listen to the book many times over to capture nuggets of wisdom that I missed in the previous reading. Well narrated, very beneficial and enlightening. A joy!

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54 people found this helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Shaun Taylor
  • 25-10-2018

Great performance, terrible book

Excellently performed, the voice acting reminded me of the radio version of the Hitchiker's Guide To The Galaxy so gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling.

The subject matter itself was as expected from early Psychology - a series of arbitrary assertions based on what the author feels about life, unfettered by such things as evidence. Useful as a point of view, but hardly life-changing.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 17-03-2018

Refreshing

Found this audio book challenging at times but overall glad I stuck with it...Interesting ideas...

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  • James
  • 22-09-2018

Possibly a very important book

I've sat halfway through a second listen-through, and feel that this book could be very important for me. It's hard to say yet. It's certainly let down by the annoying voice-acting, which renders the "youth" of the dialogue more petulant than he needs to be. The voice actor over-does it a bit. In fact, I think the "acting" is unnecessary altogether. A straight (or even just slightly straighter) reading would have served this dialogue much better. As it stands, I get distracted by how unfortunately annoying the characters are.

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24 people found this helpful

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  • Julie7193
  • 12-01-2019

Must read

This offers an alternative viewpoint to being happy and what prevents each one of us from becoming so, I am certainly going to take this point of thinking and put it into practice. Don’t resist, live in the now .

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  • bimble
  • 10-06-2018

Very thought provoking read

I was inspired by this book and that is, I suppose, its purpose.

I have read many philosophy and psychology books in attempts to learn wisdom. This book, to steal from Tolkien, is possibly 'one to rule them all'. A real unifier of great thinking.

Adler was a great and insightful man, and this is a diamond of a book. The authors, in his footsteps, do humanity a continued service by making his wisdom both accessible and contemporary to all those who follow. (or is that lead....)

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17 people found this helpful

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  • James
  • 10-02-2019

Adler pshycology.. interesting and well laid out

straight to the point .. typical that it takes less than 15 words to review

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  • T
  • 16-10-2018

This book changes everything

I can't even begin to tell you how much this book has helped me in so many ways, and I think the details would be meaningless as I imagine each person will get something unique from it. So instead all I will do is recommend it to everyone.

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