The Art of Disappearing
A Childhood of Fear, and the Lifetime of a Habit of Hiding
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The Art of Disappearing
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Narrated by:
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Todd Eflin
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By:
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Mike Larsen
Summary
I became very good at hiding long before I understood it as a survival mechanism. I learned to shrink myself in doorways, in conversations, in rooms where the wrong kind of attention could snap the air like a belt, and under beds with my face in a pillow when the abuse got real. I learned silence as a second language and then as a first.
Some children are taught to speak up, shine, and be seen. I was taught to scan a room like a soldier. To anticipate shifts in weather that had nothing to do with the sky. To make myself small. Then smaller. Then gone.
Fear was the architecture of my childhood—every room was built with its blueprint, and every day was designed around not waking something dangerous. What began as a defense became a ritual and, eventually, a habit. I disappeared so well, so often, I started to wonder if I had ever fully arrived.
This book is not just a telling of a story. It's a return. A slow, reluctant reappearance. I wrote it not to be heard, necessarily, but to see if I could find myself after all this time, after all this hiding. If you're listening, you're not just a witness. You're company. And that's something I never expected to have.
©2025 Michael T Larsen (P)2025 Michael T Larsen