Star Wars: We Don't Do Weddings: The Band's Tale (Dramatized) cover art

Star Wars: We Don't Do Weddings: The Band's Tale (Dramatized)

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Star Wars: We Don't Do Weddings: The Band's Tale (Dramatized)

By: Kathy Tyers
Narrated by: full cast
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About this listen

 Figrin Da'n and the Modal Nodes - bopping Bithians and members in good standing of the Intergalactic Federation of Musicians - were under exclusive contract to Jabba's Palace. They were hoofing it up when Jabba's arch rival sent E522, a recycled assassin droid, to make them an offer they couldn't refuse.

Figrin Da'n didn't do weddings. But Lady Valerian had imported herself a Whipid mate from her homeworld and was dead set on getting hitched in high style. And what with Figrin Da'n's gambling debts, three thousand credits could set him up just fine. But before they could cut the cake, Lady Val's bounty hunter bridegroom took Jabba's bait, skipped town to find Han Solo, and the party exploded into murderous mayhem.

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Cute little noir pastiche, perhaps most notorious for possibly introducing the unfortunate term "jizz" into Star Wars' canon. Where most of the franchise's audio productions get by with John Williams' music, this production includes original music for the band to play. It's clearly not the London Symphony Orchestra, but it's neat. The story somewhat needlessly confuses the cantina band with Jabba's palace band, but it all sort of slots together in-universe if you squint a bit.

Everyone loves Jizz!

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