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Publisher's Summary

Divorce is difficult under the best of circumstances. When your spouse has borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or is manipulative, divorcing can be especially complicated. While people with these tendencies may initially appear convincing and even charming to lawyers and judges, you know better - many of these "persuasive blamers" leverage false accusations, attempt to manipulate others, launch verbal and physical attacks, and do everything they can to get their way. 

Splitting is your legal and psychological guide to safely navigating a high-conflict divorce from an unpredictable spouse. Written by Bill Eddy, a family lawyer, therapist, and divorce mediator, and Randi Kreger, coauthor of the BPD classic Stop Walking on Eggshells, this book includes all of the critical information you need to work through the process of divorce in an emotionally balanced, productive way. Turn to this guide to help you: 

  • Predict what your spouse may do or say in court 
  • Take control of your case with assertiveness and strategic thinking 
  • Choose a lawyer who understands your case 
  • Learn how emails and social networking can be used against you 

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio. 

©2011 William A. Eddy and Randi Kreger (P)2012 Tantor

Critic Reviews

"Splitting provides concise, clear, and invaluable advice for strategically navigating a divorce from someone who has narcissistic or borderline personality disorder. Following the suggestions laid out in this book will greatly increase the [listeners'] odds of having a successful marital dissolution under these difficult circumstances." (Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW, author of Contemplating Divorce)

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  • Ri M
  • 04-09-2015

Effective narration, strong voice...

Really gets the point across...but after more than 20 years of abuse and still not finding a good pro bono attorney, the style of the narration left me feeling more intimidated, less protected, more vulnerable, more scared of my abuser and his attorney. I praise it for being very thorough, but it was very triggering for me to listen to. On top of that, it's left me feeling like I am totally under the gun to recreated everything on paper, repair lost and broken relationships, etc, overnight. These are things I have only a few weeks to do, to represent the over 20 years of horrible, soul-destroying abuse, and I'm not sure I can do it in this timeframe. DONT PASS UP THIS RESOURCE! LISTEN *NOW* AND BE PREPARED!!!! I just think it might benefit from being re-recorded, slightly softer... that's all. It really scared the hell out of my already scrambled, WAY over-andrenalinized, hypervigilant limbic system!!! AWESOME RESOURCE!!!!!

8 of 8 people found this review helpful

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  • Stephen Curtis
  • 10-04-2013

Read this Now if You are Divorcing a Borderline

What did you love best about Splitting?

Very useful advice about the court system and custody matters, with advice from two experts who give specific to people who are in a court battle with someone who suffers from borderline and or narcissistic/antisocial traits.

Well written and well read. More than worth the price if you are involved in such a situation, think you might be in the future, or just want to know more about personality disorders.

What other book might you compare Splitting to and why?

Stop Walking on Eggshells by Randi Krieger. Written by one of the authors and a more comprehensive overview of BPD and NPD.

Have you listened to any of Jeffrey Kafer’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

no

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

yes

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

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  • Martha Hillis
  • 05-05-2016

Excellent: Read the Whole Book

Are you being isolated and blamed for every negative situation in your family life? If yes, Splitting was written for you. Splitting is informative and proactive. The book brings to light problems that may occur and clear steps of action you need to know to protect yourself and/or your children from a BPD or ND spouse.
I highly recommend using it as a guide and first step toward preparation for separation and divorce. I plan to buy a hard copy to implement the written letters at the end of the book.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • rad
  • 02-09-2015

A MUST HAVE if youre in a contentous divorce

Where does Splitting rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

Well, I havent listened to many, and this is more of an instructional book than a story, though it uses many to illustrate its points. It is not exactly entertaining but ot is incredibly enlightening and should be used by attorneys, judges and families confronting divorce and child custody issues

What did you like best about this story?

That is offers usefil detailed approaches to prevailing in court when youre up against an individual who is willing to so anything to win.

Have you listened to any of Jeffrey Kafer’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

This is my forst. He speaks in a calm modulates voice that is easy to understand and follow, you can take notes .

If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

This is not a screenplay.

Any additional comments?

Can you guys adapt the review process to include questions that are about nonfiction and informational texts like this one? These are important tools people can use in crisis and professionally. The ability to assess their usefulness is often derived by reviews written by readers like me. My first impulse was to not do it when I read the template . My bet is more people listen to non fiction than fiction; moreover, more non diction fams will read reviews than devotees to the James Patterson mill.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Thomas A Hackenberg
  • 04-08-2015

Buy it

Highly recommended, very useful and on-the-mark book that saved me time, energy and legal fees

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • MC
  • 15-05-2015

necessary read!

necessary read for high conflict divorce. it explains the last 19 years of my life!

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Jill
  • 21-01-2014

Clear, concise and useful

If you find yourself in the regrettable position to be divorcing someone with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, or many of the most troublesome traits associated with these disorders, this book will help you prepare and cope.

4 of 5 people found this review helpful

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  • Camillionbux!
  • 21-07-2017

Worst Voice Ever!

I cannot even listen to this book due to how horrible the Narraters voice is! I will never buy another book narrated by this man. It's like a really bad actor, who sounds one drink away from falling out of his chair. He has a lousy tone to his voice that makes me cringe.. I have started the book over 3 times because it is so bad, slowed it down, sped it up.. just impossible.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • RedIrish1
  • 13-01-2017

Read before Divorcing an NP!!

Would you listen to Splitting again? Why?

Absolutely. There is so much valuable information in this book. I only wish I had found it prior to divorcing an NP. It would have said me a lot of money and heartache.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Splitting?

The information on how to find the "right" divorce attorney was so very vital.

Which scene was your favorite?

The examples of how and what an NP is capable of pulling was spot on.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

You Can Get Out, And Still Keep Your Sanity!!

Any additional comments?

Highly recommend!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • i got it!
  • 15-12-2016

excellent info

compared to other books on this topic, what i liked most was 'less example stories and more real info'. our family has needed this info in the last two years and i would say this book is the one i would recommend.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Tracey
  • 25-06-2018

A Must Read for Any Court with BPDs

Very detailed information amd helpful suggestions. Also some very insightful facts into what to expect when going to court with a Borderline whether divorce or other.

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  • Onewave
  • 12-05-2018

ESSENTIAL

this is essential information for anyone splitting up with a BPD / NPD. even if you're not, it will provide a deep understanding of the nature of the disorder.
however, it is completely US-centered and a lot of time is spent houng over American legal specifics.
nonetheless, if your not US-based it will present the right questioning of your own legal system, give you ideas and open up greater options.
you are not alone.