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Sex at Dawn

How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships

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Sex at Dawn

By: Christopher Ryan, Cacilda Jetha
Narrated by: Allyson Johnson, Jonathan Davis, Christopher Ryan (Preface)
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About this listen

Since Darwin's day, we've been told that sexual monogamy comes naturally to our species. Mainstream science - as well as religious and cultural institutions - has maintained that men and women evolved in families in which a man's possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman's fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing. Fewer and fewer couples are getting married, and divorce rates keep climbing as adultery and flagging libido drag down even seemingly solid marriages.

How can reality be reconciled with the accepted narrative? It can't be, according to renegade thinkers Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha. While debunking almost everything we "know" about sex, they offer a bold alternative explanation in this provocative and brilliant book.

Ryan and Jetha's central contention is that human beings evolved in egalitarian groups that shared food, child care, and, often, sexual partners. Weaving together convergent, frequently overlooked evidence from anthropology, archaeology, primatology, anatomy, and psychosexuality, the authors show how far from human nature monogamy really is. Human beings everywhere and in every era have confronted the same familiar, intimate situations in surprisingly different ways. The authors expose the ancient roots of human sexuality while pointing toward a more optimistic future illuminated by our innate capacities for love, cooperation, and generosity.

BONUS AUDIO: Includes a Preface written and read by author Christopher Ryan.

©2010 Christopher Ryan, Cacilda Jetha (P)2010 Audible, Inc
Human Sexuality Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Social Sciences Thought-Provoking

Editorial reviews

In Sex at Dawn, husband and wife team Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá have written a book that questions both modern-day standards of human sexual behavior and the scientific history of our early ancestors. The book first explains and defines what it refers to as “the standard narrative”, the story of how humans evolved from our prehistoric ancestors to be monogamous beings with conflicting biological imperatives for males and females. Then, it goes on to refute this narrative, providing evidence from noted modern scholars like Steven Pinker, Malcolm Gladwell, and Frans De Waal, as well as renowned scientists and philosophers like Charles Darwin, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, and Thomas Hobbes.

Ryan and Jethá write, “Science all too often grovels at the feet of the dominant cultural paradigm.” Indeed, one of the most powerful ideas that Sex at Dawn puts forth is that culture has a way of coloring scientific and historical “fact”. Some of the examples given are quite disturbing, especially when large institutions are clearly engaged in cover ups of our true nature. The authors assert that many sexual myths (for example, that masturbation is some kind of medical affliction) have been repeated and disseminated over the years by religious, health, and state organizations. They take a controversial stance that this “cover up” tactic has also been applied to the non-monogamy of our closest primate relatives and early man. They believe that even if non-monogamy is not the dominant mode of being for contemporary humans, at the very least it should be viewed as a historic basis for our desires and behaviors.

The narration, which alternates between Allyson Johnson and Jonathan Davis, is clear and straightforward, particularly well-suited to this kind of book. Johnson especially makes the information, which can sometimes be dense, easily digestible and relatable. One of the authors, Christopher Ryan, reads the preface, which gives a hint of how he came to be interested in exploring the given subject matter. Through this section, we also get a way to connect directly to the authors and thus, the human (as opposed to the scientific) aspect of the issues discussed.

To claim that this work is exclusively or even mostly about sexual behavior would be a stretch. The book is very holistic, tackling bigger-picture issues of science, culture, history, and philosophy. That said, these large ideas are needed as building blocks for the claims the authors make about sex. Another triumph of Sex at Dawn is the attention the authors have given to presenting material on sex as it applies to men and women equally. Along those lines, another high point of the narration is that it echoes this sentiment through the interchanging male and female voices, reminding us that these ideas apply to both sexes in different ways.

What the book posits exactly is somewhat unclear. The authors themselves admit that they're not exactly sure what to do with all the information they have unearthed. That said, the great strength of Sex at Dawn is that it opens the discourse about human sexual behavior sans many of the taboos that traditionally accompany the topic. —Gina Pensiero

Critic Reviews

“Funny, witty, and light ... Sex at Dawn is a scandal in the best sense, one that will have you reading the best parts aloud and reassessing your ideas about humanity’s basic urges well after the book is done.” ( Newsweek)
Sex at Dawn is the single most important book about human sexuality since Alfred Kinsey unleashed Sexual Behavior in the Human Male on the American public in 1948.” (Dan Savage)
"My favorite book of 2010...it's the only book I read this year that proved that I was badly mistaken about something." (Peter Sagal, host of NPR's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!)
All stars
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This book is a sociological and anthropological look at human behavior. The prose is entertaining, accessible and in no way condescending. The narrator was a perfect choice as her the tone of her voice is comforting and just emotional enough that you could sense the sarcasm intended by the authors from time to time. I recommend this book to all of humanity!!! That we might release ourselves from the scackles of cultural behaviors which hurt the relationships in our lives would be freeing..and IS necessary for our further evolution.

If you're a person, you should probably read this.

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Definitely gave me new insights about the topic and interestingly seems logical. would definitely want to try to live in this kind of secular society

Eye-opening

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Everyone from western culture should read this book as general education of others and their past.

Educational and forward thinking.

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At last. So much is clear everyone should read this book. Reviews scientific evidence of human sexuality in a well thought out and intelligent way.

Brilliant

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it might be too mind-blowing for those that cling to the notion of monogamy. For those that aren't sure, it will be mind-blowing. The performance is great even if you don't want to accept the premise.

a world changing book

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feels more like a passionate disassembly of evolutionary psychology and early anthropology than a book about how sex evolved. I wonder if, a decade later what the authors might revise. I was particularly surprised at how unimportant sexuality or gender was in this book as they saw all sex as sex. refreshing.

perplexed

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Lots of ideas but sometimes feels like a jumble of stories. Certainly worth a listen to challenge modern conceptions of relationships.

Worth a listen

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While heavy going in places, with a lot of anthropological evidence to challenge the assertion that monogamy is our "natural" relational state, this is a brilliant book about how "modern" man has sought to beat non-monogamy to death (sometimes literally) despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. If monogamy is the natural state of human relations, why then do we need so many stigmas, rules and punishments to promote it?
The final 20 minutes says it all: How can we continue to defend a socially constructed and enforced system that creates so much unhappiness or reactions to infidelity that causes so much destruction? It amazes me that we have so much tolerance to everything, including same-sex relationships, yet monogamy is still the only acceptable form of marriage. As Esther Perel says, "never has something been so widely condemned yet so widely practiced" throughout history and in every culture. From this, you can draw your own conclusions about what is normal and what is socially concocted.
If you learn and embrace compersion, you will see that intimate relations with others contribute to personal fulfillment and happy marriages, not undermine them.

Challenging accepted dogma

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An essential book, opened my eyes to the world around me - sex, love, attraction, relationships - what it's all about. Can't recommend enough - everyone needs to read this.

Amazing read.. will explain everything.

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Great book. Gives some answers or at least tough starter. Still not sure what to accept and what to reject from the book. But it is useful to know about this idea.

Great book! A must read!

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