Regretting Motherhood cover art

Regretting Motherhood

A Study

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Regretting Motherhood

By: Orna Donath
Narrated by: Mandy Kaplan
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About this listen

Women who opt not to be mothers are frequently warned that they will regret their decision later in life, yet we rarely talk about the possibility that the opposite might also be true - that women who have children might regret it. Drawing on years of research interviewing women from a variety of socioeconomic, educational, and professional backgrounds, sociologist Orna Donath treats regret as a feminist issue: as regret marks the road not taken, we need to consider whether alternative paths for women currently are blocked off. She asks that we pay attention to what is forbidden by rules governing motherhood, time, and emotion, including the cultural assumption that motherhood is a "natural" role for women - for the sake of all women, not just those who regret becoming mothers.

If we are disturbed by the idea that a woman might regret becoming a mother, Donath says, our response should not be to silence and shame these women; rather, we need to ask honest and difficult questions about how society pushes women into motherhood and why those who reconsider it are still seen as a danger to the status quo. Groundbreaking, thoughtful, and provocative, this is an especially needed book in our current political climate, as women's reproductive rights continue to be at the forefront of national debates.

©2017 Orna Donath (P)2018 North Atlantic Books
Gender Studies Motherhood Parenting & Families Relationships Social Sciences Sociology

Critic Reviews

"Donath breaks open what she describes as an 'unspoken taboo,' bringing the notion that women regret becoming mothers into the public discourse with her latest research....The most valuable elements of the book are the different perspectives provided by the interviews, which reflect a striking amount of self-awareness (and, often, suffering) from women who have otherwise largely kept silent." (Publishers Weekly)

"Forthrightly feminist ... Donath's study fills a gap in discussions of women's lives and choices. While it will undoubtedly be a hard pill for many to swallow, it is also a necessary one." (Foreword Reviews)

"Donath carves out a much-needed space for these women to share, in their own words, stories about how they got to where they are, and how they manage now. Mixed in with these interviews is analysis by Donath, who expertly examines and questions the structures of a capitalistic, patriarchal society that not only contributes to women finding themselves in this position, but also prevents them from speaking about it. Many have never heard sentiments like the ones shared by Donath's interviewees - and that needs to change." (BUST Magazine)

All stars
Most relevant  
Interesting perspective of “the other side” that no one talks about.
I’m sure even women with children who do not regret it can still relate to the ideas in this book about women’s excessive unpaid labour and the female rage it induces.

Interesting perspective

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the change in voice to indicate different narration, will definitely read it again. the study done was interesting and without bias

the changes in voice to indicate different narration

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I recommend all women to read/listen this book, it's a good book to get a different perspective about motherhood.

Good book to read to get a different perspective

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Great read. It is nice to hear women's voices around delicate topics that have been covered in shame. I could definitely relate to so many of other mother's points of view on motherhood, even though I do not regret my experience.

Relatable (even if you don't regret motherhood)

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Disappointing. Women who choose not to have children are always threatened with the spectre of possible regret and I was looking forward to reading about the flip side of this equation.
But according to this utterly brainwashed leftist author, motherhood regret seems all due to racism, capitalism, patriarchy and all the usual hobby horses of the left. Yawn.
And no, men don't also give birth.

Author brainwashed by WOKE ideology

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