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Raising Resilient Children with a Borderline or Narcissistic Parent

By: Margalis Fjelstad,Jean McBride
Narrated by: Senn Annis
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Publisher's Summary

Being partnered with a narcissist or borderline personality can be hard enough, but learning how to shield children from the fallout is paramount. Here, the authors tell listeners how to manage parenting when a narcissistic or borderline partner is part of the equation.

Life in a narcissistic family system is at best challenging, and too often filled with chaos, isolation, emotional outbursts, and rigid controlling behaviors. It is too often devoid of peace and emotional safety. In the worst outcomes, children in these families grow up with low self-worth, issues with trust and belonging, and a lack of self-compassion. They are at significant risk of carrying the cycle forward and having poor adult relationships. This book offers a way to intervene and disrupt the cycle of negative outcomes for children. 

Authored two family therapists who bring a combined total of 60 years of clinical practice with individuals and families, the book pulls no punches, giving clear-headed advice, easy-to-follow actions to help children, and an abundance of teaching examples. Instead of the doom and gloom scenarios often presented about life with a narcissist or borderline, this book provides a much more positive outlook, and most importantly, it offers hope and a path to an entirely different outcome for the family members. 

Supported by current research in neuroscience and mindfulness, and parenting information, the book focuses on teaching resilience and self-compassion to raise emotionally healthy children, even in a narcissistic family system. It starts by helping parents get a clear understanding of what they face with a narcissistic or borderline partner. There is no room here for denial, but there are also many options to explore. It explains how and why the narcissistic family system functions so poorly for raising healthy children, and pinpoints the deficits while providing information on how to intervene more effectively for the benefit of the children. 

Using their years of experience, the authors present ideas for staying together as well as knowing when to leave the relationship and how best to do that. Emphasis throughout the book is on supporting and strengthening the listener with encouragement, concrete ideas, skills, and compassionate understanding.

©2020 Margalis Fjelstad and Jean McBride (P)2020 Rowman & Littlefield

What listeners say about Raising Resilient Children with a Borderline or Narcissistic Parent

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Survival guide for parent partner to narcissist.

Informative guide to raising kids in a disfunctional family. Easy to understand and put into practice. Great reference book for raising kids full stop.

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Couples counseling is not always the answer

After living with a partner with NPD for twenty years, I couldn’t work out why couples counseling wasn’t quite right for us. This book was very informative and I feel validated for the path I took for my children. This audiobook was well narrated and I recommend it to any parent who feels like they are going crazy trying to be both a parent and a partner to someone with NPD or BPD.

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This book helped me immensely

There is sufficient explanation of attributes a narcissistic or boarderline parent may have and what the family dynamic looks like. However it doesn’t leave you feeling hopeless about being in this situation. This book not only helps you with strategies for dealing with a spouse or co-parent with a personality disorder but also gives you a sense of control and optimism that your children will be okay because you will be their safety net. Practical parenting guidance is provided throughout. I will be listening to this book again!!

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Full of stigma and outdated ideas

This book is offensive. It generalises everyone with BPD or NPD as the same and portrays them as the other or the villain. This isn’t helpful for children or the family unit at all. I was looking for advice on how to be a good parent but instead I got prejudice.

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The best book if you are juggling a partner with BPD or NPD

Sometimes it’s so easy to feel like you’re drowning in this dynamic in the house. I love my partner so very much, but managing the awful outbursts of rage makes life pretty stressful. It’s not something many friends or family know or understand. This book was so reassuring, and gave practical advice to deal with what’s going on. Highly recommend it to any other parents in the same position.

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