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Publisher's Summary

Being partnered with a narcissist or borderline personality can be hard enough, but learning how to shield children from the fallout is paramount. Here, the authors tell listeners how to manage parenting when a narcissistic or borderline partner is part of the equation.

Life in a narcissistic family system is at best challenging, and too often filled with chaos, isolation, emotional outbursts, and rigid controlling behaviors. It is too often devoid of peace and emotional safety. In the worst outcomes, children in these families grow up with low self-worth, issues with trust and belonging, and a lack of self-compassion. They are at significant risk of carrying the cycle forward and having poor adult relationships. This book offers a way to intervene and disrupt the cycle of negative outcomes for children. 

Authored two family therapists who bring a combined total of 60 years of clinical practice with individuals and families, the book pulls no punches, giving clear-headed advice, easy-to-follow actions to help children, and an abundance of teaching examples. Instead of the doom and gloom scenarios often presented about life with a narcissist or borderline, this book provides a much more positive outlook, and most importantly, it offers hope and a path to an entirely different outcome for the family members. 

Supported by current research in neuroscience and mindfulness, and parenting information, the book focuses on teaching resilience and self-compassion to raise emotionally healthy children, even in a narcissistic family system. It starts by helping parents get a clear understanding of what they face with a narcissistic or borderline partner. There is no room here for denial, but there are also many options to explore. It explains how and why the narcissistic family system functions so poorly for raising healthy children, and pinpoints the deficits while providing information on how to intervene more effectively for the benefit of the children. 

Using their years of experience, the authors present ideas for staying together as well as knowing when to leave the relationship and how best to do that. Emphasis throughout the book is on supporting and strengthening the listener with encouragement, concrete ideas, skills, and compassionate understanding.

©2020 Margalis Fjelstad and Jean McBride (P)2020 Rowman & Littlefield

What listeners say about Raising Resilient Children with a Borderline or Narcissistic Parent

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Survival guide for parent partner to narcissist.

Informative guide to raising kids in a disfunctional family. Easy to understand and put into practice. Great reference book for raising kids full stop.

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  • Joseph McGraw
  • 21-03-2021

Wish I had when my kids were younger

Dr. Fjelstad and colleagues write so clearly and helpfully it amazes me. All of her books have been so helpful, brave, and honest. So many healthcare practitioners want to hide behind clinical jargon and keep you on a hamster wheel that catering to the borderlines and narcissists in your life. Finally someone who has the bravery to tell the truth.

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  • Benita R. Cloward
  • 15-03-2021

Highly recommend!

Lots of very helpful and useful information. Validation and understanding.
Not a big fan of the narration of the audible version.

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