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Radical Relating

A Queer and Polyamory-Informed Guide to Love Beyond the Myth of Monogamy

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Radical Relating

By: Mel Cassidy, Kai Cheng Thom
Narrated by: Mel Cassidy
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About this listen

A provocative, trauma-informed guide to post-monogamy—how to build liberated relationships rooted in empowerment, equity, and authenticity

With practical somatic exercises, reflection prompts and a relational toolkit—also includes a glossary of polyamory, non-monogamy, and alternative relationship terms


This book is for polyamorists who want to practice their non-monogamy with more feminism, more queerness, and more community building. It’s for monogamists who don’t want to do relationships on autopilot. It’s for everyone who dearly believes a better way to love and live exists. It’s for change makers who aspire to re-wild the ways we love.

An empowering guide to imagining (and living) better relationships, Radical Relating pushes back on the monogamy mandate. Author, somatic educator, and relationship coach Mel Cassidy explodes the often-unquestioned mainstream myths about the nuclear family structure: those that tell us your soulmate must be your sole mate. That sex is the only yardstick of relational success. That self-sacrifice and self-denial are necessary trade-offs for security and partnership. That we need to ride the relationship escalator all the way up, or we’ll die alone.

In four sections, Cassidy explains the why, what, how, and where of the Radical Relating model. They:

  • Lay out clear-eyed analysis about why monogamy isn’t working and explain the harms of unquestioned internalized mono-normativity
  • Offer Reflective Journaling prompts, Somatic Pauses, and practical wisdom for assembling your Relational Toolkit
  • Explain the trauma-informed pillars of Radical Relating: Orientation, Resilience, Resolution, and Engagement
  • Help you reorient to a new map for relating that’s queer, anarchist, and somatically integrated
  • Help you build skills to understand and navigate your relationship landscape
  • Explore the intersections of monogamy, colonialism, patriarchy, and capitalism and illuminate how monogamous relationship structures emerged with one goal in mind: to consolidate capital

Most books on non-monogamy focus on top-level logistics and play into beliefs that can inadvertently replicate oppressive structures. Radical Relating is different: it speaks to readers who want not only to open up their relationships or expand their sexual experiences, but claim a new and liberating ways to relate to each other, fulfill our authentic needs, and build true communities of care beyond monogamy.

©2025 Mel Cassidy (P)2025 North Atlantic Books
Love, Dating & Attraction Parenting & Families Relationships Sociology Thought-Provoking

Critic Reviews

“In Radical Relating, Mel Cassidy gives the reader many practical tools for working through the process of building the relationship ecosystem they want. Where the entry into non-monogamous relating can often feel like a drop onto a section of map that just says ‘Here There Be Dragons,’ Mel’s trauma-informed lens and suggested activities (especially the Relational Ecology Mapping and Four Quadrants Model of relationships) are enormously helpful in giving landmarks to that space. This book is kind, open-hearted, and full of many years of wisdom regarding somatics, polyamory, and relationship anarchy from which folks can glean the pieces that best serve them in their connections.”
—Laura Boyle, relationship coach and author of Monogamy? In This Economy?

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