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Portrait of the Nonartist

By: Lancelot Schaubert
Narrated by: Daniel Dorse
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Publisher's Summary

Mom and dad wanted him to write the next great American novel, so he had a typewriter gathering dust in a closet. They wanted him to compose a symphony that would get him to Julliard or at least U of I, so the piano sat in the basement (alongside the money pit trombone) until its keys stuck. They wanted him to DJ the local radio and work his way up to NBC or even the Tonight Show as a comedian if he did enough stand-up. They focused on so many routes to his future fortune (which would be theirs as well) and future fame (the source of their future fortune) that he ended up rebelling his way into mediocrity. In telling him he could do anything, they told him he was good for nothing but their own pleasure, their own wealth, their own celebrity, their own power.   

But he could drive a truck, by God. Wasn't that worth giving your life to? Blood and all?

©2019 Lancelot Schaubert (P)2020 Lancelot Schaubert

Critic Reviews

“Schaubert’s words have an immediacy, a potency, an intimacy that grab the reader by the collar and say ‘Listen, this is important!’ Probing the bones and gristle of humanity, his subjects challenge, but also offer insights into redemption if only we will stop and pay attention.” (Erika Robuck, national best-selling author of Hemingway’s Girl)

“Loved this story because Lance wrote about people who don't get written about enough and he did it with humor, compassion, and heart.” (Brian Slatterly, author of Lost Everything and editor of The New Haven Review)

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