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Publisher's Summary

It's all about cheating - the biggest threat to intimacy. Typically, men are good at creating rifts in relationships but terrible at mending them, especially after they've repeatedly betrayed their partner through sexual infidelity. For the most part, cheating men are both intimacy-challenged and empathy-challenged, and, as such, they lack the skills needed to overcome the damage wrought by their infidelity.

Robert Weiss has spent over 20 years in the treatment of sex and intimacy issues. He's helped both cheating men and their betrayed spouses move through the horrors of infidelity. In Out of the Doghouse he shares his expertise, illuminating the ways in which men can move beyond their usual feeble efforts to smooth things over. Saying "I'm sorry" and trying to "buy forgiveness" with flowers and jewelry may temporarily calm the stormy seas of infidelity. However, these actions do nothing to re-establish intimacy and trust - the key components to help the distraught woman feel better about her relationship over the long-term and get over the cheating.

The simple truth is, men and women are very different when it comes to intimacy and relationships. While men are able to compartmentalize things like sexual infidelity, women typically view cheating as an affront to their entire relationship. They think, "If he is lying to me about sex, he's probably lying to me about everything." For betrayed women, trust just flat-out disintegrates. And without proper guidance, men have little hope of restoring it. Weiss provides exactly the needed guidance in Out of the Doghouse, helping men move past the usual infidelity roadblocks that result from cheating in ways that will not only save a damaged relationship, but restore intimacy to make it better than ever.

©2017 Robert Weiss (P)2018 Tantor

What listeners say about Out of the Doghouse

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Informative.

Great listen interesting advise. I agree with many parts. But - The pain of the betrayed lasts a life time . Relationships are really never the same, even when she stays and loves her husband differently not as deeply. Any man that cheats will always lose and has to work the rest of his life to prove himself to his significant other. In my experience trust is gone always wondering. Love is shallow never deep as it once was . Care factor disappears. He has to work very hard at restoring the partnership. He needs to really be in love with for it really be effective. Thanks for your insight.

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  • Jeff M
  • 01-08-2020

Dude: if you are confused, listen to this.

Unlike most of the reviewers on here, I'm a dude and read this of my own volition. I'm grateful for that and it gives me hope. I wanted to know what I could do to suppprt my partner, which was the last few chapters of the book. Most of the book is about giving dude's a clue about what they have done and how hurtful it has been for the partner. I already knew and owned all that so it was not super helpful. Weiss uses the word spouse, which assumes marriage. Probably fair, because if a couple is not married, infidelity probably spells doom for the relationship. In any case, I joke that this book should be subtitled "you are an a**hole and don't know it". I appreciate that the author is reaching out to a broader audience than the recovery crowd. This is a good service for dudes who need a clue. That said, if you are already in recovery and working a program with a sponsor and doing deep work on yourself and relationships, this book may not help you much. However, if you're scratching your head saying "why is she so angry?", then do yourself a favor, listen to this book and listen up. I'm surprised how many women listened to and reviewed this book. The fact that women like it is a clear sign it is relevant for you, dude. Also, if you are reading this review and considering this book, you probably need it. Otherwise, why are you even reading this review?

6 people found this helpful

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  • Melissa Stanley
  • 17-02-2018

Perfect with only one regret.

I hope that the man I love reads or listens to this. I gave him a hard copy and sent him the audio version as well. He is a serial cheater and sex addict who has attempted suicide on several occasions as a result of my catching him acting out. I can only hope this book speaks to him. It explained what I am experiencing and what I need and want perfectly. My only regret is that Robert Weiss is no longer seeing patients.

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  • LAURA B.
  • 30-05-2018

Especially if your the wife....

Its been 3 years since my D day and sometimes I still struggle through a day....This book has helped my husband to understand the pain I feel and to help me/us through it...

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  • Emilymx
  • 19-09-2018

Nailed it

Got this book for my boyfriend when i found out he cheated. Best decision. Not only is it helping him to see how’s he’s hurt me, but it’s helped me feel justified in my emotions and not so alone. Recommend for men and the hurt women in their lives

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 08-04-2021

Good Book

I would have liked more information about sex addiction and exploring why men cheat. Good Book overall.

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  • Crystal Hicks
  • 22-03-2021

Great book !

A great read for both men and women .. cheater or person being cheated on ! A lot of great information !

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  • Plains
  • 20-01-2021

The book assumes your partner has not already left you

It’s a bit like too little too late unfortunately. I’d imagine most guys have already disclosed by the time they find this book. They pick up the book specifically because of disclosure or discovery wrecking their relationship. This ENTIRE book assumes the woman chose to stay in the relationship. I think that’s a huge assumption. I think the book should be 50% off if your partner has already left you since it’s probably only 50% of the guys who actually kept their partner by the time they found this book. But still I got some useful stuff out of this to hopefully get her back and rebuild trust.

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  • James Conweezie
  • 09-12-2020

best book i have found on the subject!

this book has helped me understand many things and given me hope for the future.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 02-12-2020

Not for me

I suppose the message of the pain I caused with my affair is helpful and useful. It maybe particularly useful for the guy who thinks cheating is just what guys do and who is clueless of the damage done. But for those of us who have hit bottom and likely damaged their primary relationship beyond repair, who may suffer from childhood trauma, sex addiction, or other mental health problems and are genuinely remorseful for their behaviors , working on recovery, and seeking grace, I am not sure piling on the guilt and shame is helpful.

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  • Jessica P.
  • 13-08-2020

I agree with this book 100%

This book explains everything perfect !! When i was listening to it made me feel understood as he described exactly what i'm feeling very well written and to the point . I want to give it to my my boyfriend so he can understand why i feel the way I do. Great Book for anyone going thru this .

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