Not My Father's Son

An extraordinary memoir

Where does Not My Father's Son rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

One of the best ever.

What did you like best about this story?

This is no showbiz memoir, although the revelation that Patti Smith has a tendency to spit had me in stitches. It's a heart-wrenching story of Alan's painful childhood, his fraught relationship with his father, intertwined with the slow unfolding mystery of his grandfather's abandonment of his family after the Second World War and subsequent death in Malaysia. Above all, it's a powerful, honest story and a wholly intriguing yarn, more fascinating than fiction.

Which character – as performed by Alan Cumming – was your favourite?

Alan has a particular talent for bringing to life the women in his family: his mother, the formidable and clearly-adored Mary Darling, and his charming, wickedly funny granny. He has the most beautiful voice, too.

Did you have an emotional reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

It's a deeply emotional story, and I laughed out loud and wept unashamedly in turns.

Any additional comments?

Quite the most astonishing audiobook (or indeed publication of any kind) I've heard in ages. More than anything, one comes out of the experience with deep respect for Alan Cumming as a human being, someone who refused to back down until he had found the truth he needed to begin healing.

18 of 18 people found this review helpful

A heartbreaking, and yet heartwarming story...

This really is an extraordinary book. I should probably start by saying that, if you’re looking for a ‘My Fabulous Life’ type of biography packed with anecdotes of famous chums and exotic locations then keep moving; this is not one of those books. Instead Alan Cumming has taken two key events from his life and, via a series of ‘Then and Now’ sections, begins to see links and parallels between them.

Alan Cumming is asked if he wants to be the subject of one of the BBCs ‘Who Do You Think You Are’ TV shows, in which the BBC delve through a celebrities family history to see if there are any skeletons in cupboards. As it happens Cummings is interested in his maternal grandfather, Tommy Darling, who disappeared after WWII and never came home again, and so he agrees.

But thinking about what the show may discover Cummings is reminded (as if he needs to be) of his traumatic childhood where he lived under the threat of his bullying fathers explosive temper, enduring a constant stream of criticism and sarcasm that nearly always erupted into violent beatings. Try as he does to please his father nothing he does is good enough, and Alan and his brother Tom are constantly reminded of how worthless their father considers them both to be. And so, as the BBC filming progresses and the story of grandfather Tommy Darling unravels, Alan often travels back to his childhood and the key events that help forge the man he is today.

As a parent I found some of these passages very difficult to listen to, especially when the father seems to take pleasure in preventing his sons pursuing any interests they may have. But the worst for me was when Alan retells the story of a particularly savage beating he endured over some minor chore not carried out to his father’s satisfaction. The anger and sadness that wells up when you listen to this story is palpable.

An amazing book, and one that leaves the listener speechless afterward.

Very well done Mr Cumming, dreams can indeed come true…

14 of 14 people found this review helpful

Inspiring!

Where does Not My Father's Son rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

At number 1!

What other book might you compare Not My Father's Son to, and why?

This book is unlike other celebrity autobiographies. The writing is fantastic, the story touching! And the performance brilliant!

Which character – as performed by Alan Cumming – was your favourite?

Alan of course!

If you made a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

Honesty Pays!

Any additional comments?

A very touching story, told brilliantly by the man himself! This book will have you laughing, crying, and taking a step back to look at life properly. A story of: hope, pain, joy, and inspiration.

6 of 6 people found this review helpful

A truly wonderful piece of work

If you could sum up Not My Father's Son in three words, what would they be?

Brave, witty, moving

What was one of the most memorable moments of Not My Father's Son?

Hearing the author read his own work is an intimate experience that makes the work immediately accessible, vital and very moving

Which character – as performed by Alan Cumming – was your favourite?

He performs himself so...?

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Alan remembering his reaction to the news of his Grandfathers death and his constant concern for his mothet

Any additional comments?

There have been many (too many) books about rotten childhoods but this is different, this is a book about an adult experiencing the revelations of his pass and refusing to go under, and finding a way through it...the link he makes between PTSD and abusive childhoods is more ground breaking than Alan realises...despite the subject matter this is a funny, warm and ultimatly triumphant and honest book...I'm sure it will dazzle and help many...so much more than a poor me book. I'd like to shake the authors hand.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

So Very Very Good

Would you consider the audio edition of Not My Father's Son to be better than the print version?

I don't know. I never read the print version.

Who was your favorite character and why?

It was written and narrated by Alan Cumming and is a book I was really glad I listened too.

Which scene did you most enjoy?

I suppose - I don't want to spoil it because if I said which scene it would spoil it.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

The same scene. It was quite amazing and so glad it happened the way it did.

Any additional comments?

What an extraordinary man. He holds nothing back and this isn't a usual celebrity kind of autobiography because he hardly mentions any celebs but it was truly riveting and I have to admit that I heard it in one sitting and started it at around 11.00 pm intending to listen to an hour of it and stayed up all night listening. What a man is all I can say.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

A must read! It explains so much

Would you consider the audio edition of Not My Father's Son to be better than the print version?

I haven't read the print version, but I think I will now

What did you like best about this story?

How Alan has come out the man he is. How all that he went though hasn't damaged him as much as maybe it should have, if you get what I mean!!!! If this hadn't happened I wonder where he would be. if his father didn't abuse him but loved and nurtured him as a father should have.

What about Alan Cumming’s performance did you like?

No other narrator could have done justice to this book!!!!!

Did you have an emotional reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

I cried, swore, sorry!!! I wished his mum had done something, but violence within a home paralyses everyone.

Any additional comments?

I don't normally read biographies. They are normally self serving but this one isn't.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

Excellent memoir

Would you consider the audio edition of Not My Father's Son to be better than the print version?

Oh god yes! Alex Cumming's beautiful voice reading his own story is perfect

What other book might you compare Not My Father's Son to, and why?

Wolf at my table ... Another father and son themed memoir

Which character – as performed by Alan Cumming – was your favourite?

Himself

Did you have an emotional reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

Laugh, cry, smile, worry, everything

Any additional comments?

I couldn't stop listening to this, engrossing, entertaining, heartbreaking and ultimately uplifting. It does what all good memoirs do, shine a light on your own life and experience by sharing the author's personal history.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

A very fitting memoir

Alan Cummings does not spare us any details of his father's cruelty and vindictiveness but this is a tale of triumph and so is ultimately uplifting. In addition there is the fascinating unravelling of the mystery of what happened to Alan's maternal grandfather. People who have viewed Alan's episode of the genealogy programme 'Who Do You Think You Are' will be familiar with the factual backdrop. This book extends this by detailing the emotional impact on Alan and his family as Tommy's tale is revealed.

I like to think that Alan's story this gives proof to the belief that love will always prevail, but whether or not this is true, it certainly shows that it is well worth investing in.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

A must read

Inspiring, moving and in parts a familiar story of children suffering at the hands of someone who should be a loving protector.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

Well worth a read

What a brilliant story. So moving and brilliantly read. Your an inspiration to us all, Alan. Recommending to all my friends.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful