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Ironing Out My Life: Child Abuse and How It Affected Everything Thereafter

Portrait of a Dysfunctional Family

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Ironing Out My Life: Child Abuse and How It Affected Everything Thereafter

By: Kate Russell
Narrated by: Kate Russell
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Summary

Kate Russell's third memoir explores the effects of child abuse. Beginning with her parent's upbringing, chronicling her life, ending in present day, Kate reveals traits, habits and mindsets that developed as the result of early childhood trauma. Long estranged from her abusers, Kate examines choices she made, masks she donned, and the outcome of her efforts through the lens of a survivor in recovery. For anyone who was physically, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually or psychologically abused. Especially those who cope by sweeping their past under the rug.

©2024 Kate Russell (P)2024 Kate Russell Adventurers, Explorers & Survival Women
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I found this book a bit annoying, but maybe that goes back to how I was raised by the adults in my life. The author is triggered so very often and over so little that I am almost afraid to give a honest review in fear of hurting her fragile feelings. I lost count of how many times the words “triggered” and “rabbit hole” was mentioned in this book. Yet it did not seem the author went through too much child abuse aside from being smacked and not being able to get her own way sometimes, which were how nearly all of us were raised last century. Yet the author did get some nice things and some nice memories sometimes, better than many others have had in their childhoods. She certainly is not the only child who had substance using parents either, which she seemed so very angry and damning towards them for, and yet the author went on to also use substances of her own choice for years as well! There are so many who have suffered worse child abuses who have not been affected this strongly, and I think it is a good example of how different abuses can affect different people differently on different levels. It seems she was not given any love, and if affection was shown she was told to believe it wasn’t appropriate. I usually prefer books read/narrated by the author as you can tell exactly how they want sentences to read out and what tones to use. The author however read out the story in a rather monotone way, speaking each word very slowly as if she thought her readers were little children who may not understand, or that she has trouble reading, much similar to how a child would read. This annoyed me most and baffles me, because if she reads lines in scripts this way it could be a reason to why she has not been casted often (Which I did feel very sorry for her about). I am also a little confused to why she felt inclined to act like her parents, when as an actress who has repeatedly taken courses in the field of acting then why couldn’t she choose to act like a better person instead? The author has a huge amount of self awareness all the way through the book which is quite unusual for an abuse survivor to have without a lot of therapy. The author appears to try being a psychiatrist in parts. Towards the end of the book she states she has had therapy, however tells her readers almost nothing about that topic other than having read a book. The author points the finger at her parents egos and how they are to blame for almost every one of her own faults and wrongs, however through doing that i wonder is she not saving her own ego a little? The author however is very courageous in being truthful about how she has mirrored her parents through her adult life. The bitterness, the sarcasm, the selfishness, and the self loathing all shining through strongly in every chapter. Her humour was a little too sarcastic for my tastes. I think if she wanted (instead of all the self pity and being like her father), or allowing the person who her father is influence who she is, she would be better off to set a good example to him and influence him in positive ways. Maybe her god would rather that too, after all isn’t forgiveness preached in the bible? The author is correct about how as adult we choose how we want to behave and who we want to be. Her words to other survivors at the end of her story were thoughtful and very true. I have similar spiritual beliefs and I agree that having those beliefs can give a lot of strength and get you through any hell! There is snippets of wisdom in this book between all the self pity, but I feel I am being kind by giving this book 3 stars, it just did not appeal much to my tastes.

So very triggered

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