In/Out cover art

In/Out

A Scandalous Story of Falling into Love and Out of the Church

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In/Out

By: Steph Lentz
Narrated by: Steph Lentz
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About this listen

In January 2021, Steph Lentz was fired from her job as an English teacher at a Sydney Christian school after she came out as a lesbian.

A hardcore Christian during her teens and twenties, Steph once preached against homosexuality and defended her church’s conservative teachings about marriage and sex – that is, until she fell in love with a woman at her church, and her world turned upside-down. Being honest about her sexuality cost Steph her marriage, her job and her community.

In the midst of ongoing debates about religious freedom and discrimination against LGBTQIA+ people in Australia, Steph’s story is timely and necessary.

At once a gripping recount, a heartfelt apology and a scathing take-down, In/Out charts Steph’s course from inside Christian fundamentalism, out of the closet and into a fuller sense of herself. Questioning what she once believed and bearing witness to the grief that can accompany radical change, her story ultimately attests to the truth, beauty and goodness of reclaiming agency over our own lives.

©2023 Steph Lentz (P)2023 Bolinda Publishing. This audio version produced by arrangement with HarperCollins Publishers Australia Pty Limited. Biographies & Memoirs LGBTQ+ Studies Lesbian Studies Marriage
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In 2021, high school english teacher Steph Lentz was sacked by Covenant, an interdenominational christian school in Sydney, for disclosing that she was a lesbian. Steph was raised Anglican in the highly-conservative Sydney Diocese and became a fundamentalist christian. This memoir is her bumpy journey from committed christian in a heterosexual marriage to agnostic lesbian. 🎧 She narrates the audio herself and does an excellent job of the writing and performing.

As a gay man who was also raised in christian fundamentalism and who also made a very conscious decision to walk away for similar reasons, I could relate to a chunk of Steph’s journey. This is journaling as therapy—it’s brutally candid, it’s messy and it’s raw. Steph details her periodic infatuations with other women, her increasingly dysfunctional marriage, her mental health struggles, her affair, and much, much more. Along the way she examines and dissects the christian fundamentalist views of the Bible, of sexuality, of marriage, and of women’s roles in the church and the home, all of which she says contributed to her mental anguish. The book doesn’t quite know what it wants to be, a very personal journey or theological debate, but it’s incredibly thought-provoking, I couldn’t put it down. Should Steph have shared so much or included as much detail? Maybe not, if some of the people involved are hurt by the revelations. Maybe yes, if it helps other LGTBQIA+ people come to terms with their religious upbringing or it helps them shrug off some of the hateful messaging or it saves a life.

An utterly thought-provoking personal journey!

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I really enjoyed this insight into the workings of religious thinking and fundamentalism, and they psychology of how that gets internalised. But all packaged up in a really absorbing narrative of her journey. Recommend for anyone interested in religion, psychology, social pressure and sexuality.
Probably not recommended for anybody super religious!

Thought provoking and interesting

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Over the last 5 years I have been rethinking what I was taught and believed including about same sex relationships. I appreciated Steph’s openness and honesty.

An insightful read

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Gender identity is important to all of us. We are schooled from a very young age that there are only 2 genders. This view is entrenched in our system of belief by our cultural and religious upbringing. This book challenges this. We have to determine who we are for ourselves.

Some books are really imortant

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Steph is quite brave in her telling of trying to fit with conservative Australian Christian upbringing. The conditionality of love and acceptance leaves so many with deep wounds.

A very important story

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I resonated with so many of Steph’s experiences of leaving Christian fundamentalism.

What a brave recount of such intimate details of her evolution as a person and in her thinking.

Essential reading because the particular experience of lgbtqia+ ppl in church and faith settings can be devastating and those of us outside it need to understand how things must change and our role in that.

It was easy to listen to and well written. I finished it in a day or so.

Essential reading

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The writer could have just quietly left the church and moved on with her life, instead she took the hard road of arguing for her rights and doing the research to back it up. The Sydney Anglican Diocese is well known for its narrow mindedness and this book shows it well, and provides alternative interpretations, in particular noting the mistranslation used in the RSV bible, widely acknowledged by those who are not wed to bigotry. For young Christians this is a book of hope that things can be different, albeit not in evangelical churches. Well written and well read by the author.

A brave storyteller.

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Steph is an excellent writer and easy to listen to, but the story felt like it was missing a lot of self responsibility. It felt like the story was describing bad things happening to her, or doing destructive things while emphasising they were out of her control.

I felt for her husband and she described “him leaving her” (a year into her having an affair) and that they never had significant conversations. Sure, 23 is young to get married but not THAT young especially after being advised against it by an old minister.

I also felt uncomfortable with the naming of specific churches and people, or details that make people easy to guess and remove their privacy.

I hope Steph is able to find peace and continue on her journey to healing.

Interesting but difficult to listen to

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In the spirit of reconciliation, Audible acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.