I’m Not as Well as I Thought I Was cover art

I’m Not as Well as I Thought I Was

The Sunday Times Bestseller

Preview

Get 30 days of Standard free

$8.99/mo after trial ends. Cancel anytime
Try for $0.00
More purchase options

I’m Not as Well as I Thought I Was

By: Ruby Wax
Narrated by: Ruby Wax
Try for $0.00

Auto-renews at $8.99/mo after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for $23.12

Buy Now for $23.12

About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

Dear Reader,

Checking into a mental clinic wasn't exactly on my radar in 2022. Writing about it wasn't either. But here we are.

I spent a lifetime trying to create a 'front' to give everyone the illusion that all is well. It wasn't, and it isn't. Now I look back and I think, 'what the f*ck was that all about?'

I began the book trying to find meaning by going on various, life-changing journeys, I ended up in a mental clinic; obviously things didn't work out the way I expected. This is the story of what happened after the mental car crash . . . From then on, the journey had to turn inward. It turns out I wasn't looking for meaning, I was looking for home.

I'm not a fiction writer. I can't fake it. I could say I rode into the sunset, but life isn't like that unless you're a cowboy. Truth is I'm not as well as I thought I was.

These days, trying to stay sane in a completely chaotic world makes life incredibly difficult. For those readers who are deep in the darkness of mental illness, I hope my book makes you feel less alone.

Take care, love,
Ruby x


'One of the most powerful books of the year' Daily Mail

'Nobody can make the serious funny and the funny serious quite like Ruby.' - Alastair Campbell

'If you buy only one book this year, make it this one.' - Joanna Lumley

'A true tour de force. We're all a little messed up in our own ways, but we should all strive to be as fabulously fearless as Ruby.' - Fearne Cotton

As seen on Channel 5 Castaway

Sunday Times bestseller, May 2023

©2023 Ruby Wax (P)2023 Penguin Audio

Entertainment & Celebrities Mental Health Mood Disorders Personal Development Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Meditation Health

Critic Reviews

An exceptional account on mental health from a true tour de force. We're all a little messed up in our own ways, but we should all strive to be as fabulously fearless as Ruby (Fearne Cotton)
Not only will this book make you feel less alone, it also might just change your life (Scarlett Curtis)
If you buy only one book this year, make it this one. Brilliant, heartbreakingly funny and painful: I couldn't put it down (Joanna Lumley)
Nobody can make the serious funny and the funny serious quite like Ruby. It's why she is so important to the mental-health debate (Alastair Campbell)
One of the most powerful books of the year
An unflinchingly honest account
An open account of the benefits of therapy, particularly cognitive behavioural therapy, can only benefit readers and the book is a firm reminder that everyone can struggle
Follow Wax on the winding road on which she tries to find herself, where you'll encounter many side-splitting laughs, the odd tear and no doubt fragments of yourself along the way
There is no-one as witty, inspiring and frank as Ruby Wax when it comes to mental health - this book provides a brutally honest and thoughtful insight into Wax's journey, including conversations with therapists and the highs and lows of fame
A typically sharp read, full of wit and brutally honest observations
All stars
Most relevant
Ruby Wax has gone through so much in her life. I started following her when she embraced mindfulness & did work with Dr Mark Williams through Oxford University. I knew of her as a performer of course but her vulnerability & sharing her life with depression & the recounting of her life makes me value her presence in my life even more. Ive now bought the physical book! The 2nd part of life really spoke to me, as someone over 70. THANK you Ruby!

Sharing Her Recent Experiences Helped Me! Thank you

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

Ruby Wax gives us a raw and probably honest look into her cerebral journey. It’s one of those books which at various points resonates. I had a lot of relatable moments and even found myself taking notes. Ruby’s reading voice adds authenticity and is highly listenable. I highly recommend this book for anyone with curiosity about their own thinking and how it’s okay to be not okay and it’s more than okay to be you. Thank you Ruby Wax.

Something I needed to hear

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

it gives me hope and left me slightly exhausted, thank you Ruby Wax I love your work

hope

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

This book was very boring and I could not finish it. It was a Waste of money

Did not finish

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

Sorry but I found it a little boring. The performance was fine she was being herself but didn’t help to keep my interest. I bought the book as my friend had mentioned an interview he heard about Rubi’s parents which resonated with me and I wanted to understand her journey and what I could learn from it. I guess maybe my expectations were high for how I would relate but I never really truly got an insight into her trauma maybe I just didn’t rate as well as I thought I would…so maybe my rating is unfair. All the best to Rubi.

Some small insights into Rubi’s early life

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

In the spirit of reconciliation, Audible acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.