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Publisher's Summary

An odyssey of family, heartbreak, violence, punk rock, brokenness, broke-ness, sex, love, loss, drinking, drinking, drinking, and an unlikely savior: distance running.

A misfit kid at the best of times, Mishka Shubaly had his world shattered when, in a 24-hour span in 1992, he survived a mass shooting on his school's campus then learned that his parents were getting divorced. His father, a prominent rocket scientist, abandoned the family, and their home was lost to foreclosure. Shubaly swore to avenge the wrongs against his mother but instead plunged into a magnificently toxic love affair with alcohol.

Almost two decades later, Shubaly's life changed again when a fateful five-mile run after a bar fight inspired him to clean up his life. And when he finally reconnected with his estranged father, he discovered the story of his childhood was radically different from what he thought he knew.

In this fiercely honest, emotional, and self-laceratingly witty book, Shubaly relives his mistakes, misfortunes, and infrequent good decisions: the disastrous events that fractured his life; his incendiary romances; his hot-and-cold career as a rock musician; meeting his newborn nephew while out of his gourd on cough syrup. I Swear I'll Make It Up to You is an apology for choices Shubaly never thought he'd live long enough to regret, a journey so far down the low road that it took him years of running to claw his way back.

©2016 Mishka Shubaly (P)2016 Blackstone Audio, Inc.

What listeners say about I Swear I'll Make It Up to You

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Terrible

Poorly written, self absorbed, garbage. I'm wondering how many books this man is going to write about himself. It is getting comical. Save your money.

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A book abr mistakes, redemption and self discovery

I really enjoyed this book. I've listened to all of Mishka's kindle singles and, while this covers the same territory, it is rarely repetitive. He is brutally honest, never aims to be inspiring but manages it anyway, and is likeable despite himself. I love a memoir read my the author and his voice is just perfect for this, gravely and distinctive.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Jennifer Thurman
  • 18-03-2016

Great book!

I loved this book. It was honest when being honest probably wasn't easy. There was so much I could relate to. I recommend it to anyone who struggles with being a flawed human.

13 people found this helpful

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  • Kristin
  • 20-04-2016

Life changing

This book makes you hope and believe that life can change.... and gives us insight into how to change it.

10 people found this helpful

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  • Bridget
  • 20-03-2017

Horrible

I could not finish it. A very bad story. I am sorry this guy had such a bad life, but I sure don't need to hear it


2 people found this helpful

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  • David
  • 11-10-2016

just eat the bacon

loved it - highly recommend to anybody who enjoys stories of trials, tribulations and overcoming it all in spite of total chaos.

8 people found this helpful

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  • Matthew Coppins
  • 07-09-2016

100% awesome! Excellent book! Amazing narrator!!

There are no words that I can type that will do this book justice. Even the description of this audiobook doesn't come close to describing how much pain, joy, and pleasure is in this story.

8 people found this helpful

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  • Sarah Simoneau
  • 22-08-2016

True Winner

I absolutely love it. I can't wait to read the rest of his work. His raw emotions and depictions of a life lived mirrored so many of my own, yet I could never put the words around it like Subaly has. Thank you Blackstone for believing in him and giving me this opportunity to enjoy this beautiful train wreck of life that I too am so familiar with. Cheers Mishka.

9 people found this helpful

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  • Melster
  • 26-01-2021

Like being buried alive

The authors low heavy voice and dark stories often made me feel like I was being buried alive and I had to take a break with some upbeat music to feel like I could breath again. However I always went back to listening because his story was one worth finishing.

1 person found this helpful

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  • C. Greene
  • 23-10-2020

Worst book I’ve ever read

This book made me angry and gave me anxiety, after getting to chapter 8 I just stopped trying to see if he stopped being so terrible

1 person found this helpful

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  • dewdrop
  • 18-06-2017

didn't ring true

I didn't finish it. It became tedious after I realized I didn't believe the details of the story, the central character/narrative, and I knew where it would end up. It reminded me of a similar autobiography, 'Thousand Little Pieces' - riveting, couldn't put it down...which turned out to be fiction.

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  • JN
  • 27-03-2017

Terrible book, save your money

This is a terrible book. Boring life by a author that thinks he is special because he is a loser

1 person found this helpful

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  • Alistair
  • 08-02-2017

Starts Strong - but eventually the running gets dreary

Mishka writes well and his story is an interesting one... to a point.
The first 2/3rds of the book are great, a fascinating story off one mans war with the world, his father and himself. His childhood and drinking days are fascinating and well told.
But then he starts running. And running. And talking about running. And the book just drags. I hate to say it as I loved Mishka when introduced to him through the Doug Stanhope podcast and he has had an interesting and in places heart breaking life - but I wouldn't recommend this book. The first 2/3rds yes. But I can't bear to finish it and hear any more about long distance running (gave up 1.45hrs remaining)

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  • Guyver3x
  • 26-10-2016

depressing bliss

hard to listen to. as it should be. do it. it's painful and beautiful and terrifying

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 20-10-2021

Unforgettable.

Bravo, Mishka, your writing is sublime. Thank you for an unforgettable read. I will be eagerly devouring all of your work.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 17-06-2018

You gave me emotions, a##hole.

Having just bought this book on a whim after hearing Mishka on the podcast of that oft-named Stanhope's podcast, I didn't know I could love again.

A bad start to a review? Perhaps, but I'm not writing this for you. I'm writing for Shubaly in return for the gift he gave me.

This story isn't a story; it's a 'how-to', it's a 'not-how-to', it's a huge education gone to waste only to be fished out from that same New York garbage pile we've all seen. It's a rare and hopefully honest peek inside the mind and heart of a good boy done bad, then a bad boy doing well.

I didn't understand why your foster brother left but I'm glad you're both found. I don't understand why I hate you for hurting your sister and why I hate you because you still have a sister to love. I don't know why I love your father's eventual honesty and why I love your restraint and in-the-moment patience.

And most of all, I don't know why I love you. This book was a great way of spending a Sunday afternoon; no more so than writing those emails you've been putting off nor fixing that leaky sink you've promised yourself since back when. And the result is similar. The reader feels like they've learned something not only about the new love of my life, but about themselves.

And apart from the royalty checks and that tear you refuse to wipe away and that concentration you put into this book instead of fixing that stupid sink...isn't this what it's all about? Learning not only to love others, but to begin to understand and maybe love ourselves?

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  • Shetland gal
  • 22-08-2017

hateful, wrong and a disgrace

What would have made I Swear I'll Make It Up to You better?

if he hadn't written it. This is an awful book where the author brags and laughs about all the hateful things he has done in his life.

Would you ever listen to anything by Mishka Shubaly again?

Absolutely not.

You didn’t love this book--but did it have any redeeming qualities?

None. I disliked the author's bullying, self righteous tones and although my sympathies go out to him as he lost his mother, it still does not justify his appalling behaviour both as a youngster and as an adult.

Any additional comments?

Don't buy - choose something else. Would like money back on this one - listened to an hour and decided my brain didn't need to hear this sort of garbage.

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