I Need Your Love - Is That True? cover art

I Need Your Love - Is That True?

How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead

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I Need Your Love - Is That True?

By: Byron Katie
Narrated by: Byron Katie
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About this listen

 In Loving What Is, bestselling author Byron Katie introduced thousands of people to her simple and profound method of finding happiness through questioning the mind. Now, I Need Your Love—Is That True? examines a universal, age-old source of anxiety: our relationships with others. In this groundbreaking book, Katie helps you question everything you have been taught to do to gain love and approval. In doing this, you discover how to find genuine love and connection.

The usual advice offered in self-help books and reinforced by our culture advocates a stressful, all-consuming quest for love and approval. We are advised to learn self-marketing and manipulative skills—how to attract, impress, seduce, and often pretend to be something we aren’t. This approach doesn’t work. It leaves millions of walking wounded—those who, having failed to find love or appreciation, blame themselves and conclude that they are unworthy of love.

I Need Your Love—Is That True? helps you illuminate every area in your life where you seem to lack what you long for most—the love of your spouse, the respect of your child, a lover’s tenderness, or the esteem of your boss. Through its penetrating inquiry, you will quickly discover the falseness of the accepted ways of seeking love and approval, and also of the mythology that equates love with need. Using the method in this book, you will inquire into painful beliefs that you’ve based your whole life on—and be delighted to see them evaporate. Katie shows you how unraveling the knots in the search for love, approval, and appreciation brings real love and puts you in charge of your own happiness.


“Everyone agrees that love is wonderful, except when it’s terrible. People spend their whole lives tantalized by love—seeking it, trying to hold on to it, or trying to get over it. Not far behind love, as major preoccupations, come approval and appreciation. From childhood on, most people spend much of their energy in a relentless pursuit of these things, trying out different methods to be noticed, to please, to impress, and to win other people’s love, thinking that’s just the way life is. This effort can become so constant and unquestioned that we barely notice it anymore.

This book takes a close look at what works and what doesn’t in the quest for love and approval. It will help you find a way to be happier in love and more effective in all your relationships. What you learn here will bring fulfillment to all kinds of relationships, including romantic love, dating, marriage, work, and friendship.” —Byron Katie©2005 Byron Katie; (P)2005 Random House, Inc. Random House Audio, a division of Random House, Inc. Communication & Social Skills Marriage & Long-Term Partnerships Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Happiness
All stars
Most relevant
Listening to this book is the best thing you can do for yourself, your family, your friends and humanity.

Truly Life Changing!

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Great for personal growth - excellent examples and feedback - love the process to implement it’s helped me move past blame 💕

Great read

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Byron has an amazing way of looking at things and could help with all the big issues of defensiveness, judgement and forgiveness. Made me want to buy the book. Excellent you down load “the work” tools from the internet!

Could be life changing.

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I will listen again to allow more to sink in. The Work is a wonderful daily tool to use in allowing you to invite peace into your life. As Katie tells, what you do to yourself, you do to others and what you do to others you do to yourself.

I learned so much from this tool

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I get what Byron Katie is saying, just as I understand what she was saying in her other book Loving What Is. I understand the whole thing of giving yourself what you need instead of seeking it from outside sources or accepting things beyond our control. And that is a great message and the enquiry and turn around work fabulously for thoughts like "I need my colleagues to admire me" or "I need my boyfriend to give me more words of affirmation" or whatever.
But I feel like once the book starts straying into cheating and abusive relationships territory, suddenly the enquiry and turnaround starts to look like gaslighting and victim blaming.
So overall, the message is fine but I don't feel it is applicable in every situation, like Byron Katie seems to feel. Perhaps she needs to do "the work" on this philosophy herself:
"this method works for every person in every situation - is that true?"...

Great for some, but for all situations

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