How to Win Friends & Influence People

This is well worth listening too! Main points are.

Here are the main points of the book.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1. Don't criticize.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

✦ Six ways to make people like you
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember a person's name.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

✦ Win people to your way of thinking
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

✦ Be a Leader
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Thanks Ralph

3,690 of 3,756 people found this review helpful

Oldy but a Goody

I read a lot of self help books and find most of them silly, formulaic, and/or unrealistic. This is perhaps the best self help book I have read, and was one of the first of the modern era. The tone is very straightforward and practical with enough detail to be useful but not at all boring. The suggestions seem trivial, yet, as the author points out repeatedly, they are actually unnatural to the vast majority and seldom practiced successful without attention and effort.

This books is dated (referring to contemporary characters that are no longer contemporary and may not be recognized by younger readers) but this does not distract very much from the core message of the book. See Ralph's review for an excellent outline of the suggestions in this book.

This book had leaped to the top of my favorite self help books, which also include Critical Conversations and Stumbling on Happiness. Most other self help books are either intrinsically worthless or subsumed by one of the above.

The narration was just about perfect with a very clear delivery and excellent positive tone without any sappiness.
I highly recommend this book to anyone, particularly young adult readers.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1. Don't criticize.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

✦ Six ways to make people like you
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember a person's name.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

✦ Win people to your way of thinking
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

✦ Be a Leader
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

105 of 109 people found this review helpful

The Reference Manual of Human Relations

The fact that this book was published in 1936 and is still a top seller today says a lot more than I can manage to convey in this review.

The book is filled with sound practical advice. It is probably the best book ever written on human relations. Anyone and everyone should find it to be a valuable guide, whether in personal, family, or business relationships. Despite the title, which some may consider overly aggressive by todays'standards, the practices discussed in the book are in no way manipulative. To the contrary, this book helps you learn the art and skill of conversation and persuasion through attentiveness to, and consideration of others.

This is not a story that you listen to once and get rid of it. It is a reference manual that you will be able to use and refer to for years to come. I own it in hardback, as well as on cassette (remember those?) so I was excited to see a digital version made available from Audible. I bought it immediately and now look forward to being able to enjoy it again and again on my MP3 player.

596 of 639 people found this review helpful

Don't judge by the title

The title doesn't do it justice. I was half expecting some slimeball manual of how to fake being a sympathetic person. On the contrary, this is a classic. Its message is that if you want to do well with people, you'd better become interested and considerate and pleasant to be around. The book tells you how, over and over, with principles and examples and anecdotes.

The book was written in 1936 and listening to the audio version is rather like watching an old black and white movie. It's a little corny nowadays, but in an extremely charming way. I found myself enjoying the politeness of a byegone age and looking forward to the next installment.

After listening once and becoming inspired, I requested a job upgrade, and my boss was smiling as he agreed. Wow! I was so shocked that I think I instantly forgot everything I learned. You bet I'll be coming back to study this one.

288 of 312 people found this review helpful

Living Proof of its Sucess

I was given a copy of this book when I was 17 years old, by my friend "Mad Harry". In it he wrote "Call me when you are Famous". Well I am not famous, but did get to be a director of a large company in my mid 30's, and I have to say, without this book, I doubt if I would have made it. I am known for getting things done with minimum conflict. Listen to this, it is very polite and old fashioned now, but the principles of how to deal with people are every bit as valid as when this wonderful book was written.

So.............

Call me when you are famous!

S

132 of 145 people found this review helpful

Simply wonderful

Sometimes the classics just can't be beat. I took the Dale Carnegie course, and this book was required reading. It completely changed the way I deal with people, and the overall effect is astonishing. After reading the book, you'll be astonished as to how common-sensical the teachings are, but boy do they work.
I've had at least ten occasions over the past year where I had to deal with very difficult people who were bent on starting a fight or argument. When we were finished, in each case the other person heartily apologized for their behavior and thanked me for keeping a cool head about things. Most importantly though, is that I approached each of these encounters with the utmost confidence that I could handle this person, and this situation. I didn't feel even the slightest bit nervous or afraid. To encounter these types of situations feeling calm and confident is a rare gift that I now have. There is no way to put a price tag on that.
I plan to listen to, and read this book many times over my life. The lessons are invaluable. Don't wait another day before learning the secrets contained in this book.

125 of 139 people found this review helpful

The power of appreciation!

This is a great book. It will increase your people skills and teach you to appreciate and be interested in other people. I have read other people skills books and found this one to be the most authentic. I do not want to be "fake" when dealing with people and this book does not teach you to be a flattering liar like some other books I have read. It was what I was looking for to improve my people skills.

24 of 27 people found this review helpful

I should have read this years ago!

If you don't need this book, then chances are you don't talk to people. You do talk to people right? This book is well worth your time, if you don't learn anything from it then you probably have people skills to rival those of Charles Schwab or Abe Lincon.

I had heard about this book for years in various circles, in fact, I was even amused when it was referenced in the game "Baldurs Gate". I knew about it, yet I never took the time to read it. Well, I have now listened to it twice, and it will certanly get a third listening. I can't believe that I got this far in life and was unaware of some of the simple people skills presented in this work. Fortunately, I have done some of them naturally, and some have developed over time as I have grown up - still, had I had this book 20 years ago my life would have been a whole lot easier.

This book is not filled with "tricks" to get people to like you, rather, it is how to develop your own character so that people like you naturally, and you like them naturally as well. No "tricks" involved, but it certanly gives you better insight into the nature of people, and I can testify that it works incredibly well.

97 of 113 people found this review helpful

must read book, for every one

loved it, I will read it again in 2 different languages, it is life changing book, and it started to influence my life

9 of 10 people found this review helpful

Manipulation

What made the experience of listening to How to Win Friends & Influence People the most enjoyable?

The stories throughout the book used as examples are quite entertaining.

Who was your favorite character and why?

The author is the main character and following him in the book makes him automatically my favorite.

What about Andrew MacMillan’s performance did you like?

Mr. MacMillan did a really good job. It seemed to me to be that perfect blend of performance and staying out of the way of the content.

What did you learn from How to Win Friends & Influence People that you would use in your daily life?

Absolutely. This book is chocked full of useful information designed to make life easier,better, and more fulfilling.

Any additional comments?

Mr. Carnegie is really good at what he does. Looking back I noticed that while the book does offer what is promised in the title it is not in my opinion the main punch of the lesson. The content is really more about teaching how to be better to our fellow man. I now see there is a wonderful level of manipulation in just about every aspect of this one. In other words he even manipulated me to pick up this book.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful