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Publisher's Summary

Narcissism is an overwhelming and confusing topic. But when you reveal its mask, you see that it is basically a lie, told to those who are vulnerable.
 

Narcissistic abuse, by nature, is designed to keep you trapped in shame-based vertigo. It doesn’t just go away because you know it exists. Narcissism creates a set of beliefs, behaviors, and paradigms in its target which must be changed from the inside.

How to Kill a Narcissist is a book with two aims:

To reveal the rotten core of the narcissistic personality so you can see it clearly

To present you with an inside-out strategy for healing, recovery and freedom
 

Whether you are dealing with narcissistic parents, husband, wife, friends, bosses, or colleagues, the same philosophy will apply. After listening to How to Kill a Narcissist, you will:

  • Become aware of the damage narcissistic abuse has done to your psyche and how to heal it
  • See how the narcissist uses shame as a weapon to fool you into feeling inferior
  • Understand the playing field which narcissists thrive on and how to stop playing their game
  • Learn how the narcissist uses mind control to break down and rebuild your identity for the purpose of subjugation
  • Gain tools for disarming a narcissist, that is, starving them of their narcissistic supply
  • Have taken a closer look beyond the label of narcissistic personality disorder
     

The audiobook takes an enlightening look at the dynamic between a narcissist and their target. It takes you on a deep journey and describes:

  • The way we unwittingly qualify as targets of narcissists
  • The shame/grandiosity continuum and how the narcissist uses it to crush your self-esteem
  • The law of grandiosity and how it influences our relationships with the self-absorbed
  • The effect that narcissism has on its target, including toxic shame, a dissociated mind, and a weakened ego
  • The obstacles which keep you trapped in a cycle of narcissistic abuse: the psychological cage, love starvation, low shame tolerance, guilt, and conditioning to shamelessness

Using an inside-out approach, How to Kill a Narcissist presents the seven practices for recovery and healing:

  1. Get allies: Boost self-esteem through limbic resonance
  2. Give shape to your true self: Uncover disowned parts of the self and restore wholeness
  3. Skill up: Empower yourself
  4. Flex your muscles: Challenge the psychological cage and come out of hiding
  5. Even the scale: Restore balance to your relationships
  6. Boundaries: Foster a strong sense of self and firmly protect it
  7. Scorched earth: Disengage from those who wish to manipulate you

Each practice is designed to instill you with independence, strength, emotional resilience, and awareness while allowing you to cultivate balanced, loving relationships and pursue a life of passion.

This is the art of killing a narcissist.

©2016 J.H. Simon (P)2019 J.H. Simon

What listeners say about How to Kill a Narcissist

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Profile Image for Holly M.
  • Holly M.
  • 23-01-2020

This book is a bible and instruction manual back to hope, for those who have suffered.

When I read the reviews about this book, how the content was different (more practical applications and more depth of understanding of both narcissist and target, and the roles we both play) from the many dozens of books I’ve already read on emotional abuse, narcissism, and recovery, I had a healthy skepticism. I didn’t quite believe that the information and advice could truly be that much more meaningful and different from all those others that I had read in the category.

I was wrong. This book is everything it has been reviewed to be, and for me- much more. As I always do, I make listening to audiobooks an active experience so that the critical information will sink in and “stay” better. So when poignant moments come up in a book, I always take notes (usually voice to text) and write down nuggets of information, tips that are truly innovative or give me a perspective I had never before considered, and truths that resonate with me so that I can study them and ingrain them into my brain over and over.

This book? It literally had me stopping and rewinding the tape almost every 10 seconds, because I felt the author was delivering one astonishing nugget after nugget after nugget. From beginning to end, it reads as a steady stream of slam dunks, explaining complex concepts more clearly, simply, and powerfully than I knew was possible, or that there was even a way to articulate. Truly exceptional insights. This book is NOT “same same but different”.

This author has done a great service to anyone who has suffered at the hands of a narcissist, and would now like *clear instructions* on how to heal themselves on the inside after years of trying; years of struggling to rebuild, protect themselves, or deal with their narcissist’s ongoing drama.

Do yourself a favor and read this book! I did in 24 hours, and I am positive I will be listening to it again several times. Starting now.

10 people found this helpful

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  • Maui2009
  • 29-02-2020

SERIOUSLY THE BEST BOOK ON NARCISSISM!

I’ve read a lot of books on Narcissism but this is hands down the best so far. I’m dealing with a malignant narcissist (husband) and I’ve already practiced some things I learned here and it was very effective. I thought I’d leaned everything there was to know but i was shocked to learn lots of new things. I paused to take notes on nearly every chapter & I’ll be reading this again and again. Extremely powerful...Highly recommend.

7 people found this helpful

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  • Sharon E Marta
  • 12-01-2020

Eye-opening, insightful, everyone needs to read this book

As a child who grew up under a narcissist I wish I had this book years ago. This book was very eye-opening to the narcissist in our every day lives. It made me realize that the reason one of my clients was so hard to work with and gave me anxiety was because they had narcissist behavior. I immediately decided to no longer take work from them and it’s all weight that has lifted from me. Everyone needs this book to safeguard themselves from the emotional drainage of narcissists.

6 people found this helpful

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  • Karen Stafford
  • 31-01-2020

Leaving a narc, this is a must read.

This helps to see why you experienced what you did. Why after leaving you have some of the reactions that you do. Very enlightening as to handling triggers and why you have them. I'm going to wear this book out, I want to retain so much of it so going thru it a 2nd time.

5 people found this helpful

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  • Bjorg M.
  • 23-04-2021

Good but monotonous

The material is good but the narrator is so monotonous. His voice reminded me of a Ben stein like college professor and I found it difficult to not let my thoughts be pulled elsewhere. If you can get through the feeling of a college lecture it’s okay, but I wouldn’t carry on raving about it.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Online Shopper
  • 25-10-2020

I wish I had listened to this years ago!

I've listened to several books about narcissism since dating a narcissist and this is one of my favorites. The most helpful sections for me explained how certain personality traits make us vulnerable to narcissists and the importance of boundaries. I happily went "no contact" a long time ago, but this book answered my question, "WHY IN THE WORLD DID I PUT UP WITH THAT?!

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  • Jason Daniels
  • 07-04-2021

Very Helpful

While the book isn’t perfect, I’ve found it toward the top of books on this topic in that it helps keep the issues in my relationship in perspective. I have been listening in a loop to remind myself that there IS a serious problem and the it’s NOT mine to solve. Highly recommended.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Margaret L.
  • 31-03-2021

Exact

This book defined my relationship as if he spent every day with my spouse and I. He defined and understood every emotion I have had that I could not or am too embarrassed to share with those close to me.

1 person found this helpful

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  • All Dolled Up
  • 23-02-2020

informative

it was okay and informative but I'm not thoroughly impressed. I didn't get any new information like I was promised.

1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Stef
  • 08-06-2021

After many reads, I choose this one.

I read this straight thru and I recommend it highly. I hope to get the other book by J.H Simon soon.

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  • Fay
  • 14-03-2021

Incredibile book

The best book I have ever read so far in my 15 years’ journey of self development . I could not stop listening to it and finished it in one day .Very easy to follow and full of practical steps . Please do not go anywhere, this is what you need if you are struggling with your life and not knowing what is wrong . You will find your answers here and you will learn how to be strong , empowered and authentic again .

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  • Bex
  • 23-10-2020

Absolutely spot on!

I listened to this book on the edge of my seat, it was as though he was talking about the exact issues with the narcissistic people I have in my life. I thought it was me but now I see what’s going on and what to do about it! This book will be quite enlightening for some!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Rachel Jenkins
  • 09-09-2020

Helps you re align your ability to think straight

Good insight into how some people operate. How they try to flip reality and distort the truth. Brings you to reflect on past experiences where you doubted yourself. Helps you keep grounded when the narcissist tries to unhinge you with mind games.

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 21-04-2021

useful info, explained a few things. was ok

It was ok, some useful insights, but i wasn't convinced by the narrator, a little robotic perhaps. But an easy listen in the end. I feel i know more on how to move forward

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  • Geoff
  • 07-04-2021

great book

I loved this book . It makes sense and makes you think . If you are involved with a narcissist you need this !

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  • Sandra Adolphe
  • 18-02-2021

Mind blowing

This book has opened my eyes to past and present experiences. I am currently dealing with narcissist, I had no idea. I have known the person for 5yrs. I knew there was something not right from the beginning. I had no tools to deal with it. Now I have. Thank You

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