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  • Hold On to Your Kids

  • Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers
  • By: Gabor Maté, Gordon Neufeld
  • Narrated by: Gabor Maté
  • Length: 13 hrs and 42 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (153 ratings)

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Hold On to Your Kids

By: Gabor Maté, Gordon Neufeld
Narrated by: Gabor Maté
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Publisher's Summary

Brought to you by Penguin.

Children take their lead from their friends: being 'cool' matters more than anything else. Shaping values, identity and codes of behaviour, peer groups are often far more influential than parents.

But this situation is far from natural, and it can be dangerous - it undermines family cohesion, interferes with healthy development and fosters a hostile and sexualised youth culture. Children end up becoming conformist, anxious and alienated.

In Hold on to Your Kids, acclaimed physician and best-selling author Gabor Maté joins forces with Gordon Neufeld, a psychologist with a reputation for penetrating to the heart of complex parenting. Together they pinpoint the causes of this breakdown and offer practical advice on how to 'reattach' to sons and daughters, establish the hierarchy at home, make children feel safe and understood, and earn back your children's loyalty and love. This updated edition also addresses the unprecedented parenting challenges posed by the rise of digital devices and social media.

By helping to reawaken our instincts, Maté and Neufeld empower parents to be what nature intended: a true source of contact, security and warmth for their children.

©2020 Dr Gabor Maté (P)2020 Penguin Audio

What listeners say about Hold On to Your Kids

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If only I’d read this earlier

This book is spot on. I reflected my own life and realise how much connection was missing. I don’t want this to happen to my kids. Thank you Gabor thank you Gordon.

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8 people found this helpful

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a must read for every parent and person

a must read for every parent and person! esp those who have experienced some levels of trauma or have had disrupted upbringings

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2 people found this helpful

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Mandatory for anyone with a child - teen or not

This is an essential book for anyone with children. It gave me a vocabulary an articulated understanding of what happens , has happened and how I as a parent can reconnect with my child.
If you care about your child - listen to this.
Any Gabor Maté is worth while enhancing your life with, this is 100% necessary as a parent or person who cares for a growing child / adolescent/ teen.

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2 people found this helpful

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Insightful and alarming

This book has explained so many questions that my husband and I are facing while raising my son. I wished I had read (listen) it earlier because my son has already drifted towards peer orientation path, however as the author said it’s never too late to collect our child and reestablish our parenting connection and power. This book is extremely essential for any parents in this digital and peer orientation age.

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2 people found this helpful

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Amazing!

Great, book with powerful insights. Thank you both for your amazing work. it has chaged the way I vewi attachment.

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New approaches to parenting based on needs and connection

The information unload felt pretty long and arduous at first but, by the end of the book, it all makes sense and is worth the effort!

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Excellent book

A book every parent should read ! Contains Very important insight. Well written and articulated and well presented.

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Insightful and important

Possibly the most important parenting book I’ve read. Have already recommended it and will continue to do so.

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  • Lee
  • 16-09-2023

Wish I’d read this years ago

As another review said, every word rings true. I’d recommend reading this to anyone involved in any child’s formative years in any way, actually just everyone would benefit from this- it explains a lot about our early selves as well ! It really showed me I can trust my intuition from years ago that was eroded from all the child discipline/management books etc around that made me second guess myself. I found the scientific backed, evidence based explanations of child development and behaviours- good and bad, and therefore what would and wouldn’t work, as well as what’s important and what’s not and why, motivating, empowering and affirming. I feel like there is hope and I have a plan with the tools nature intended!

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Every word rings true

Thank you Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate!
Brilliant work! This is a must read for every parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher and anyone who plays a role in the life of a child.

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