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Hold Me Under cover art

Hold Me Under

By: Riley Nash
Narrated by: J.F. Harding, Stephen Dexter
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Publisher's Summary

Love is cheap. Love is cruel. Love can’t save us.

Victor Lang had everything—looks, money, fame. A chance to become the greatest swimmer in history. Until a failed dope test brought him crashing down.

According to the rumors, he turned into a recluse, a drug addict, a whore. Broken beyond repair. Incapable of love.

And for some reason, he’s set his sights on me.

A freak accident in his pool throws me into a world of wealth and status and people who are willing to do anything to get what they want. Before I know it, I’m being paid to fly to Italy and pose as his boyfriend. Trapped at his side, I learn what it means to truly hate someone.

Turns out, that’s exactly what he wants.

I can’t save him, and I can’t love him. But as things fall apart and I discover the truths he’s hiding, I learn that hate can be greater than love—an obsession, a prayer, dark days and darker nights, a need to be the only one who hurts him. Hate can heal the worst wounds love leaves behind.

But I have problems of my own, a broken spirit and loved ones to protect. And I’m scared to face the things he’s waking up inside of me.

A gritty, emotional, epic hate-to-love slow burn with an inexperienced top and his bratty bottom, hurt/comfort, obsession, and healing.

Contains dark themes, adult content, and potential triggers, though every effort was made to portray them thoughtfully and sensitively.

Specific triggers (potential spoilers): sexual abuse (off the page), suicidal ideation, drug abuse, disordered eating, trauma, death, mental illness, homophobic language

©2022 Riley Nash (P)2022 Riley Nash

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  • 12-11-2023

Wow! A beautiful emotional tearjerker!

Such a great book, so well written. It does come with a trigger warning for abuse, but is only a small retelling scene of the actual events that happened (in the past). What this book mainly deals with is the heart wrenching emotional and mental fall out of dealing with the trauma of abuse, even years after - deep mistrust, feeling overwhelmed /helpless, wanting to escape to safe spaces, difficulties in accepting possibilities of relationships when you’ve been talked down to, being used to wearing a mask in public etc. Particularly when this sweet, exceptionally talented swimmer was abused by someone who was in a trusted position of authority; with a family that were too concerned with a scandal then to provide support.
Our second MC is also dealing with his own demons of a loss of a close family member (in the past) and trying to support his mother with dementia.
This a beautiful retelling by both narrators and emotions were felt to the core. Particular shout out to J.F.Harding who did a phenomenal job conveying the emotions and inner turmoils of Victor, that took you on the ride of the highs and lows of emotions, from sass and smiles to utter raw vulnerability - so so talented. Completed with an unconventional HEA where both characters are each other’s rock, and both draw strength from each other in their times of need. I’m glad they found each other.
Highly recommend!

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trauma and prejudice

Hold Me Under by riley nash. Victor and Ethan were made for each other, but their own trauma and prejudice held them back from what they eventually worked out.
I could happily read this book again and again as it was just an awesome story

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