• The Gaslight Effect

  • How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life
  • By: Dr. Robin Stern
  • Narrated by: Nan Mcnamara
  • Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Release date: 09-01-2018
  • Language: English
  • Publisher: Random House Audio
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (2 ratings)

Regular price: $41.01

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Publisher's Summary

Are You Being Gaslighted? 

Check for these telltale signs: 

  • You constantly second-guess yourself. 
  • You wonder, "Am I being too sensitive?" a dozen times a day. 
  • You wonder frequently if you are a "good enough" girlfriend/wife/employee/friend/daughter. 
  • You have trouble making simple decisions. 
  • You think twice before bringing up innocent topics of conversation. 
  • You frequently make excuses for your partner's behavior to friends and family. 
  • Before your partner comes home from work, you run through a checklist in your head to anticipate anything you might have done wrong that day. 
  • You buy clothes for yourself, furnishings for your apartment, or other personal purchases thinking about what your partner would like instead of what would make you feel great. 
  • You actually start to enjoy the constant criticism, because you think, "What doesn't kill me will make me stronger." 
  • You start speaking to your husband through his secretary so you don't have to tell him things you're afraid might upset him. 
  • You start lying to avoid the put-downs and reality twists. 
  • You feel as though you can't do anything right. 
  • You frequently wonder if you're good enough for your lover. 
  • Your kids start trying to protect you from being humiliated by your partner. 
  • You feel hopeless and joyless. 

Your husband crosses the line in his flirtations with another woman at a dinner party. When you confront him, he asks you to stop being insecure and controlling. After a long argument, you apologize for giving him a hard time. 

Your boss backed you on a project when you met privately in his office, and you went full steam ahead. But at a large gathering of staff - including yours - he suddenly changes his tune and publicly criticizes your poor judgment. When you tell him your concerns for how this will affect your authority, he tells you that the project was ill-conceived and you'll have to be more careful in the future. You begin to question your competence. 

Your mother belittles your clothes, your job, your friends, and your boyfriend. But instead of fighting back as your friends encourage you to do, you tell them that your mother is often right and that a mature person should be able to take a little criticism. 

If you think things like this can't happen to you, think again. Gaslighting is when someone wants you to do what you know you shouldn't and to believe the unbelievable. It can happen to you and it probably already has. 

©2007 Dr. Robin Stern (P)2018 Random House Audio

Critic Reviews

"Compassionate and honest in equal parts, The Gaslight Effect is like a sturdy, truth-telling friend in difficult times. Robin Stern will show you you're not alone in your toxic relationship, and she'll also help you identify your role and how to change - and be a stronger, wiser person as a result." (Rachel Simmons, best-selling author of Odd Girl Out)
"An essential survival tool. In a clear, comforting, and sophisticated voice, therapist Robin Stern takes her psychologically abused readers on a step-by-step journey that will help them take control of their lives and their destinies." (Phyllis Chesler, PhD, author of Woman's Inhumanity To Woman)

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Jk
  • 28-03-2018

Political stuff... really?

I didn’t get this book to listen about the “gaslighting” of the Trump administration. Just irritated me.

6 of 9 people found this review helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Derek Mosley
  • 20-05-2018

Want my money back.

Honestly thought it was terrible and would like a credit to my account. Bashed men and setup unrealistic expectations. Seemed as if the author had a zero tolerance policy of criticism with men. She also dropped the bomb exposing the truth that women do love drama and find it more interesting in a relationship. So no matter what men do, the drama filled relationship makes a bumpy landing but lands nonetheless.

0 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 20-04-2018

A guiding light in the darkness confusion caused by gaslighting

This book is essential reading for anyone who has been, or is, in an emotionally abusive relationship. In fact it would be helpful for anyone to read as anyone can be sucked into a psychologically abusive relationship as they start so subtly you don’t realise it’s happening until it’s too late. But this book makes sense of it all - how it happens and what to do about it!
Thank you for writing this book.