Try free for 30 days

1 credit a month to use on any title, yours to keep (you’ll use your first credit on this title).
Stream or download thousands of included titles.
Access to exclusive deals and discounts.
$16.45 a month after 30 day trial. Cancel anytime.
I Only Say This Because I Love You cover art

I Only Say This Because I Love You

By: Deborah Tannen
Narrated by: Deborah Tannen
Try for $0.00

$16.45 per month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for $16.99

Buy Now for $16.99

Pay using voucher balance (if applicable) then card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions Of Use and Privacy Notice and authorise Audible to charge your designated credit card or another available credit card on file.

Publisher's Summary

Why does talk in families so often go in circles, leaving us tied up in knots? Linguist Deborah Tannen reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic - even when we're all adults.

Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages - unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said.

Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen explores what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening audiobook explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers - and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.

©2001 Deborah Tannen, All Rights Reserved (P)17 4; 2001 Simon & Schuster Inc., All Rights Reserved

Critic Reviews

"Tannen's conversational style belies her academic roots and makes her sound like family." (AudioFile)

What listeners say about I Only Say This Because I Love You

Average Customer Ratings

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

In the spirit of reconciliation, Audible acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.