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  • Calm Parents, Happy Kids

  • The Secrets of Stress-Free Parenting
  • By: Dr Laura Markham
  • Narrated by: Xe Sands
  • Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (196 ratings)

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Calm Parents, Happy Kids

By: Dr Laura Markham
Narrated by: Xe Sands
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Publisher's Summary

Most parenting books focus on changing a child's behaviour, but the truth is that children only change when their relationship with their parents changes.

In Calm Parents, Happy Kids, Dr Laura Markham introduces an approach to parenting that eliminates threats, power struggles and manipulation, in favour of setting limits with empathy and communication.

Bringing together the latest research in brain development with a focus on emotional awareness (for both parents and children), it will appeal to all parents who don’t want to force their children into compliance and lose their temper, but want to keep calm and help their children want to behave.

©2014 Laura Markham, PhD (P)2014 Tantor Audio, Random House Audiobooks

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    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Good principles but bad practical advice

The underlying messages of this book I believe are sound however the practical examples the author advises you to take are horribly wrong. I quote a section from Chapter 6 where the scenario is a small toddler has thrown their bowl of cereal all over the floor. The author describes the underlying reasons for the child doing this, such as jealousy of another sibling, wanting the full parent's attention, anger or frustration and the parent should, instead of shouting at the child, identify the real reason for the action (which makes sense). However after this the author then states that you should pick the child up and play with him/her, showering him/her with kisses and affection, thus rewarding the child for unacceptable behaviour. There author doesn't seem to believe in any form of discipline, but rather using affection to 'overpower' any undesired feelings of the child. I disagree with this entirely. Yes, a parent should identify the real reason behind the actions of their child and not just resort with anger and shouting - but rewarding negative behaviour is just something I won't be doing.

I looked at this book as a follow on from John Medina's Brain Rules for Baby and am still struggling to find something that is as good!

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22 people found this helpful

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eye opening view for a parent

loved it, narrator had great character and exclamation of all the right parts.
the information provided was life changing for my interaction with my 3 daughters

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3 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars

A great parenting book!

this is a book every parent should read. I highly recommend it. great content and very pleasant narration.

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3 people found this helpful

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I wish my parents had this book

I came across this book at just the right time for my family. It coached me through my 5 year old’s outbursts and gave me strategies to address his tendency to throw objects when overwhelmed. It provided the evidence we needed to overcome parental disagreement about our different styles so we could have a discussion about what we wanted for our children and how best to parent them so that our childhood experiences are not repeated. It’s primarily for parents of 0-9 year olds and an investment in martial and familial harmony.

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2 people found this helpful

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My favourite author and book on parenting

Every point and idea resonated with me and has helped me become a better and calm parent with higher EQ. It helped me reflect on my own childhood (authoritarian leading to chronic anxiety), and understand and correct my ideas on parenting (lacking adequate limit setting as I was trying to avoid my parents’ overly controlling style) and even clarified healthy relationships. One view that has become very clear to me thanks to the book is that all forms of punishment is just bad. I strongly feel no one should be punishing another even if it’s just emotionally regardless of the type of relationship (parent/spouse etc).

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2 people found this helpful

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life changing. exceptional. A must read!

this book should be played to every new parent!!! It honestly explains parenting in a light that just makes sense. Raising a child is enjoyable if we change our thinking, and put forth a little effort.

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2 people found this helpful

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Jam packed full of gold

As a parenting educator it feels like this book is all we need to talk with our parents about! So many great examples while always empowering the parent at the centre.

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1 person found this helpful

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Recommend this book for everyone!

I wish I had listened to this book sooner! My boys are 5&7yrs old and I wished I had this books insight into parenting especially into early development of babies and how to connect. Unfortunately I was a nervous knee mother who didn’t trust my instincts and listened to other too much and have my 7 year old struggle with separation issues.
Really enjoyed this books tips and advice for coaching and guiding our children, not controlling.
Thank you.

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  • Kat
  • 23-05-2022

Wise, pragmatic, and easily digested book.

I'm a new parent (daughter just turned 1). I've listened to a lot of parenting books in the past 12 months. This is one of the best in my opinion. It contains concise content, scientifically informed and warmly written. There are lots of practical strategies to use to raise happy kids, and remain peaceful and keep a positive perspective as a parent. My child is never the enemy though my brain can fool me to think it when I'm stressing, and my own anxieties only hinder her natural move to explore and gain mastery. The emphasis on emotionally connecting with my child, managing my own emotional responses as a parent and helping my child do the same, I agree with the author, provide a positive parenting framework. It challenged me to question my own assumptions about what is helpful for raising kids, and reflect on how my own past influences the way I relate to my child for better or worse. I have lots of things to reflect on and put into practice from this listening. Thank you to the author, for writing and the reader for reading this book!

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Brilliant!

So, so helpful! Really gives you insight on how to parent better. Thanks for calming me.

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