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Harriet Lerner on Mothers and Daughters

Breaking the Patterns That Keep You Stuck
Narrated by: Harriet Lerner PhD
Length: 1 hr and 28 mins
5 out of 5 stars (6 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Before a woman is anything else, she is a daughter. Her relationship with her mother anchors every other relationship in her life. Yet as an adult she may still blame her mother, try to change her, or fail to speak out about issues that matter. Harriet Lerner on Mothers and Daughters is a personal conversation for every woman who seeks to better understand the mystery of the mother-daughter bond. Dr. Lerner illustrates why our mothers inevitably disappoint us, and why it is so hard to stay connected - and stay ourselves - when differences arise. With specific skills and guidelines for changing the patterns that keep us stuck, Harriet Lerner on Mothers and Daughters represents this esteemed psychologist's most complete work on the central relationship in the emotional lives of women.

©2009 Harriet Lerner (P)2009 Harriet Lerner

What listeners say about Harriet Lerner on Mothers and Daughters

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Profile Image for J. F. Stevens
  • J. F. Stevens
  • 21-10-2019

Don’t bother if your mom has profound issues

This is a great way to get perspective and help humanize your mother if she’s slightly dysfunctional, has some garden-variety depression or anxiety, has a pattern of employing the old victim/bully/hero triangle but for a mom who is truly an serious abuser or soul-destroying life and relationship ruiner, gathering facts about her life and employing empathetic communication techniques may be a terrible idea.

7 people found this helpful

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  • Meredith
  • 15-07-2016

Good but short

The content was good but way too short. I was shocked it ended so soon. I had been enjoying the book and was eager to listen to more when suddenly it was over.

3 people found this helpful

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  • sandyjgrant
  • 13-12-2019

insightful and compassionate

great insight into motherhood and how society's expectations affect women. very compassionate words for those who do not understand where frustration is coming from.

2 people found this helpful

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  • A.Shopaholic
  • 13-03-2019

A must have as a participant and guide!

Such a beautiful depiction of such an intricately necessary and delicately personal relationship between women.

1 person found this helpful

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  • dina rosin
  • 11-02-2019

Mothers and Daughters

Very insightful book all women need to hear.
It clarifies so much of what is at the core of the problems we have as mothers or daughters .
She spoke very well about distancing, differentiation and how to grow closer relationships within the family .
I really enjoyed it but was sad to see it end ! Too short .

1 person found this helpful

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  • Dr. loLafolana
  • 27-01-2019

Useful Application of Family Systems Theory

Bowen Family Systems theory, feminist theory. and other major principles are represented as the author guides listeners in examining the impact our relationships with our mothers has on our lives.
Generally helpful examples are provided, and the author takes the position of experienced therapist, mentor, and fellow journeyman.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Nohemi E. Weekley
  • 13-10-2018

interesting

This short book summarizes the importance of differentiation in a mother-daughter relationship. It explains why being able to accept differences in others begings with accepting the differences between mother and daughter and maintaining a dialogue.

1 person found this helpful

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  • @_flourishly
  • 17-10-2017

That was some much needed perspective

I'll come back to this lecture again and again. She offers some profound and relieving perspective that I'll want to hear a few times over to take in more fully.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Carole Michael
  • 19-07-2020

Perfect for this mother dealing with adult angry, resentful daughter

Thank you so much for your audio tape. Yes your message resonated with me. Yes, you hit on some painful family matters. I am 70 and my
daughter is 41. Listening to your tape, I realize how very very long
and difficult reconciliation between us will be. She strikes at me like
a snake, I strike back, and then she disappears. I am in therapy for my
angry responses. I am tough, I can take whatever she will say to me.
I just wish she would talk, before I leave this world. I love her dearly.

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  • Cool Mom
  • 13-06-2020

Wish there were more tangible ideas to improve relationships

This book did give me a few things to think about when evaluating my relationship with my mother. Aside from being objective and putting myself in her shoes (I’m oversimplifying), there’s not as much here to work with as I’d like. I enjoy Dr. Lerner’s work; I just wish I could get more specific ways to address things, including navigating difficult conversations.