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Guards! Guards!
- Narrated by: Nigel Planer
- Series: Discworld, Book 8, Discworld: Ankh-Morpork City Watch, Book 1
- Length: 10 hrs and 8 mins
- Categories: Science Fiction & Fantasy, Fantasy
Non-member price: $39.50
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On a hot midsummer night in Discworld, everything seems perfect - crop circles are turning up everywhere, the witch Magrat Garlick is getting married the next morning, and everyone's buzzing with excitement. Unfortunately, the Lancre All-Comers Morris Team has gotten drunk on a fairy mound, and the elves have returned with the traditional traits of the magical realm of Fairie: evil, malice, murder, cruelty, and kidnapping.
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Publisher's Summary
If you find yourself ruminating on questions like "Where have all the dragons gone?" then this is the story for you. Explore the crazy, creepy land called Discworld, where you'll discover that the dragons aren't asleep or dead - they're dormant, packed in like huge, scaly sardines. Join in the search for the key to their closed-in, comatose world in this eighth fantastical Discworld novel.
Please note: This is a vintage recording. The audio quality may not be up to modern day standards.
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What listeners say about Guards! Guards!
Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 25-05-2019
A great read and a great listen.
Nigel Palner is perfect for Terry Pratchets disc world books. You can even hear 'Neil' from the Young Ones.
1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mr Alan M Kohn
- 15-06-2017
Captain Vimes vs the dragon
a great way to hear the story of Captain Vimes and the men of the nightwatch saving their city from the dragon
1 person found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 17-01-2021
great story, voice acting off
I love this book but Nigel's vetinari voice and even his vimes voice annoy me
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 12-12-2020
Terry Pratchett is the best
Well written and performed, it's funny and thought provoking. I'd recommend it to any first timers to Discworld
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Elea Gundrum
- 25-08-2020
great story, average performance
Terry Pratchett is always brilliant and funny. The performance was easy to follow with good separation of characters but not how I imagined the voices or inflections when reading the books. still very entertaining!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 20-08-2020
Sooo good! Unpredictable and hilarious
Love the different voices for each character. I am in love with Lady Sybil Ramkin.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Stephen Honeywill
- 05-07-2020
Terry Brooks
Loved every minute of it classic series of his. definitely worth a read. great book
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Gastronomix
- 15-05-2020
Huge Pratchett fans, but this needs re-recording
I'll start by saying we're massive Pratchett fans and own all the books; we've recently started getting the audiobooks as something to listen to with the family and as an alternative way of experiencing the stories. Unfortunately, the quality of both the narration and audio itself varies greatly from book to book and the only way to be sure of what you're getting is to listen to the whole thing. In this case, while the sound quality is mostly fine, listening to Nigel Planer is absolutely excruciating. I'm aware of who he is, I've seen him in so many things all the way back to The Young Ones, but the Pratchett books are being massacred by him and are so far from his best work. Stephen Briggs & Michael Fenton Stevens have both done really good jobs on quite a number of the books, and it would be a wise idea to get someone in to re-record all the one narrated by Planer (and there are many). Overall I would not recommend, which is a real shame as the book is a joy.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- LN
- 05-05-2020
Enjoyed this classic
I found it a little predictable in the beginning but came to like the characters and their quirks. The narrator really gave life to each character's voice.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- walteredstates
- 12-11-2019
still great
I've read 'Guards! Guards!' about 25 years ago, in my 20's, a long with every other discworld i could find, and loved it/ them all. Now I've gotten the audiobook to listen to with my son. I think it's even better. Pratchett's story holds up entirely, and the narrator just lifts it up another notch. I thoroughly enjoyed it and so did my 12y.o. son.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jacobus
- 28-12-2009
A continuous joy
There are very few books that deserve to be revised. Guards Guards, the first of the Night Watch Discworld novels is one of these few. With the classic performance of Nigel Planer it felt like bounching into an old and beloved friend with whom one has lost contact many years ago. Planer's voice and the late Sir Terry Pratchett's "serious" humour still makes an excellent escape from the rush and turmoil of everyday life. This audiobook is a golden oldie to be revisited every once and again.
6 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- BlueRoo2
- 07-09-2016
What great fun !
Where does Guards! Guards! rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
It is definitely one of the better books. It rolls along with the occasional laugh out loud segment and frequent guffaws.
Who was your favorite character and why?
Its hard not to like all the characters. Pratchett develops his characters as if they were real people. I do like Sam Vimes though. He's an interesting mix of the alcoholic veteran and the suddenly energetic action hero - surprising himself as much as the reader.
What does Nigel Planer bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
Inflection, accents and delivery pace all bring the characters to life and the events are vested with excitement you might not discover just reading it yourself. There are very few readers I think I'd trust with a Discworld book and Nigel is great.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
Not especially. This is a light tale that gallops along exuding fun, humour and wrapped around a cracking good story.
Any additional comments?
Yes. As much as I admire Nigel Planer, I do wish the voice he used for Sam Vimes had suited the character a little better. The voice is a little nasal and somewhat dull. Vimes is many things but he's certainly not stupid.
1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- truls h.
- 02-11-2020
Great stuff!
as engaging and hilarious as it was the first time I read it in comic formate as a teenager 15 years ago! Before I'd even heard of the Disckworld saga.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Lyndel
- 19-10-2020
MOST WONDERFUL ❤️ LISTENING
Lily Melbourne, Australia Read Pratchett's book years ago, BUT LISTENING WAS A JOY Nigel Planner turned a great book into a brilliant, witty utterly Magical with lines so funny you'll laugh out loud like we did. The entire Disk World series is for the whole family to enjoy as well as personal Enjoyment. "Guard's Guards" is the first of Captain Sam Vimes series within the Ank Morpork group of the Diskworld. AND HERE BE DRAGONS INDEED !!! Meet Sgt Colon, Lance Constable Carrot the 6' dwarf and Corporal Nobby Knobs the only citizen with a HUMAN certification lead by Captain Vimes defeat the firebreathing dragon that's been conjured up from a magical book stolen by a devious malicious self appointed "Supreme Leader" of the four below average cowel cloaked participants..... British writing of fantasy and humour excellence, you won't be disappointed.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Henri
- 11-08-2020
A must read
I can not imagine who I wouldn't suggest this book to unless ypu do not like fiction, a hilarious but great book that is metery the first in it's spectacular series of City Watch books
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 10-08-2020
My favorite book.
It's my favorite book, so sue me. I know Pratchett has written better books, Fifth Elephant, Nights Watch, Hat Full of Sky, Jingo, Small Gods, Making Money. But Guards! Guards! is still my favorite.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 21-07-2020
kids and adults both enjoy
Simple story easy for kids to understand and enjoy. Humor with some moral nuggets (a spoonful of humor helps the moral medicine go down).
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 09-07-2020
Absolutely phenomenal writing
Loved the descriptions. Amazing humor that makes me burst out laughing on regular bases. Narator nails the presentation.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jonas Blomberg Ghini
- 09-01-2020
Great fun!
The style is noticeably different from The Colour of Magic; Guards! Guards! is a bit darker, and less in your face about subversion of tropes. It also has some decently dark commentary on humanity towards the end. The story is thoroughly entertaining, and the narration is great. Note that there are a few spots where the audio does odd things, I think only three, maybe four places one word disappeared. No big issue. Well worth the time and money, and I will certainly get the rest, to find out what happens to Carrot, Nobby, Vimes, Colon, and the orangutan librarian.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Matthew
- 26-01-2019
Most excellent!
Very good story and characters, and Pratchett’s humor is very intelligent and witty. 10 out of 10!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- mollyeyre
- 08-07-2013
Eminently Re-readable
I love the characters in Terry Pratchett's books, Lady Sybil is wonderful - I imagine her like a ship in full sail, although each of the Discworld novels follow on from eachother, they are equally brilliant as 'stand alone' stories. I do feel strongly that Terry Pratchett is a brilliant man, and that his humour is intelligent and pokes fun at the stupidities of our human race!
10 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 22-05-2014
Warning! Do not listen in public!
Would you listen to Guards! Guards! again? Why?
Time and time again. It always makes me laugh out loud, something always takes me by surprise.
Who was your favorite character and why?
Corporal Nobbs, disqualified from the human race for shoving... or is it Lance Constable Carrot the 6 foot dwarf, a picture of innocence, or ... there are just too many to choose from.
Have you listened to any of Nigel Planer’s other performances? How does this one compare?
No, but I will do now.
If you made a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?
Sorry don't do this - read books instead.
Any additional comments?
This is laugh out loud funny, hence my warning. Listen and enjoy.
7 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Ger
- 16-12-2015
absolute classic
brilliantly introduced into the night watch story line and the brilliantly cynic Sam vimes!!! classic
6 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
- Matthew
- 08-09-2012
Good, but not the best of the series
Guards! Guards! is one of the earlier discworld books and is the first time we are introduced to the City Watch making it their first in that line of books set in the discworld.
This is a fantastic story and it is well read, however the truth is that Planer is not as good at the unabridged recordings as Briggs and as a result I have lowered my score.
There is also the fact that as this is an early Guards book its just not as fleshed out as some of its sequels and as a result I cant really give it five stars because doing so would cheapen the five star novels from later on in the series.
If you love Discworld you will love this (I did), however while listening to it just remember that there is far better to come
11 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Nina
- 24-07-2016
Hilarious town tales are some of Prachett's best!
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Another great book from Sir Terry Prachett full of humour and sarcasm worth spending a credit for! "Guards! Guards!" gives you a "what's going to happen next?!" feeling through the whole story and so much more. This book shows the author's humour at its best through the events, names of the main characters and a liberal sprinkling of twists.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Guards! Guards!?
The dragon of course! Yes, there are dragons "stuck like sardines" who creep into the Disc...
Which character – as performed by Nigel Planer – was your favourite?
Nigel Planer gives another great performance and choosing one character performed by him doesn't do the justice. Imitating all the different guards in the story and giving them their own personalities is an art in its own, elevating this to a great audio book.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
This book breaks the stereotypes as no other and shows the hidden simplicity of happiness in the human nature. This especially shines through in Carrot's actions - one of the guards. His story wound through the events of the book show Prachett's unique style and his compassion to the world and its people.
4 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Billybreitling
- 04-12-2015
Fabulous!
Beautifully written, brilliantly read with real character infused by Nigel Planer. Absolutely Hilarious. Only let down but rubbishy sound quality of old "audiobooks - when are we going to get cd quality?
4 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Nim
- 01-12-2015
Excellent despite not loving Terry Pratchett
I never thought that I would say this about a Terry Pratchett book, it was very amazing! I really loved it,I think I got onto the wrong foot with Terry Pratchett, but I could never get into his books then my brother made me listen to this one and I loved it, I couldn't put it down and have loved the entire series, really worth a read whether you are a Terry Pratchett fan or not.
3 people found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Andy Mactosh
- 03-11-2015
one of my favourites
you can't hold a better mirror to our world. oh and it has a bloody great big dragon in it.
3 people found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Mr Jon Ryan
- 02-12-2013
Happy listening
Where does Guards! Guards! rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
One of Terry Pratchett's disc world greats.
What other book might you compare Guards! Guards! to, and why?
Well there is about 3 other books in the disc world colletion that centre's around the the night watch.
What aspect of Nigel Planer’s performance might you have changed?
There are parts where the gap between words is too long or short where it has been cut.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
any part about Knobby knobs.
Any additional comments?
Read all the disc world colletion.
3 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Dragon
- 11-01-2016
Must have
My favourite discworld story brought to life by Nigel Planer. I've owned and loved Tony Robinsons abridged version but this is better. The full text contains a lot of additional humour, the story holds together better, and I like planar's restrained style especially his deadpan Vimes. Highly recommended to all dragon lovers.
2 people found this helpful
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