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Guards! Guards!
- Narrated by: Nigel Planer
- Series: Discworld, Book 8, Discworld: Ankh-Morpork City Watch, Book 1
- Length: 10 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged Audiobook
- Categories: Science Fiction & Fantasy, Fantasy
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Men at Arms
- Discworld, Book 15
- By: Terry Pratchett
- Narrated by: Nigel Planer
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 521
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 471
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 470
The town of Ankh-Morpork is in big trouble and the City Watch is desperate for a few good men to protect it. But all they've got are the dwarves Corporal Carrot and Lance-constable Cuddy, the troll Lance-constable Detritus, Lance-constable Angua, who is believed to be a woman and, worst of all, Corporal Nobbs, who has been disqualified from the human race for shoving! These underdogs need all the help they can get, for they've been given only 24 hours to clean up the war-torn town.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Men at Arms
- By dave on 09-07-2016
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Feet of Clay
- Discworld, Book 19
- By: Terry Pratchett
- Narrated by: Nigel Planer
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 401
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 365
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Story5 out of 5 stars 365
Who's murdering harmless old men? Who's poisoning the Patrician? As autumn fogs hold Ankh-Morpork in their grip, the City Watch has to track down a murderer who can't be seen. Maybe the golems know something - but the solemn men of clay, who work all day and night and are never any trouble to anyone, have started to commit suicide....
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5 out of 5 stars
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Caution!
- By Karlene in Nz on 08-05-2021
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Jingo
- Discworld, Book 21
- By: Terry Pratchett
- Narrated by: Nigel Planer
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 379
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 345
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Story5 out of 5 stars 344
A weathercock has risen from the sea of Discworld and suddenly you can tell which way the wind is blowing. A new land has surfaced and so have old feuds. And as two armies march, Commander Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch has got just a few hours to deal with a crime so big that there's no law against it. It's called 'war'.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Vimes and Vetinari at war
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Pyramids
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- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 228
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 205
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 206
It isn't easy, being a teenage pharaoh. You're not allowed to carry money, uninhibited young women peel your grapes for you, everyone thinks you're responsible for making the sun rise and the corn grow, you keep dreaming about seven thin cows and seven fat cows (one of them playing the trombone), and on top of everything else, the Great Pyramid has just exploded because of paracosmic instability.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A great listen
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Sam Vines is a man on the run. Yesterday, he was a duke, a chief of police, and an ambassador. Now he has nothing but his native wit and the gloomy trousers of Uncle Vanya. And if he can't make it through the forest to civilisation, there's going to be a terrible war. But there are monsters on his trail. They're werewolves - and they're catching up. Sam Vimes is out of time and already out of breath....
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5 out of 5 stars
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Pure Literary Brilliance
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Night Watch
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Truth! Justice! Freedom! And a hard-boiled egg! Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch had it all. But now he's back in his own rough, tough past, without even the clothes he was standing up in when the lightning struck. Living in the past is hard. Dying in the past is incredibly easy. But he must survive; he has a job to do.
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5 out of 5 stars
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My favourite City Watch book
- By Gretta on 28-11-2014
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Men at Arms
- Discworld, Book 15
- By: Terry Pratchett
- Narrated by: Nigel Planer
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 521
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 471
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 470
The town of Ankh-Morpork is in big trouble and the City Watch is desperate for a few good men to protect it. But all they've got are the dwarves Corporal Carrot and Lance-constable Cuddy, the troll Lance-constable Detritus, Lance-constable Angua, who is believed to be a woman and, worst of all, Corporal Nobbs, who has been disqualified from the human race for shoving! These underdogs need all the help they can get, for they've been given only 24 hours to clean up the war-torn town.
-
5 out of 5 stars
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Men at Arms
- By dave on 09-07-2016
-
Feet of Clay
- Discworld, Book 19
- By: Terry Pratchett
- Narrated by: Nigel Planer
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 401
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 365
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 365
Who's murdering harmless old men? Who's poisoning the Patrician? As autumn fogs hold Ankh-Morpork in their grip, the City Watch has to track down a murderer who can't be seen. Maybe the golems know something - but the solemn men of clay, who work all day and night and are never any trouble to anyone, have started to commit suicide....
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Caution!
- By Karlene in Nz on 08-05-2021
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Jingo
- Discworld, Book 21
- By: Terry Pratchett
- Narrated by: Nigel Planer
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 379
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 345
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 344
A weathercock has risen from the sea of Discworld and suddenly you can tell which way the wind is blowing. A new land has surfaced and so have old feuds. And as two armies march, Commander Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch has got just a few hours to deal with a crime so big that there's no law against it. It's called 'war'.
-
5 out of 5 stars
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Vimes and Vetinari at war
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Pyramids
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- By: Terry Pratchett
- Narrated by: Nigel Planer
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 228
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 205
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 206
It isn't easy, being a teenage pharaoh. You're not allowed to carry money, uninhibited young women peel your grapes for you, everyone thinks you're responsible for making the sun rise and the corn grow, you keep dreaming about seven thin cows and seven fat cows (one of them playing the trombone), and on top of everything else, the Great Pyramid has just exploded because of paracosmic instability.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A great listen
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 358
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Story5 out of 5 stars 356
Sam Vines is a man on the run. Yesterday, he was a duke, a chief of police, and an ambassador. Now he has nothing but his native wit and the gloomy trousers of Uncle Vanya. And if he can't make it through the forest to civilisation, there's going to be a terrible war. But there are monsters on his trail. They're werewolves - and they're catching up. Sam Vimes is out of time and already out of breath....
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5 out of 5 stars
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Pure Literary Brilliance
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Truth! Justice! Freedom! And a hard-boiled egg! Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch had it all. But now he's back in his own rough, tough past, without even the clothes he was standing up in when the lightning struck. Living in the past is hard. Dying in the past is incredibly easy. But he must survive; he has a job to do.
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5 out of 5 stars
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My favourite City Watch book
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4 out of 5 stars
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In Terry Pratchett's Reaper Man, Death has left Discworld - but that's not necessarily a good thing. After all, chaos always ensues whenever important public services are withdrawn, and Discworld is no exception. Society is suddenly overrun by ghosts and poltergeists, while Dead Rights activist Reg Shoe finds himself busier than he's ever been and newly-deceased wizard Windle Poons rises from his coffin as a living corpse.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Mort, like many teenagers, is gangly, unpromising, and struggling with a menial job - in his case, as Death's apprentice. He can barely handle his simple task of ushering souls out of Discworld, but he really screws up when he meets the beautiful Princess Keli, who is scheduled to be assassinated.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great book, well narrated, very poor quality.
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Koom Valley? That was where the trolls ambushed the dwarfs, or the dwarfs ambushed the trolls. It was far away. It was a long time ago. But if he doesn't solve the murder of just one dwarf, Commander Sam Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch is going to see it fought again, right outside his office.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Another great adventure!
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It is a truth universally acknowledged that a policeman taking a holiday would barely have had time to open his suitcase before he finds his first corpse. And Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch is on holiday in the pleasant and innocent countryside, but not for him a mere body in the wardrobe. There are many, many bodies and an ancient crime more terrible than murder. He is out of his jurisdiction, out of his depth, out of bacon sandwiches and occasionally snookered and out of his mind, but never out of guile. They say that in the end all sins are forgiven.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great book by a Beloved author
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5 out of 5 stars
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What a performance!
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3 out of 5 stars
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Love the book, hated the narration.
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Young Susan has always suspected that her Grandfather was different, as though all the time he spent riding a white horse and wielding a scythe weren't enough of a giveaway. Now that her worst fears have been confirmed, Susan learns that she's expected to take over the family business when she grows up, even though most people mistake her for the Tooth Fairy. But as attractive as Death can be to many people, Susan is drawn into something else.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Nigel Planer can do Death's CAPITAL LETTER VOICE
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Everybody knows there's no such thing as a female wizard. So when the wizard Drum Billet accidentally passes on his staff of power to an eighth daughter of an eighth son, a girl called Eskarina (Esk, for short), the misogynistic world of wizardry wants nothing to do with her.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fantastic narration
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Publisher's Summary
If you find yourself ruminating on questions like "Where have all the dragons gone?" then this is the story for you. Explore the crazy, creepy land called Discworld, where you'll discover that the dragons aren't asleep or dead - they're dormant, packed in like huge, scaly sardines. Join in the search for the key to their closed-in, comatose world in this eighth fantastical Discworld novel.
Please note: This is a vintage recording. The audio quality may not be up to modern day standards.
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What listeners say about Guards! Guards!
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mr Alan M Kohn
- 15-06-2017
Captain Vimes vs the dragon
a great way to hear the story of Captain Vimes and the men of the nightwatch saving their city from the dragon
2 people found this helpful
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Gastronomix
- 15-05-2020
Huge Pratchett fans, but this needs re-recording
I'll start by saying we're massive Pratchett fans and own all the books; we've recently started getting the audiobooks as something to listen to with the family and as an alternative way of experiencing the stories. Unfortunately, the quality of both the narration and audio itself varies greatly from book to book and the only way to be sure of what you're getting is to listen to the whole thing. In this case, while the sound quality is mostly fine, listening to Nigel Planer is absolutely excruciating. I'm aware of who he is, I've seen him in so many things all the way back to The Young Ones, but the Pratchett books are being massacred by him and are so far from his best work. Stephen Briggs & Michael Fenton Stevens have both done really good jobs on quite a number of the books, and it would be a wise idea to get someone in to re-record all the one narrated by Planer (and there are many). Overall I would not recommend, which is a real shame as the book is a joy.
1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- David Button
- 17-08-2019
Neil and Co
fantastic story and fantastic reading by Nigel Planer, he puts all the humor of the book into the Characters
1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 25-05-2019
A great read and a great listen.
Nigel Palner is perfect for Terry Pratchets disc world books. You can even hear 'Neil' from the Young Ones.
1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 15-08-2022
A fantastic pulp fantasy novel.
A great place to start with Discworld. I have heard of this series for years, and decided to start here. It was a great choice. Great characters, a thrilling plot and fantastic world-building. very effectively narrated with distinctive voices and characterisation.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 03-04-2022
Shoddy recording
I’m used to these recordings being old, but this one was something shocking. Lines repeated, “chapters” cut out randomly, and scenes were missing their ends
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Stephen Grocott
- 29-12-2021
Another Pratchett classic with amazing narration
Typical quirky, provocative, thoughtful humour that sneaks up on you, makes you laugh and makes you think. Nigel Planer’s narration is astounding. couldn’t ask for better. His range of accents and tones is remarkable, and he matches then to the character phenomenally well.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Bungy
- 25-12-2021
One of my favourite Sir Pterry books.
Has everything a story could wish - romance, magic, dragons, lost kings, redemption, small valiant warriors facing million-to-one odds...
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Susan
- 24-09-2021
Love Pratchett
Re-read of a favourite book. Always fun, I love getting new puns when listening to an audio.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Julie Holmes
- 06-08-2021
Marvellous stuff
Loved it. Having read the book many times it was a joy to hear Nigel Planer’s reading of this wonderful story.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jacobus
- 28-12-2009
A continuous joy
There are very few books that deserve to be revised. Guards Guards, the first of the Night Watch Discworld novels is one of these few. With the classic performance of Nigel Planer it felt like bounching into an old and beloved friend with whom one has lost contact many years ago. Planer's voice and the late Sir Terry Pratchett's "serious" humour still makes an excellent escape from the rush and turmoil of everyday life. This audiobook is a golden oldie to be revisited every once and again.
10 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- BlueRoo2
- 07-09-2016
What great fun !
Where does Guards! Guards! rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
It is definitely one of the better books. It rolls along with the occasional laugh out loud segment and frequent guffaws.
Who was your favorite character and why?
Its hard not to like all the characters. Pratchett develops his characters as if they were real people. I do like Sam Vimes though. He's an interesting mix of the alcoholic veteran and the suddenly energetic action hero - surprising himself as much as the reader.
What does Nigel Planer bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
Inflection, accents and delivery pace all bring the characters to life and the events are vested with excitement you might not discover just reading it yourself. There are very few readers I think I'd trust with a Discworld book and Nigel is great.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
Not especially. This is a light tale that gallops along exuding fun, humour and wrapped around a cracking good story.
Any additional comments?
Yes. As much as I admire Nigel Planer, I do wish the voice he used for Sam Vimes had suited the character a little better. The voice is a little nasal and somewhat dull. Vimes is many things but he's certainly not stupid.
4 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 09-07-2020
Absolutely phenomenal writing
Loved the descriptions. Amazing humor that makes me burst out laughing on regular bases. Narator nails the presentation.
3 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 17-03-2022
Soon to be removed from store
Pratchett was a comedic genius. Monty Python-esk, joyful, witty, human and hope giving.
Unfortunately, the producers have begun replacing the original recordings. See "Hogfarther" for e.g.
Nigel Planer was hand picked by Pratchett because his narration truly captures the british serious yet silly humor. To replace this with a childrens fairy tale grade narrator is a crime upon art.
Get them while you can.
2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Samuel Leslie
- 09-08-2022
One of the best
Typical of all the Disk World books the story is engaging and funny and insightful. Nigel Planer is perfect for me with this story.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Matthew A Drexel
- 08-07-2022
Totally worth the credit despite the short length
I don’t know what everyone is talking about, I thought the sound quality was fine. But I have spent the past 10 years listening to bootlegs of concerts, so maybe I am skewed.
Either way, great story. Love Pratchett.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Sawyer
- 03-07-2022
so funny I had to stop driving
Terry Pratchett takes you into an absurd fantasy world that makes you laugh and snicker the whole way through. it does a beautiful job of not taking itself too seriously, while still having you on the edge of your seat.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kindle Customer
- 27-06-2022
Phenomenal. Discworld at its best
Very inventive story with lots of narrative threads. The characters are all phenomenal and a ton of fun. Terry Pratchett really struck gold with this one
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
- Alyssia
- 10-06-2022
8 stars
My first Diskworld book. my dad got it for me cause it had dragons on the cover, and I was grumpy that he had gotten me the 8th book in a series instead of the 1st.
I'm so happy I was wrong.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Ian Colburn
- 01-06-2022
Ape 🦧
The best voice for an orangutan you will ever hear. a review requires at least 15 words
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- mollyeyre
- 08-07-2013
Eminently Re-readable
I love the characters in Terry Pratchett's books, Lady Sybil is wonderful - I imagine her like a ship in full sail, although each of the Discworld novels follow on from eachother, they are equally brilliant as 'stand alone' stories. I do feel strongly that Terry Pratchett is a brilliant man, and that his humour is intelligent and pokes fun at the stupidities of our human race!
12 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Ger
- 16-12-2015
absolute classic
brilliantly introduced into the night watch story line and the brilliantly cynic Sam vimes!!! classic
9 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Billybreitling
- 04-12-2015
Fabulous!
Beautifully written, brilliantly read with real character infused by Nigel Planer. Absolutely Hilarious. Only let down but rubbishy sound quality of old "audiobooks - when are we going to get cd quality?
6 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
- Matthew
- 08-09-2012
Good, but not the best of the series
Guards! Guards! is one of the earlier discworld books and is the first time we are introduced to the City Watch making it their first in that line of books set in the discworld.
This is a fantastic story and it is well read, however the truth is that Planer is not as good at the unabridged recordings as Briggs and as a result I have lowered my score.
There is also the fact that as this is an early Guards book its just not as fleshed out as some of its sequels and as a result I cant really give it five stars because doing so would cheapen the five star novels from later on in the series.
If you love Discworld you will love this (I did), however while listening to it just remember that there is far better to come
12 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Nina
- 24-07-2016
Hilarious town tales are some of Prachett's best!
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Another great book from Sir Terry Prachett full of humour and sarcasm worth spending a credit for! "Guards! Guards!" gives you a "what's going to happen next?!" feeling through the whole story and so much more. This book shows the author's humour at its best through the events, names of the main characters and a liberal sprinkling of twists.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Guards! Guards!?
The dragon of course! Yes, there are dragons "stuck like sardines" who creep into the Disc...
Which character – as performed by Nigel Planer – was your favourite?
Nigel Planer gives another great performance and choosing one character performed by him doesn't do the justice. Imitating all the different guards in the story and giving them their own personalities is an art in its own, elevating this to a great audio book.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
This book breaks the stereotypes as no other and shows the hidden simplicity of happiness in the human nature. This especially shines through in Carrot's actions - one of the guards. His story wound through the events of the book show Prachett's unique style and his compassion to the world and its people.
4 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Nim
- 01-12-2015
Excellent despite not loving Terry Pratchett
I never thought that I would say this about a Terry Pratchett book, it was very amazing! I really loved it,I think I got onto the wrong foot with Terry Pratchett, but I could never get into his books then my brother made me listen to this one and I loved it, I couldn't put it down and have loved the entire series, really worth a read whether you are a Terry Pratchett fan or not.
4 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Robin
- 05-05-2020
Hilarious. Brilliant. Timeless.
I've been working my way through the Terry Pratchett 'Discworld' audiobooks and this is by far my favourite story as of yet. Nigel Planer is equally the perfect narrator - humorous, creative and a conjurer of so many vital, vivid characters. Give it a listen!
3 people found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Andy Mactosh
- 03-11-2015
one of my favourites
you can't hold a better mirror to our world. oh and it has a bloody great big dragon in it.
3 people found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Ms Inga Ryan
- 02-12-2013
Happy listening
Where does Guards! Guards! rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
One of Terry Pratchett's disc world greats.
What other book might you compare Guards! Guards! to, and why?
Well there is about 3 other books in the disc world colletion that centre's around the the night watch.
What aspect of Nigel Planer’s performance might you have changed?
There are parts where the gap between words is too long or short where it has been cut.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
any part about Knobby knobs.
Any additional comments?
Read all the disc world colletion.
3 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- mentally unbalanced
- 11-08-2016
The story of the Watch begins here.
Excellent book. Sam Vimes and the watch are my favourite thread in the Discworld universe, acting as a good satire and showing of Pratchett's ability to write a mystery/thriller. This is a good book to chose to get into reading Discworld. Men at Arms coninues the story of the Watch and Sam Vimes.
2 people found this helpful
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