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Guards! Guards!

By: Terry Pratchett
Narrated by: Nigel Planer
Length: 10 hrs and 8 mins
5 out of 5 stars (269 ratings)
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The Colour of Magic, the first novel in Terry Pratchett's wildly imaginative Discworld series, takes the listener on a remarkable journey. The magical planet of Discworld is supported by four massive elephants who stand on the back of the Great A'Tuin, a giant turtle swimming slowly through the mysterious interstellar gulf. An eccentric expedition sets out to explore the planet, encountering dragons who only exist if you believe in them, and, of course, "The Edge" of the planet.

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  • 5 out of 5 stars

  • Great book, well narrated, very poor quality.

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An aura of mean-minded resentfulness is thick in the streets of Ankh-Morpork. Insurrection is in the air. The Haves and Have-Nots are about to fall out all over again. The Have-Nots want some of their own magic. But magic in the hands of amateurs is a dangerous thing. The City Watch is the last line of defence against such unnatural goings-on. But when even the Watch have trouble telling right from wrong, you know that law and order ain't what they used to be. But that's all about to change.

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Publisher's Summary

If you find yourself ruminating on questions like "Where have all the dragons gone?" then this is the story for you. Explore the crazy, creepy land called Discworld, where you'll discover that the dragons aren't asleep or dead - they're dormant, packed in like huge, scaly sardines. Join in the search for the key to their closed-in, comatose world in this eighth fantastical Discworld novel.
Click here to see all the titles in our Terry Pratchett collection.
©1989 Terry and Lyn Pratchett (P)1995 ISIS Publishing Ltd

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Amazon Reviews
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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Captain Vimes vs the dragon

a great way to hear the story of Captain Vimes and the men of the nightwatch saving their city from the dragon

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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top stuff

has been great to discover the origns of the watch nigel is a master. genius again.

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Spectacular narrative

Excellent Pratchettian storyline with the gallant Captain Vimes and his Lady Sybil, Carrot and the rank. Wish Stephen Biggs were the reader, though... I find his characterisation more convincing.

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great book. ok audio book.

fantastic book. bit of a dated audio book, like most of the early pratchett books.

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  • gam
  • nz
  • 28-12-2016

Great story

Classic Terry Pratchett, great story, wonderful characters and funny plot.
The production is not great with pauses at unexpected times.

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  • Reece
  • VIC/AUSTRALIA
  • 30-03-2016

First Pratchett book, definitely not last!!!

I loved this book, it made me laugh but gave me the type of magical story I love full of all the intrigue and imagination that only mr Pratchett could muster up.
Well recommended!!!
Nigel Planer's narration is legendary, he is one of the best I have heard.

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    4 out of 5 stars
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Funny

This was a great place to start the disc world series and had me laughing out loud in many places (gym, bus, work...)
There are a few audio issues where the quality changes or a skip here and there but still listenable.
Great story and voices. Really well performed and I loved the characters and how they were played.
Two thumbs up

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Love this book

A great version of a Pratchett classic. I will be coming back to this audio book for many many long trips

0 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Jacobus
  • 28-12-2009

A continuous joy

There are very few books that deserve to be revised. Guards Guards, the first of the Night Watch Discworld novels is one of these few. With the classic performance of Nigel Planer it felt like bounching into an old and beloved friend with whom one has lost contact many years ago. Planer's voice and the late Sir Terry Pratchett's "serious" humour still makes an excellent escape from the rush and turmoil of everyday life. This audiobook is a golden oldie to be revisited every once and again.

5 of 6 people found this review helpful

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  • Filip
  • 17-04-2013

Best narrator I know

What did you love best about Guards! Guards!?

Nigel Planer is amazing! The voices you will hear are the same you've imagined in your head, when reading paper book. I enjoy Pratchett again, but this time on the street, in subway, everywhere.

What did you like best about this story?

It is Pratchett, so ..... everything.

What does Nigel Planer bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

The real authentic voices.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Matthew
  • 26-01-2019

Most excellent!

Very good story and characters, and Pratchett’s humor is very intelligent and witty. 10 out of 10!

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  • Michelle C.
  • 20-06-2018

So much fun

My first Terry Prachett book and it was so much fun I can't wait to read more.

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  • Lukas Kubik
  • 20-05-2018

Discworld in its best form

Guard! Guards! was actually one of the first if not THE first novel by Terry Pratchett I had read. It sparked a passion which became a deep love of Sir Terry Pratchett's work. To listen to the story narrated by Nigel Planer is pure joy, I have listened to this particular audiobook so many times I cannot count them, whilst working, relaxing, travelling... I can whole-heartedly recommend this title to anyone whether you're already a Pratchett's Discworld's fan or whether you are just thinking about giving it a shot.

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  • i
  • 01-11-2017

amazing book, amazing performance

A great book if you've never read/listened to a discworld book before. Funny as hell with a solid emotional core.

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  • lebanen
  • 13-10-2016

Such a nice way to get into Pratchett's work

I really enjoyed this audio book. The narator did his best to really place you in unbelievable adventure, with characters that are very easy to identify.

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  • BlueRoo2
  • 07-09-2016

What great fun !

Where does Guards! Guards! rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

It is definitely one of the better books. It rolls along with the occasional laugh out loud segment and frequent guffaws.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Its hard not to like all the characters. Pratchett develops his characters as if they were real people. I do like Sam Vimes though. He's an interesting mix of the alcoholic veteran and the suddenly energetic action hero - surprising himself as much as the reader.

What does Nigel Planer bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

Inflection, accents and delivery pace all bring the characters to life and the events are vested with excitement you might not discover just reading it yourself. There are very few readers I think I'd trust with a Discworld book and Nigel is great.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Not especially. This is a light tale that gallops along exuding fun, humour and wrapped around a cracking good story.

Any additional comments?

Yes. As much as I admire Nigel Planer, I do wish the voice he used for Sam Vimes had suited the character a little better. The voice is a little nasal and somewhat dull. Vimes is many things but he's certainly not stupid.

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  • anne marie hovgaard
  • 14-06-2016

Choose a different version

Great book, but unfortunately the narrator is not very good. He makes everyone sound like Nobby.

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  • Eveline Howells
  • 29-05-2016

gaurds gaurds

great fun as always Terry Pratchett is unique, if you like the crazy unusual, you will love this work..

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    3 out of 5 stars
  • Matthew
  • 08-09-2012

Good, but not the best of the series

Guards! Guards! is one of the earlier discworld books and is the first time we are introduced to the City Watch making it their first in that line of books set in the discworld.

This is a fantastic story and it is well read, however the truth is that Planer is not as good at the unabridged recordings as Briggs and as a result I have lowered my score.

There is also the fact that as this is an early Guards book its just not as fleshed out as some of its sequels and as a result I cant really give it five stars because doing so would cheapen the five star novels from later on in the series.

If you love Discworld you will love this (I did), however while listening to it just remember that there is far better to come

8 of 8 people found this review helpful

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  • mollyeyre
  • 08-07-2013

Eminently Re-readable

I love the characters in Terry Pratchett's books, Lady Sybil is wonderful - I imagine her like a ship in full sail, although each of the Discworld novels follow on from eachother, they are equally brilliant as 'stand alone' stories. I do feel strongly that Terry Pratchett is a brilliant man, and that his humour is intelligent and pokes fun at the stupidities of our human race!

7 of 7 people found this review helpful

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  • Ger
  • 16-12-2015

absolute classic

brilliantly introduced into the night watch story line and the brilliantly cynic Sam vimes!!! classic

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 22-05-2014

Warning! Do not listen in public!

Would you listen to Guards! Guards! again? Why?

Time and time again. It always makes me laugh out loud, something always takes me by surprise.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Corporal Nobbs, disqualified from the human race for shoving... or is it Lance Constable Carrot the 6 foot dwarf, a picture of innocence, or ... there are just too many to choose from.

Have you listened to any of Nigel Planer’s other performances? How does this one compare?

No, but I will do now.

If you made a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

Sorry don't do this - read books instead.

Any additional comments?

This is laugh out loud funny, hence my warning. Listen and enjoy.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

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  • Nina
  • 24-07-2016

Hilarious town tales are some of Prachett's best!

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Another great book from Sir Terry Prachett full of humour and sarcasm worth spending a credit for! "Guards! Guards!" gives you a "what's going to happen next?!" feeling through the whole story and so much more. This book shows the author's humour at its best through the events, names of the main characters and a liberal sprinkling of twists.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Guards! Guards!?

The dragon of course! Yes, there are dragons "stuck like sardines" who creep into the Disc...

Which character – as performed by Nigel Planer – was your favourite?

Nigel Planer gives another great performance and choosing one character performed by him doesn't do the justice. Imitating all the different guards in the story and giving them their own personalities is an art in its own, elevating this to a great audio book.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

This book breaks the stereotypes as no other and shows the hidden simplicity of happiness in the human nature. This especially shines through in Carrot's actions - one of the guards. His story wound through the events of the book show Prachett's unique style and his compassion to the world and its people.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Miss
  • 24-01-2016

A Great Bedtime Listen!

Funny and sweet and unpredictable. Perfect escapism after a busy day. Narrated very well by Nigel Planer.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Nim
  • 01-12-2015

Excellent despite not loving Terry Pratchett

I never thought that I would say this about a Terry Pratchett book, it was very amazing! I really loved it,I think I got onto the wrong foot with Terry Pratchett, but I could never get into his books then my brother made me listen to this one and I loved it, I couldn't put it down and have loved the entire series, really worth a read whether you are a Terry Pratchett fan or not.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Dragon
  • 11-01-2016

Must have

My favourite discworld story brought to life by Nigel Planer. I've owned and loved Tony Robinsons abridged version but this is better. The full text contains a lot of additional humour, the story holds together better, and I like planar's restrained style especially his deadpan Vimes. Highly recommended to all dragon lovers.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Billybreitling
  • 04-12-2015

Fabulous!

Beautifully written, brilliantly read with real character infused by Nigel Planer. Absolutely Hilarious. Only let down but rubbishy sound quality of old "audiobooks - when are we going to get cd quality?

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Andy Mactosh
  • 03-11-2015

one of my favourites

you can't hold a better mirror to our world. oh and it has a bloody great big dragon in it.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful