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  • Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing

  • By: Matthew Perry
  • Narrated by: Matthew Perry
  • Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (2,192 ratings)

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Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing

By: Matthew Perry
Narrated by: Matthew Perry
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Publisher's Summary

Shortlisted for The British Book Awards Book of the Year - Audiobook: Non-Fiction

The beloved star of Friends takes us behind the scenes of the hit sitcom and his struggles with addiction in this candid, funny, and revelatory memoir that delivers a powerful message of hope and persistence

In an extraordinary story that only he could tell, Matthew Perry takes readers onto the soundstage of the most successful sitcom of all time while opening up about his private struggles with addiction. Candid, self-aware, and told with his trademark humour, Perry vividly details his lifelong battle with the disease and what fuelled it despite seemingly having it all.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is an unforgettable memoir that shares the most intimate details of the love Perry lost, his darkest days, and his greatest friends.

Unflinchingly honest, moving, and hilarious: this is the book fans have been waiting for.

©2022 Matthew Perry (P)2022 Macmillan Audio

What listeners say about Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing

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Very self indulgent

A very repetitive and singular story solely about his addition. I did not find him likeable or entertaining.

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16 people found this helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars
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Sobbing on the court and praying in the kitchen

Most drug addled stars at least have fun before the fall. Miserable, repetitive and dull.

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8 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Sad look behind the facade

These type of memoirs always serve as a solid reminder that no one’s life is perfect, no amount of fame and fortune can truly buy happiness. Was really insightful and I learnt a lot about addiction and Matthew Perry.

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7 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Real life meeting Real life

Quite possibly the most important, dialogue for humans , to hear.
A real, life rendition of a real life struggle.

Outstanding commitment to honest comments of the human struggle. Thankyou and blessings 💜

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7 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Alls well that ends well

It’s admirable for someone as big a star as Matthew Perry to come out so raw and deep about his struggles while he put so much smiles on millions of faces. So much respect and admiration for Matty, seems like he is born a star all over again. I sincerely hope you find a loving wife and have a beautiful family someday, you surely deserve it all. All the best Chandler!

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6 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

interesting but. ...

it was an easy listen but the book mainly focused on his battle with addiction

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6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

made me laugh, smile & cry!

Exceeded my expectations.
Very raw, honest & powerful. Hearing Matthew Perry narrate it himself made it even more emotional!.. absolutely brilliant.

What a strong man for sharing his recovery journey with the entire world!

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6 people found this helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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Wanted to love and admire this

Disclaimer: I have never had a drug or alcohol addiction and so this was brave for him to relay. But overwhelmingly, this is the story of someone who didn’t seem to want to take any responsibility for his life. He largely blames his parents’ divorce for his feelings and spends $7 million trying to get well. Good on him for wanting to get well but so many people suffer so much more trauma and don’t have any money to help them get well, and yet they finger point a lot less. How he treated the women in his life is very distressing and his lack of self awareness is shocking.

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3 people found this helpful

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Doesn't cut it

I read this month's ago, and am now reviewing it post Perry's passing because I would hate people to come here feeling sad about his death hoping to find some light from his words.
I felt sad when I heard of his death, but I would have been more sad if I hadn't already read this. This book makes him across as an ego centric, blame shifting, sooky misogynist. He writes about himself like he is gods gift to comedy and to women, and he says some very cringey and off putting things.
His battle with addiction is real, and sad, but the way he blames others for his actions, particularly in the early stages of his addiction, is gross.
If you need Perry fix, go and watch Friends. This book won't do it for you.

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10% about Friends, 90% about self pity and rehab

The slurry, monotone narration makes this book hard to listen to. 10% of the book is about Friends, 90% is about rehab and self pity. A self described narcissist, playing the victim and loving the drama he caused. Bummed that a wasted a credit on this.

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  • Nicholas Bryant
  • 01-11-2022

The High Highs & Low Lows of being Matthew Perry

This is an absolutely fascinating tell all story. As a massive fan of the actor and his character on Friends, it exceeded my expectations. The depth he goes into explaining his high highs and low lows - and hitting rock bottom and then going through rock bottom - is gut wrenching and heart breaking. Never knew how shocking his addiction was nor his ability to hide it and still perform. 10/10

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  • E
  • 04-11-2023

So open and true

I find this so sad. And yet I love Matthew Perry as long as I can remember. My thoughts about him would never ever have come close to this broken man. How true is this that it is an illness and something that I myself can never understand. My dad was an alcoholic and I could never understand why he was so ‘weak’ and yet it sadness me that some people have to bear a addiction that we can not understand. He is now gone and I still feel so sad about it but after listening to his story it is clear what he went thru. My only prayer is that Matthew has now found piece and that he now can understand how much we loved him and his work. I have watch Friends many times and can watch it many more times and it still will make me so happy and grateful! RIP - you will be missed.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-11-2022

Chandler / Mathew

Nothing short to be called
Real struggle of Mathew Perry / Chandler Bing.
His acting skills and comic timing were no match to any other actor in his generation or any future generation.
I wish we saw more of his work or had more of his interviews. Please don’t ask him about his past personal issues. Ask him how good of an amazing actor he is.

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  • Heidi Tordrup
  • 10-12-2023

His honesty

It makes it easier to understand the struggles of the alchoholic - the sickness. - that just one drop of alchohol tears the membrane away. The hope that it is possible to break out of this hell.

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  • Emjay
  • 04-12-2023

A generous and revealing autobiography

I was extremely saddened to read Matthew’s autobiography and learn how shaky he was on the inside.
He was very generous in writing this bare- all account of some very serious addictions and long standing frailties.
If only he know how many people loved him,
It is incredible the heights he soared to on top of all that angst, insecurity and self destruction.
I hope he is now at peace and happy.
This book needed to be written so that non- addicts can better understand what goes on for people who suffer addiction issues. Thanks Matthew and RIP x

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  • Anonymous User
  • 29-11-2023

It gives a very clear picture of the extremely difficult lives of addicts

Although heart breaking, it is very interesting to take a look into the life of a person who fights his addictions, let alone when you read the book after this person has recently passed away. Perry was very honest on his addiction and his battles, at a brutal point, but this is the right way in my opinion. There are not enough indicators of dates and as he was going back and forth into the timeline I was puzzled in many points of the story. I think the book lacks editing in this respect. His bitter humour shows up often and you cannot help but recognizing pieces of Chandler into Perry's personality. Actually it was the other way round, Chandler was Perry. Amazing. Apart from that I felt uncomfortable with all the stories of his love life. I know it is the book I am rating and not his life per se, but it felt like this part was sort of boasting rather than telling a story, there was no essential discussion on those parts. I didn't mind him boasting about the money and fame he had, because that was an important part of his story. All in all, his writing is very straightforward, not suitable for all parts of his autobiography and at times makes you lose interest. But you should read it if you want to know what kind of hell exists for people who are addicted to substances.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 29-11-2023

Most authentic biography

This books was both horrifying and funny. I love how he takes us into his world and shows us just how beautiful and amazing it was, yet throughout these great experiences, he is hounded by “The Big Terrible Thing”. I have a better understanding of addiction and what it can do to a person.

And I have immense respect for what Matthew Perry went through in his struggle to get out of it. I really enjoyed this book and would highly recommend it to anyone.

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  • asia
  • 27-11-2023

His voice and the passion he put in the book

Absolutely amazing and touching. Matthew Perry was a beautiful soul. He is gonna be missed my so many

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  • Anonymous User
  • 25-11-2023

Matthews voice

I will never watch Friends the same again! We never know what others are dealing with. It is so easy to believe in just what you see. I am gratefull i had a chance to hear his story told by himself! It was powerfull and i sm sure it will guide a lot of people to the right direction. To kerp fighting even when it looks like there is no point fighting. Fly high Matthew… you are finaly free…

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Sara Ö.
  • 21-11-2023

Newfound respect for Matty

The story brings both heartache and awe. since Matty recently left this world, it hits you how much he had struggled and finally was in a good place. Performance wise I had to adjust the speed to 1.25 and English isn't even my native language, but the pace was too slow.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 03-11-2022

Some interesting insights, mostly a narrative of self pity

I was pretty disappointed with this book; Matthew Perry comes across as self involved to the point of narcissism, and is eager to blame others for his problems.

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  • Brad50
  • 05-11-2022

A story mostly of ego, greed and self pity!

Wow... I love friends, by my god, there is so much ego, greed and self pity in this book it was at times hard to stomach! I think Matthew Perry is lucky to have had people in his life who have cared for him and loved him at least half as much as he loves himself 🤷‍♂️.... Fame (Friends) has saved his life, had he not had the money behind him and admiration of people around him he would've been a gonner a long time ago.

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  • Michaela
  • 06-11-2022

Blame blame blame

I really wanted to like this. I pre ordered this and way looking forward to listening to this audiobook. I am a huge Friends fan and watch all the seasons regularly.
Matthew comes across as a bitter man who blames everyone else for his addiction. Whereas actually, he had a wonderful support network around him and massive opportunities in life.
Such a shame as I now wish I hadn’t listened to it.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 06-11-2022

Don't bother

it's shocking how this man sees women as social commodities and yet the saviours of his dreams!!

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  • T. Greb
  • 06-11-2022

Could not finish it

I read all but the last hour of the book. I kept hoping if I power through the book it would get better. But it didn't. MP is an addict. I get it, it's a disease. But frankly that disease does not excuse you to be a selfish, cruel, egoistic. Frankly a terrible writer. The book is repetitive (I am sure its a clever play on addiction being repetitive), dull and left me without any empathy to Matty. Yes, you did do it to yourself and you do like the drama that being an ever relapsing addict grants you. I'm promptly returning this book. (Yes you can do that)

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  • Barry
  • 02-11-2022

Utterly harrowing

Thank you so much for writing in so much detail about so many personal things. This book kept me up all night listening. I really feel like I understand the Big Terrible Thing so much better now, Obviously I will never understand fully, but you have really opened my eyes to the reality of addiction. This is such a valuable book. I intend to get a couple of copies into the school library at the first opportunity. It will do so much more than years of staff standing up in front of classes trying to teach about addiction in PSHE

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  • Rebecca bannister
  • 01-11-2022

Poor me

Hmmm,
It appears all his problems was caused by someone else....
Poor poor me...

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  • Leila
  • 10-11-2022

Exhausting

As a fan of Friends I’m sorry I read this book. I wasn’t expecting a barrel of laughs. I knew the subject matter. But the sheer ‘sorry for myself’ thread that ran all the way through this left me feeling exhausted and just wanting to shake Matthew Perry. I hope now he’s clean that he’s doing something more useful with his millions (including proceeds from this book) than buying 10,000 square foot apartments ‘with a view’, only to live in what seems to be three rooms. Harsh critique I know, but if anyone is considering buying this I can only say, spare yourself. It’s nothing but narcissistic offloading.

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  • Sniffy and Particular
  • 06-11-2022

Is this a form of subtle satire perhaps?

Well I'm confused. Steve Coogan came out with the brilliant satire of "Alan Partridge" the cheesy media presenter and we all had a good laugh. Is Mathew Perry, a genius comic actor, doing the same thing here - except - he hasn't changed his name?
Because his description of himself is so negative, endlessly, like Japanese Water Torture, drop-drip-drop-drip..... that after 20 hours you end up thinking "Surely this is a subtle form of satire. This can't be real, can it?" If it is real, his Editor must have been on holiday.
All I've learnt is that Perry is in the habit of making use of women for sex. (He calls it "Friends with Benefits" ) and then when bored with them, he throws them away as if they were used tissue-paper, He has a psycho-babble excuse for that carry-on. Something to do with his self-pity problem. Hmm... I think it is the age-old problem of men not seeing women as human?

He also has the audacity to complain about his life, when millions in the USA are starving, homeless and desperate. This gets a bit ridiculous at first and by hour twenty, it is like being stuck on a plane with a crying child. Deeply irritating. The man just doesnt stop the self-pity. He assumes he is being "revealing", but I'm not sure if he knows what it is that he is revealing. The revelation seem both out of control and given with an expectation that the audience is stupid.
He was on UK television debating with Peter Hitchens. His words about Peter Hitchens were very cruel - but - that might be due to the fact that a man of Hitchens' generation, doesn't really "do" self pity. He made this clear to Mathew Perry. It was an exchange between the "Real" men of the War-Generation, and the "Pity-Me Men" of the Peter Pan generation. Fascinating TV - and Hitchens of course, did win. Perry seems very cross about that still. Waspish, in fact.

I loved his performance on Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. He should be proud of that, but he didn't seem to be. He plays a character (TV writer/producer) who is intent on destroying his on/off girlfriend, (Sarah Paul) because he hates the fact that she is a Christian. She compromises her Christian faith by having sex outside marriage with the TV writer played by Perry. She expects a marriage proposal, but doesn't get one. Instead, what she gets is psychological cruelty, brilliantly written, whereby the TV writer attempts to "replace" her faith in God, with a sex-based faith in HIM. He slowly destroys her until by the end of the series, she writes her own death-sentence by opting for his "I will have sex with you, but never marry you", dictatorship. A horrible thing. It is a brilliant study in cruelty and manipulation, dressed up as "love". Surely Perry noticed this? It would have been nice to hear his "take" on this very unusual story from Aaron Sworkin. "Love" disguising pure hatred.

My conclusion is that I would like to hear ANOTHER book from Mathew Perry. A book which charts his choice to give away all his money to the needy, while he gets himself a useful-to-society job. Something that will give him an idea of the value of health, of life, of people, of the dollar earnt. He may have squandered his life but he's not dead yet.

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  • Lisa
  • 07-11-2022

Prepare to like Matthew Perry less?

Left me feeling annoyed, the man who has everything whining about his addictions. I don’t wish to sound unsympathetic, but it’s not an uplifting story. Not sure why he wrote it.

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