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Publisher's Summary

Zack lost his job, his apartment, and his hope, which is why he ends up on the roof of a high-rise, certain that one final step will solve his problems. But a mysterious stranger named Rob happens to be on the roof that night too. He talks Zack down, convincing him there's still hope left in the world. Zack thinks maybe he's right, which is why he's shocked when he turns on the news the next morning to find out Rob jumped himself. Disturbed and confused, he searches for answers, starting with Rob's brother, Tommy Rayburn.

It's been Tommy's job to take care of his brother since they were kids, taking the blows from their father so Rob wouldn't have to. Tommy thought he could protect him, even if it meant carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Considering Rob threw himself off a building, he obviously couldn't.

Then he meets Zack, a friend of Rob's who's suspiciously evasive about how they knew each other. But they're both grieving and determined to find out why Rob jumped. Answers don't come easily, and soon they're soothing each other with sweat-slicked, passionate encounters. Hot as things get in the bedroom, it doesn't take them long to realize there's more between them than mind-blowing sex and their pain. But the heaviness is still there, threatening to pull them under, and if they can't open up with each other to lighten the load, the weight just might be enough to crush them both.

©2016 Devon McCormack, Riley Hart (P)2017 Devon McCormack, Riley Hart

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Kate M
  • 21-11-2017

Amazing!!

This book is full of emotions! You'll laugh and cry, and it is so 🔥🔥. I devoured this book. Riley hart and Devon McCormack are two of my favorite authors, and Michael Pauley is an amazing narrator.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • Erryn Barratt
  • 11-12-2017

Fabulous Writing Duo and great narration

This is the first collaboration between Riley Hart & Devon McCormack and it has led to a wonderfully productive relationship. But this, their first foray into partnership, speaks to their strengths as writers because even through the heavy emotional subjects of depression and suicide, there were moments where I was laughing out loud, moments where I was gripped with tears, and times where the sex was, well, hot. The fact it was often a coping mechanism for the psychological pain made it all the more poignant.

There are three characters in this book. Zack who has hit rock bottom – no job, no money, and living out of his car, Tommy – mired in grief, and soldiering on, but hurting, and Rob – Tommy’s younger brother who has committed suicide. For their entire lives, Tommy was responsible for Rob (in fact and in his heart). Now Tommy is searching for answers to the most painful question – why did Rob jump off a building?

Zack was on that roof with Rob and is also mired in grief and guilt because he would never have left Rob alone had he known the young man was going to jump. Zack shows up at Tommy’s door, hoping Rob’s older brother has answers and when Tommy discovers Zack saw Rob that horrible night, he thinks Zack might be able to explain what happened and why. That’s the question – why did Rob jump?

But short of being inside Rob’s head, is it really possible to know why?

For those of us who have lost someone to suicide, even a note doesn’t really tell the whole story. Guilt is common because you always ask if there was something you could have done to change the outcome. And if you’ve ever suffered with profound clinical depression, you know how much you just want the pain to end. Suicide looks like a way to end the suffering and in that altered mental state, you convince yourself that the people around you will be better off without you.

These are heavy topics, but they are offset by moments of levity and of affection.

Zack knows that if Tommy discovers he was on the roof with Rob that night, everything in their relationship will change. All the good things that are happening between them will come to an abrupt end.

Tommy, for his part, can see Zack has fallen on hard times. In the end, he couldn’t help Rob, but maybe redemption is possible and the self-recriminations will come to an end if he helps Zack.

Watching two sensitive men suffer is heart-wrenching, but I promise you the pain is worth it because of the reward at the end. Because sometimes love can come out of the darkness. Because sometimes having someone believe in your is enough to make you want to seek out a better life. And sometimes you find love in the least expected places.

My heart ached but was made whole again as I listened to the book. Narrator Michael Pauley was fabulous. Michael is a favourite of Riley and Devon, and now he’s one of my favs as well. He told the story with the right emotions, unobtrusive yet perfectly relaying the angst, and in the end, the love.

There are no simple answers in this book – as there are so rarely in life – but sometimes the journey is enough.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Bookworm250
  • 26-11-2017

Love and Loss

Has been a while since I read this book but I knew it was going be a hard listen. It is full of loss, hope, love and forgiveness. Zach and Tommy find each other when they need all of these things the most. But secrets have a way of coming to the surface- can their love survive it? Michael Pauley nails the narration like he always does by wringing out every ounce emotion from the written word. Highly recommend!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • TNI
  • 13-12-2017

Michael Pauley, oh boy.

the story was pretty good. I enjoyed all the different point of views. it really makes you think about how messed up our Mental Health Care system is. the narration was a bit different. I always enjoy Michael Pauly and i think he does a fantastic job but there are times where I feel like he's a bit too much. There was some times where the scene just did not require as much emotion as he gave it. All in all I'm not a hundred percent sure if I would recommend this book to someone nor do I think I will reread it. I still enjoy Raleigh Hart and Devon McCormick as authors.

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Denise
  • 27-05-2018

awesome!<br />

I would give this story a 6 if I could! This story made me cry during while I listened to the whole audio version. They did an excellent job in showing how each character felt. Zack the one who was with Rob, Tom who is Rob's brother, and even Rob. Rob broke my heart! This is so we'll written, it seamed real.

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  • ILoveBooksSue
  • 09-05-2018

I just knew this one would hurt

Do you ever just look at a title and know that the story will hurt, in a good way, but hurt all the same?Yeah, so I hesitated for a while to listen to this for just that reason. I know that Riley and Devon have the innate talent to draw in the reader/listener and I also know that Michael Pauley has a way about him that just makes the characters come alive. I cried today, right along with Zach and Tommy. I cried today for their loss, their pain and their love but not because i pitied them but because I felt it right along with them. It was like I was there with them. Every scene in this book is mapped out for you, the reader, to feel, to live and breathe, right along with the characters. I will listen to this again but not now. Right now, my nerve endings are raw and my heart is full. Thank you...you will never know how much you truly touch people's lives.

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  • Alex
  • 15-02-2018

Emotional rollercoaster that never lets up

The very unique plot of this book will stun you, I hope to God it is not a true story because there can never be any acceptable resolution to this kind of pain. I know from experience.

Happily the sex is equally vivid and thrillng; giddy heights we can all strive to achieve...

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  • Smitten with Reading
  • 15-01-2018

B+ rating...

My Review:
Overall: 4.0
Performance: 4.25
Story: 4.0

Read the premise of this story and you know that it's going to be an emotional one. And it was...but I never felt that it was too depressing or hard to take. I actually enjoyed getting to see Zack and Tommy work through their grief/sadness/confusion about Rob's suicide together. I thought the authors did a really good job of balancing that so that the book wasn't depressing, although the sadness definitely lingers throughout the story.

Both of these guys are hurting, but it was hard to see how much Zack needs something more. He was on that roof for a reason, and that didn't miraculously go away. And then the thoughts of what will happen to Tommy if Zack somehow goes off the deep end again...it's terrifying.

But beyond belief, these two guys find true happiness with one another. Zack's secret is still out there lurking though and the reader knows it's eventually going to come out.

I did enjoy this one. I liked both the characters. I could empathize with both characters. My heart hurt for what both of them are going through. Overall, I just really liked this story and enjoyed the audiobook...a lot.

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  • aj taylor
  • 12-01-2018

tear jerker

loved this book erotic emotional storytelling I did not know whether to cry or blush.

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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Lord_Theoden
  • 25-12-2017

Brilliant!!

This book was great the story was so real, the narration my God I'm not a big fan of Michael pauley but he was so needed for this book. It took me on an emotional rollercoaster. This book opens you up and exposed every emotion. The bittersweet ending was perfect and I know this is one of those books that will stay with me for a long long time.