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Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou Audiobook

Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou: The Tome of Bill Series: Books 1-4

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Publisher's Summary

There are reasons we fear the dark. Bill Ryder...isn't one of them. Gamer, geek, and legendary vampire - The Tome of Bill is the tale of an unlikely hero trying to survive in a world of undead horrors. Despite awesome supernatural powers, loyal allies, and an attitude the size of Brooklyn, the odds are still stacked heavily against him. Bill Ryder must fulfill his destiny and save the world from the ancient terrors that threaten it - all while trying to work up the nerve to ask out the girl of his dreams.

©2013 Rick Gualtieri (P)2015 Rick Gualtieri

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.5 (18 )
5 star
 (11)
4 star
 (5)
3 star
 (2)
2 star
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Overall
4.5 (17 )
5 star
 (11)
4 star
 (4)
3 star
 (2)
2 star
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1 star
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Story
4.5 (17 )
5 star
 (10)
4 star
 (5)
3 star
 (2)
2 star
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Performance
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  •  
    Yacob 06/06/2016
    Yacob 06/06/2016 Member Since 2015
    HELPFUL VOTES
    2
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    46
    13
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Nerdy Vampire"

    Amazingly funny often sill book, great story with very versatile characters. Many twists and turns.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Lummy 22/05/2016
    Lummy 22/05/2016 Member Since 2015
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    133
    2
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "A great story and a fine performance"

    This is an awesome collection. I can't wait to get started on the next book.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
Sort by:
  • Bill Bucket
    18/11/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "How the books are divided inside:"
    Any additional comments?

    If, like me you listened to the first and/or second book before seeing or wanting this omnibus edition here is how the books are divided, so you can skip to the new material:

    Book 1 - Starts on Chapter 01
    Book 2 - Starts on Chapter 28
    Book 3 - Starts on Chapter 54
    Book 4 - Starts on Chapter 95

    Should save some skipping around and accidentally getting any spoilers. Very funny books, I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

    36 of 36 people found this review helpful
  • Cris
    23/06/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Thanks for killing the Edward Image!!!"
    What made the experience of listening to Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou the most enjoyable?

    A flawed 'Hero' Love Bill and Sally team!! Not for the easily offended, delicate female sensibilities. Tired of seeing women bag on this book. I only read books with strong female characters and this has it!! Bill is a pawn in play and the toughest women are running the show.


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    Sally!! People that complains about the way women are viewed fails to embrace the fact that the character with the most brains and balls in this book is one. If you don't like the strong kick a** female who embraces he inner b**ch go back to waiting for your big strong Edward to save you and being tied up with gray things, eye roll.


    What does Christopher John Fetherolf bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    Brings out the goof in Bill perfect.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Visit from my second favorite kick a** female Gan. What would Bill be without those frisky she vamps in his afterlife?


    Any additional comments?

    What a refreshing escape from the offended by every little thing world and media. This book is thankfully not politically correct thank goodness.

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  • JENNIFER BACKUS
    Manitowoc, Wisconsin United States
    4/08/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Can't do it!"

    I downloaded this book because it was 30 some hours for one credit and I like to get my money's worth... And now I want my money back.
    Everyone is entitled to their opinion and here's mine.
    The story was boring, the characters were cardboard, the narrator made me want to scratch my ears off.
    I can handle sarcasm but not unfunny useless sarcasm constantly thrown around. And how many times can a guy call a woman "bitch" and think it's funny?
    I listened about three hours then realized I had just scratched the surface and had no interest in seeing what came next (probably not too much). Will be returning this book in the morning.

    6 of 9 people found this review helpful
  • STEVEN
    Ohio
    6/04/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Freaking great."
    Would you listen to Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou again? Why?

    Maybe down the road, as I really enjoyed the stories.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou?

    The intro of Turd :) lol.


    What does Christopher John Fetherolf bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    He's great. For me he IS Bill.


    Who was the most memorable character of Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou and why?

    Bill or one of his two friends


    Any additional comments?

    Keep them coming!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Bartleby the Scrivener
    Indanapolis, IN United States
    21/10/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Problems with the narrator"
    Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

    I would recommend this to friends, while advising them of pronunciation issues.


    What didn’t you like about Christopher John Fetherolf’s performance?

    The narrator's performance is great in terms of cadence, inflection, and keeping the story moving, but he's sorely lacking in areas of pronunciation. For example, 'voila' is pronounced 'voi-la', not 'vio-la' (like the musical instrument), 'Tatooine' (Luke Skywalker's home planet) is pronounced, 'Tattoo-een', not 'Tattoo-knee.' 'Caste' (the word referring to the methods of formal social stratification in some countries and groups) rhymes with 'cast' and not 'cased.'

    If you're going to narrate professionally, get a copy of the NBC Handbook, Fowler's Modern English Usage, or The Big Book of Beastly Mispronunciations first.


    Any additional comments?

    Overall, it's a very good story, but the narrator's mispronunciation turns it from a nice five star experience to a high three or low four star experience.

    20 of 28 people found this review helpful
  • Tom
    25/05/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Stay away"

    1 part was ok then the 2 was a grind 3 I didn't finish The character had plenty of time to grow up and develop book 2 book and 3 a nightmare I had to force myself to listen to it worst vampire book ever that I came across the first book gave a lot of hope and the rest is just not worth even mentioning

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Amazon Customer
    12/05/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "the main character dies not change."

    the first book is great, because this is a series the assumption is that the main character will grow and evolve. this is not the case reading past the first book will leave you frustrated and angry at the waste of time invested. the main character has no respect for women as individuals. there is nothing about the main character that makes you think he is worth anything he thinks he should get including: respect from anyone or love from the women he is stalking. this character is largely disappointing because the author alludes to growth and it never hapoens. the only thing this main character has going for him is freaking dumb blind luck and an author who decided that the mentality of a 15 year old male virgin was the best place to be for the rest of your life. sorely disappointed.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • HE who SMILES
    8/05/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Immature garbage"

    The title should have given it away, but I got suckered in by good reviews. Wasted credit. And OH GOD I rather listen to Steven King then this VA!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Tyler U.
    10/04/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "I very much enjoyed this book"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    In short, yes. I already recommended this audiobook to a couple of friends who have similar taste in books.


    What did you like best about this story?

    I loved the irreverent nature of the book and enjoyed the combination of the main character's internal monologue and story.


    Which character – as performed by Christopher John Fetherolf – was your favorite?

    Obviously, Bill would be a favorite. After all, he's the Free Will, and the main character. I really enjoyed several characters, though, as the narrator did a great job of bringing the characters to life.


    Who was the most memorable character of Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou and why?

    I loved the friends that Bill surrounds himself with. The love/hate relationship with Sally, the stoic, borderline sociopath Eric, the annoying moron, Tom... loved them all.


    Any additional comments?

    I really enjoyed this series and will definitely pick the rest of them up, even though they aren't in a boxed set.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • ROBERT A. DALUZ
    22/03/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Love, love these books!!"
    What made the experience of listening to Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou the most enjoyable?

    They are laugh out loud funny! From the first few sentences I was hooked! I had to buy the whole series. I love the narrator he sounds just like what I imagine Bill would be like.


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    Of course it's Bill. I enjoy his smart aleck quips and come backs.


    What does Christopher John Fetherolf bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    He brings the book and Bill to life! He is great! How he reads this book was one reason I bought the whole series.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Not only the book but the whole series! I have a long stressful commute to work and back and listening to this series helps a lot to get away from it all. I probably look like a crazy person sitting in my car alone in traffic laughing.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
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  • Peter Sweeney
    Durham
    23/05/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Bill rules!"

    Not only is this four books for the price of one, but it's more importantly four superb books!

    The characters are really likeable, the humour is great and the story lines are surprising and well thought out! Can't recommend it enough and can't wait to get the next book either!

    If I could find any negatives, the recap bits explaining what has happened in previous books is a tad annoying at times (maybe because I listened to them one after another) but also because why would you read/listen to book two, three or four without reading the previous!

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  • Helen Ingall
    England
    17/04/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "bill series"

    Loved it a great listen to and easy to follow with twists and turns all the way. cannot wait hear the next episode.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  • Peter
    28/09/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "fantastic and fun."

    I enjoyed every minute of every book. Some great nerd culture references and well sustained humour as well as some kick ass fight scenes. These characters have become, as all the great ones do, good friends of mine. looking forwards to the next on the list.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  • Andrew Abbott
    11/09/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "disappointing!"

    The story was good enough, though dragged out in places. However, the telling of the story seems to be done in a style that would probably insult a large majority of people; the male characters are written as either dumb yet attractive, or ugly intellectual geeks, the women as purely sex objects, and any that have an independent thought, instantly described as a 'b**ch'. The majority of jokes are either toilet humour, or just foul language for the sake of it. For most of the story, I just thought the author needed to get laid.
    The main twists can be seen coming a mile away, and the evil plans from the villains are generally nonsensical. There are a number of other annoyances, but I would have to give spoilers away.
    In short, there is an audience for a story like this, probably a mid-teen male who is already desensitised to colourful language.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • andy c
    31/08/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "brilliant witty and funny"

    great book funny witty and brilliant. well worth it such an enjoyable book with likeable characters.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Jeff
    united kingdom
    24/07/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "totally awesome "
    What made the experience of listening to Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou the most enjoyable?

    the writing of the book is just well class it is funny, nerdy, childish and entertaining all at the same time


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    sally is a awesome bitch


    What about Christopher John Fetherolf’s performance did you like?

    just down right narrated like omg


    If you made a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

    nerd meets the darkness


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Shoghun
    South Yorkshire
    5/07/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Hilarious and Annoying at the same time!"

    This is a great value collection that's a must for fans of fantasy and comedy. The story of a geek being turned into a vampire is original and very funny albeit frustrating at times. I often found myself angry at Bill's stupidity but I guess that just shows the author's skill at drawing you in and believing the character created.

    As an Englishman, I find listening to an American narrator a little difficult and can believe that the same is true for listeners across the pond listening to a British accented narrator. I'm not saying that it wasn't performed well, it was but I found the American accent difficult to listen to and a little unemotional at times.

    Overall it was very enjoyable and I found myself laughing out loud a number of times. An entertaining buy and one I would recommend.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • BJXRN
    18/06/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Story OK but humor unsophisticated and crude"
    Is there anything you would change about this book?

    Less crude underpanties-humor. For that reason stopped listening early.


    Would you be willing to try another book from Rick Gualtieri? Why or why not?

    No. Authors tend to be consistent in their language and humor.


    Could you see Bill the Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou being made into a movie or a TV series? Who would the stars be?

    The percentage of people who can identify with the hero is small. Single gamers mainly.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Diz
    Birmingham
    7/11/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "oh bill!!"

    loved it. Need more. bill is my type of guy lol Sally is so cool

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful

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