My public disclosure statement, and review.

I'm an indie author myself (as many people are), of speculative fiction. I know there is some serious potential money to be made in these quick one off sexual releases, and yes I intended the wording of that statement precisely how it read.

I bought 'Backdoor Business' as R&D to examine what kind of content and writing style goes into these things, and write this review now more as a preemptive disclaimer, just in case I find myself in court one day, and the prosecution are looking for ammunition in building a character profile. It also helps to back me up in the event a potential female suitor goes through my audible reading list. No, Bee, I am not an 'anal guy', and promise you can live the rest of your life with me feeling no pressure in that respect... unless of course you're into that, which in that case you should feel no reluctance in approaching such a subject with me. Hopefully by now you should already know that in those more adventurous areas of intimacy, 'I'm cool'.

Anyway, as for the review, I will write a shorter spoiler-free review, then follow it with more detail including spoilers.

'Backdoor Business' by Ruth Blaque -if that is indeed your real name- I guess serves its purpose in terms of what I, as a straight man, assume excites the female reader. It constructs and builds the setting well, and justifies and explains things with backstory and setting, but doesn’t slow it down, leaving you with few distracting questions to break the narrative. It’s about 2 parts lead up, 1 part jiggy. It builds the tension between “Marni” a hot, insecure, slightly prudish and a little needy business chick, and “Kyle” some Italian superman uber-creeper weirdo, as much as it can in the 24mins it allows for itself.

Ultimately I felt it could probably have served to explore the character’s emotional and physical experience better while the actual “bid’nezz” was going down. Because the book is obviously focused upon anal, I imagine the female readers are probably reading this more to gain an insight into that kind of experience… I dunno. That whole aspect though seems to just become a non-issue in this story once it progresses beyond the cliché of “you just need to relax”. I think that where Backdoor Business let's it down a bit.

That being said though, that’s probably just how women prefer these books. Once the excitement and build up in these types of stories is done, women probably just prefer to ‘let the guy do whatever’ and the actual penetration stage ain’t too important to them; he could be sticking it in her ear for all they care. And with that in mind though I will say this; this work is definitely more for women than men. Guys should just hit pornhub or something because they’re not going to get much out of it. My reasoning for that statement though I’ll save for the post-spoiler section of this review.

Note: The woman who reads it has a pretty hot voice, so all good.

Now, is it worth the $5? While you’re in the mood, probably yes; after you’re done, probably no… but ain’t that the goddamn story of life?

SPOILERS SECTION. Do not read below this point if you’re considering buying ‘Backdoor Business’ by Ruth Blaque.

So now to break down this work point by point. Now yes, when reading/listening to this, obviously it is intended for a titillating context, and you’re not meant to look too much into it. So it is important to read the following, and hold from judging this work, under that allowance.

As stated above, ultimately I found it a little underwhelming, or at least anti-climactic; it seems once all the mystery and build up happens it just breezes through the sex -especially the anal part- in no time, with little description physical or emotional at all. Considering that’s supposed to be intention and focus of the whole thing, it’s again underwhelming, and I would’ve thought Marni’s first experience with that would have come to her as being more profound. However, again, I’m a guy. I imagine women prefer it that way, with emphasis more on the build up and fantasy rather than the actual act. And it’s really good that women allow themselves to delve so much into fantasy, as when breaking down a realistic interpretation of the events of ‘Backdoor Business’ this book is freaken insane.

Let’s start with a realistic play-by-play of Marni’s experience. She works for some fashion beauty company of some… something… doing something, and this company has sent her out to Butte (Butt? I see what you did there, Ruth) Montana, to meet with ‘a client’ to create an ad for them. She is given no info on the client, other than that the head guy is named ‘Kyle Rose’. Through her own research she deduces that this guy owns something like twelve companies under “Rose Industries”, a corp apparently pretty integral to the fashion industry… despite Marni having never heard of them.

So, Marni has been sent to a ‘middle of nowhere’ location in Montana, her boss has specifically ‘wanted her to go alone’, to deal with a company which apparently owns an empire of businesses across the country, so which could really host this meeting anywhere. Now upon arrival at the offices, Marni finds it is a rented office, on the forth floor, and there’s no elevator. She bends over to take off her shoes, and finds a hot Italian guy who straight up says in a strong Italian accent that he "enjoys the view". That’s the first thing he says to her. But he’s hot, so… you know, whatever.

Of course, this is ‘Kyle Rose’, though we learn this later. It is a name however which considering his accent, Marni had to assume was an alias regardless of his subsequent rather convenient explanation. Anyway this guy then makes her climb the staircase, while showing that he himself can dash up and down it at will. The moment they meet again in his office he gets physical with her ‘straight away’, touching Marni’s lower back to ‘guide her to the chair’. His very next action is dismissing his secretary Maria to lunch, basically telling her to leave Marni with him alone.

Now yes, this is addressed in the book with Marni ‘wondering why she wasn’t panicking right now’, but the explanation she arrives to is that it’s because this guy’s hot. It truly does go to justify my theory that a male ‘10’ could literally punch a woman straight in the face, and she’d figure out some way of interpreting it as affection.

Anyway, ‘Kyle’ goes on to deliver the cover story for his alias, and explains that somehow his creative influence over his inherited successful perfume company has ultimately led them to have this meeting in Butte Montana, the clear mecca of the cosmetics industry. He then goes on to telling Marni she should be a cover girl, and otherwise leaving no confusion over the fact that he’s ‘on for her’. Maria then comes in, delivers a coffee to each of them, poured notably out of sight, so to which Marni has no reason to not believe hasn’t been spiked, and then ‘flashed her an amused smile’ before leaving them for lunch, thus isolating Marni with this guy, with no easy means for safe extraction, due to stairs he -as displayed before- can negotiate at will, and thus have no troubles at all in catching her if she wanted to leave… in Butte Montana.

And this is where it happens. ‘Kyle’ reaches across the table to take Marni’s hand, and tells her straight out “I set this whole thing up”. He explains that he was at their company, in San Diego, had already decided to work with them, but saw Marni in the distance and told her boss to send her out to Butte freaken Montana to meet with him, under these circumstances, and to specifically not to tell Marni anything about it. Why? Because as an executive, he gets too many gold diggers, and Marni somehow seemed different to him, despite obviously having never shared two words nor even a glance between each other, considering her not previously even knowing of his existence.

Her boss of course, 'Missy', agreed to this plan in its entirety.

'Kyle' then virtually openly admits he sent Maria away specifically so those two could get it on. Marni ‘NOW’ gets self conscious and says “I’m not a one night gal”, gets up to leave, dude though then jumps up, pulls her back, grabs her face and her ‘rear’ and lays one on her. The book then delivers the following sentence:

“Marni should have pushed him off and continued on her way, but she didn’t have the presence of mind, the willpower, or the idiocy to do such a thing”.

Again… ‘hot guy’.

So anyway, yeah, ‘Kyle’ locks the door and they get down… for some reason with him leaving his sleeveless t-shirt on and nothing else. I guess women like that look. He pulls some bollocks excuse about not having a condom (ahhh yes), despite having set this entire Joker-esque ploy into play (something tells me a guy like this, with those looks, financial means, manipulative techniques, and those sheer, freaken, mammoth, balls, who’s surrounded by gold diggers 24/7, ain’t rolling without a condom unless he specifically plans to do so). This reasoning of course naturally leads Marni to giving up the booty with no freaken contention… which something tells me she probably would’ve done for this guy had he just stepped straight to her in San Diego weeks ago and said “Yo, Kyle here, I’m rich. So am I getting in that back or what?”

I mean Jesus Christ, the moment this guy admitted he set this whole thing up, I’m surprised chicky didn’t take a bat to him. Now THAT would’ve been a twist. If a guy with his influence in the fashion industry actually went through all of this and set that kind of heist up in real life, with those conditions, he would be ‘done’; he would be ‘ended’. He would be on feminist blogs and Jezabel articles all across the internet. There is NO WAY a guy of that financial stature -hot as he may be- would risk that, or be that imperceptive, no way. His lawyers and partners at least would be telling him to rub one out and think about it first. His companies would have folded under a sexual harassment suit years ago ‘if’ he hadn’t already been shot beforehand.

But then we have to take it from his perspective. Once ‘Kyle’ finally gets his chance at “all a’that”, he and Marni then agree to start meeting again in the future, and potentially start dating… NUP, sorry Ruth, not buying it. This guy is hot as hell, filthy rich, and lives his life surrounded by models. He also has some ‘major’ stratosphere level of gall with women, where he has obviously never had any woman turn him down ‘ever’.

This kinda dude ain’t just suddenly ‘going monogamous’ just because some hottie opened the boot five minutes after walking through the door. I mean despite this guy’s own excessive and clearly unnecessary efforts to get at her, this chick not only got down ‘immediately’ upon learning of his very existence, but even did her first anal! She is clearly not an example of ‘strong-willed’ feminine support a guy with that level of financial wealth can risk legally having anywhere near his fortune. As ‘on for her’ as this weirdo might have initially been, post-coital hindsight is 20/20, and he would have been sitting there afterwards analysing the situation, realising the sheer gullibility and neediness of this chick he had just involved his business with, not to mention the depth of the ethical quagmire and potential legal threat his ‘impressive member’ had just landed him in, and suddenly wondering how much longer Maria was going to be taking for lunch.

What should’ve happened was the moment Marni triggered onto this nutcase’s game, she should’ve smashed a perfume bottle across his desk, taken the cigarette, “Hey Fabio, how bout I light your fire,” FWOOM, lit up the entire office, shoulder barged the &^$&er right through the window onto the fire escape, surfed him down the stairs, pumps jammed into his back, then spent the next five minutes of the book railing the fire crews who came to ‘save her’. Final scene; Marni is strutting off down the road like she don’giv’a’&%$ to head back to San Diego to take revenge on her boss who tried to pimp her for her own financial gain, with the exhausted firemen watching and commenting "Now there goes a right fine piece of ayshe". Now 'that’s' your erotic ending right there.

Man, maybe I will start writing these things after all.

Three stars. Chicks will dig it.

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