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Publisher's Summary

'I am a British soldier,' I told my reflection. 'I am a British soldier and I'm saving lives. I'm saving lives. I'm a British soldier and I'm saving lives....'

Kevin Fulton was one of the British Army's most successful intelligence agents. Having been recruited to infiltrate the Provisional IRA at the height of the Troubles, he rose its ranks to an unprecedented level. Living and working undercover, he had no option other than to take part in heinous criminal activities, including the production of bombs which he knew would later kill. So highly was he valued by IRA leaders that he was promoted to serve in its infamous internal police - ironically, his job was now to root out and kill informers.

Until one day in 1994, when it all went wrong....

Fleeing Northern Ireland, Kevin was abandoned by the security services he had served so courageously and left to live as a fugitive. The life of a double agent requires constant vigilance, for danger is always just a heartbeat away. For a double agent within the highest ranks of the IRA, that danger was doubled. In this remarkable account, Kevin Fulton - former intelligence agent, ex-member of the IRA - tells a truth that is as uncomfortable as it is gripping.

©2019 Kevin Fulton (P)2019 Bonnier Books UK

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Eye Openet

Wonderful book. Disgraceful how Kevin was treated by the various security services in the United Kingdom. He was a patriot who worked undercover in the most violent of terror groups The IRA. It takes a special individual to work covertly for such a long time. He is a target now and a target then by the group he infiltrated and the British government. Great read. Congratulations to you Kevin Fulton and extremely brave man.

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  • J.Brock
  • 20-08-2020

After a Second Try...

I reviewed this book harshly the first time I tried to listen. Once again, this is just further proof that sometimes you need to stop a book and delisted later. It can be a mood, whatever that makes all the difference. And I found this book to be a most compelling read after taking another look. Kevin Fulton's story is very complicated and sad. How he was abandoned by his British handlers, while infiltrating the IRA, is shocking. The Omagh bombing in 1998 could have been prevented had authorities acted on his tip. He literally was abandoned by those he trusted. He committed some atrocious crimes as a part of the IRA, but it is plain he felt deep remorse for what he did. He did it with the purpose of informing for British intelligence. But this came with a steep cost.

Stephen Armstrong's narration is incredible. What a story. The IRA's violence and cruelty know no bounds, and he captures Fulton's anguish perfectly.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Buretto
  • 26-10-2019

Dupe or sociopath?

Listening to this audiobook, one is meant to believe that the author is an incredibly gullible dupe, motivated not by ideology or religious zealotry, but by a tenuous rationalization of the patriotic duty of a soldier. Which conveniently allows him to skirt any responsibility for his atrocities (notwithstanding the legal constraints outlined restricting what he can say).

It's apt that the first line of the book is "All I ever wanted was to be a British soldier". It has the faint echo of Henry Hill in the film "Goodfellas" who says "As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster." Like Hill, this author, is short on credibility, and has trouble recognizing his own culpability in his crimes, preferring to blame his handlers in British intelligence for the crimes he "allegedly" committed for the IRA. While there's little doubt of the truth of the despicably immoral activity of intelligence agencies worldwide, it leaves the author in the position of seeming to be either incredibly stupid, or a sociopath. My impression is the latter. There is half-hearted relief expressed at near-misses (of course, the hits are coyly referenced through legalese), but little in the way of recognition of his own behavior. He even rationalizes his activity in body counts, pro and con, people he's killed versus people he's saved (though I don't know if NOT killing someone is the same as saving them). All his energy seems focused on placing blame on others for putting him in that position.

That being said, it is an engrossing listen. It's not particularly well written, but it delivers what it promises, the secret life of an undercover agent, though lacking a bit in self-awareness and accountability.

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  • Bandit Country
  • 10-04-2021

Newry - Dundalk

Book was a great read,
Grew up in the troubles took it all for granted.

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  • 6catz
  • 03-05-2021

Wow

You may think Fulton’s claims are entirely self-serving. You may think he was misguided or a traitor and has questionable personal mantras he’s created in order to live with himself. You may think he’s an unsung hero of an insane conflict where both sides lost sight of of any moral clarity. I found myself researching his claims in Irish newspapers, on Google and YouTube and found a lot to support the veracity of the facts as he related them. One thing’s for sure: this is one hell of a tale, and whatever you think of this man and his motives, he got spectacularly screwed by the British spooks of the time. His story and other identical stories are still under investigation. What a read.

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  • Ste Whittingham
  • 27-02-2020

Gripping

A very interesting look inside the workings of the IRA. Kevin Fulton seemed to enjoy the violence whilst using the excuse that he was saving lives. I as the reader felt like it didn't really matter which side he was batting for, as long as he got to play with bullets and bombs.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-01-2020

bad fake accent but content excellent

would have given 5 stars, but the fake northern ireland accent was very hard to listen to, especially being from Ireland and close to the border. could hear the UK accent coming through a lot. great insight into the troubles though!

4 people found this helpful

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  • Kate
  • 29-07-2020

A really great listen! Gripping

A gripping story. Gives great insight into the troubles. A most enjoyable listen. The accent is a terrribly poor take-off of a Northern Irish accent, really bad, you'd wonder why they wouldn't just have hired a Northern Irish Narrator?

3 people found this helpful

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  • John Hanratty
  • 26-10-2019

the narrators fake northern accent is annoying

decent book but the narration is very hard to get past...awful fake northern irish accent

9 people found this helpful

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  • Sarah Faherty
  • 24-09-2020

Chooses his own version of history

an interesting story & a raw version of some of the horror of the troubles of some of northern Ireland, but he presents a one side portrait of the troubles, purposely leaving out the horror that so many of the Britiah army inflicted on innocent Catholics (not just the 'terrorists' as he seems to like to label the Catholic minority). I'd urge anyone who is interested in the troubles to do much more research, read more & learn more to form your own opinions ...'Say nothing' is a great place to start. Also saddened by any author who admits he will keep talking until he 'gets the money he is owned'..... a willingness to fight for justice but only until pay day.

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  • Jude Bailey
  • 05-08-2020

An amazing book

Makes me ashamed to be British reading how they treated this guy. Leaves me feeling I want to know more.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Mr
  • 30-09-2019

Gripping and Outstanding!

Rare l write a review, this is a fantastic insight into a war That was dictated as much by terrorist as it was staged by security forces. Another poor individual that was manipulated by his intelligence handlers! An epic account of an informer

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  • peter c eisner
  • 21-09-2019

Worth it

Well written & narrated. Exciting but also disturbing to know that this is the way the government and its security forces operate

2 people found this helpful

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  • Alex
  • 01-03-2021

Cripping and yet depressing

Wonderful.. Unlike other reviewers I think the narrator did a good job. The story is both sad and entertaining.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Nate
  • 11-02-2021

Narrator’s accent is annoying, but ....

once you get used to that. What a fascinating listen. The writer did an amazing job of describing the moral dilemmas Mr Fulton faced. Edge of the seat stuff, I hope the guy gets the recognition he deserves for his bravery and service.

1 person found this helpful

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