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Discipline Without Damage

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Discipline Without Damage

By: Vanessa Lapointe
Narrated by: Adrienne Fish
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About this listen

In this easy-to-listen-to, science-based book, parents, caregivers, and adults of all kinds discover how discipline affects children’s development, why intervention should reinforce connection not separation, and why the disciplinary strategies that may have been used on us as children are not the ones that children really need. As a practicing child and family psychologist and advisor to the British Columbia ministry of children and families, Dr. Vanessa has seen it all, and she has navigated hundreds of tough situations with families. Drawing on scientific research and a wealth of clinical experience, she shows you how to put out the fire without dampening your child’s spirits; how to correct their behavior while emphasizing connection; and how to discipline without damage.

©2016 Vanessa Lapointe, Registered Psychologist (British Columbia #1856) (P)2019 Audible, Inc. Child Psychology Developmental Psychology Parenting & Families Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Health Mental Health
All stars
Most relevant
I’ve read a lot, been to psychologists, courses, and done an incredible amount of soul searching in pursuit of understanding my child and solving my parenting challenges.

This book has all the answers for me and already made an incredible shift in our household. My constantly unregulated 4 year old has been really settled, kind and loving for the last couple of weeks after I changed the way I handled his meltdowns.

He’s stopped hitting his brother, stopped kicking the cat and instead is showing incredible compassion to them both. He literally stopped me and looked at me in the eye and smiled as if to say, thank you, you’ve finally got me. I can finally be at peace with the knowledge I know what my role is as the big person is.

Forever grateful

This book has been life changing - thank you

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I've read a lot of parenting books but no others contained the science & neurological explanations quite like this one! And to hear for the first time that it's not the behaviour of the child that matters...it's the behaviour of the big person that matters more. I wish society would catch up & we could have the support and encouragement that we need to grow up our kids better. Thanks Vanessa! ❤️

This book just changed my world & my kids' worlds!

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This book started off very confronting. It questions the way we have been parenting. The use of sticker charts and other ways that we are sold to get our children to behave using bribes including emotional bribes are all put under the spotlight. The mantra of see it, feel it be it resounds throughout the book but even after the 7 day and a half hours, I'm still not convinced I get it. Maybe I'm thinking too deeply about it. Maybe what she was saying is just to look at the situation and put yourself in the shoes of the child before you act.

Overall, the theme of the book is to firstly understand that children are not born with the ability to self-regulate their behaviour and literally do not possess this tool (i.e. the pre-frontal cortex) untill much later in life. Therefore, it is not possible to teach the child how to attain self-control. The alternative provided through the text is to use connection to help the child to soothe (it is proposed that on many occasions that this is allthe child is looking for and that acting out is the child's way of expressing this need).

There are some great tips in the book but it was a struggle to get through. You could probably get what your going to get out of this book by just reading half of it. I also found the crackly, slow cadence of the naration irritating. I suggest reading it at 2x speed.

Great overall theme but just a few hours too long

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I really enjoyed this book and the understandings of how children think and process things read adult we don't always think the same way must read for anyone who's looking to better them selves as apparent

Great parenting advice

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Very easy to follow with practical examples and tools. Thank you for sharing it with us

Great book that requires reading again and again

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absolutely love this book. so many lightbulb moments. it has helped me be so much more patient and empathetic with my toddlers big feelings.

a must-read for any parent

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A HUGE thankyou to the Author! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼


This book is a MUST READ for every parent, teacher, grandparents, Anybody that has any part in growing up little people, working with them, or shaping them in any way!

Easy listening, the voice was very pleasant and calming, I enjoyed listening to the sound.

As far as the content, I couldnt stop listening & finished in a day, loved the content, will listen again & again, GREAT ADVICE!

As a child, (a neurodiverse child at that)
I always wondered why all those reward charts never worked, or felt good, I thought it was me.

I'm so grateful to have the knowledge to parent in a way that feels 'right'.

Wish this book was compulsory!

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This book gives background and evidence to the approach that feels right as a parent. It also gives one the confidence to carry on

Affirmative

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All parents need this book imagine how different the world would be if we all could see it, feel it and be it! Thankyou for sharing this with the world.

All parents need this book!

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A wonderfully factual book and great tool to understand the psychology behind children’s developing brains and how we impact them. I have read a lot of parenting books and certainly recommend this one but also don’t see it as a stand alone book for parents and caregivers.
Some parts are very confronting, and challenge how most adults have been raised themselves, but in the interest of breaking the cycle and raising mentality healthy humans it is worth taking all that on the chin. I would have enjoyed it more if it had been narrated by Vanessa as I have listened to her speak before and her passion is inspiring, it would have added a level of authenticity.

Must listen for parents

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