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Publisher's Summary

A self-help book based in science, the result of more than a decade of research, Daughter Detox offers the daughters of unloving mothers vital information, guidance, and real strategies for healing from childhood experiences, and building genuine self-esteem.

Writer Peg Streep lays out seven distinct but interconnected stages on the path to reclaim your life from the effects of a toxic childhood: "discover", "discernment", "distinguish", "disarm", "reclaim", "redirect", and "recover". Each step is clearly explained and richly detailed with the stories of other women. With approaches drawn from psychology and other disciplines and with unique exercises, the book will help the listener tackle her own self-doubt and become consciously aware of how her mother's treatment continues to shape her behavior.

The message of the book is direct: What you experienced in childhood need not continue to hold you back in life. What was learned can be unlearned with effort.

The book begins with "discovery", opening up the listener's understanding of how she has been wounded and influenced by her mother's treatment. Recognizing the eight toxic maternal behaviors - dismissive, controlling, emotionally unavailable, unreliable, self-involved or narcissistic, combative, enmeshed, or role-reversed - lays the foundation for the daughter's awareness of how her way of looking at the world.

"Discernment" delves into the patterns of relationship in her family of origin and how they played a part in her development, and then shifts to looking closely at how the daughter adapted to her treatment, either silencing or losing her true self in the process.

Next up is "distinguish", seeing how the behavioral patterns we learned in childhood animate all of our relationships in the present with lovers and spouses, relatives, friends, neighbors, and colleagues. The act of distinguishing allows us to see why so many of us end up in unsatisfying relationships.

Active recovery begins with "disarm" as the daughter learns how to disconnect unconscious patterns of reaction and behavior and substitute actions that will foster the growth of self-esteem. Understanding the triggers that set us off, the cues that put us on the defensive, and the default positions of blaming ourselves and making excuses for other people's toxic behavior are addressed.

"Reclaim" is the stage at which the listener begins to actively make new choices, preparing herself so that she can live the life she desires by seeing herself as having agency and being empowered. 

Making new choices and figuring out how to manage her relationship to her unloving or toxic mother is the focus of "redirect".

Finally, "recover" challenges the listener to come up with a new definition of what it means to heal, suggests tools to overcome the obstacles she places in her own way, and strategies to become the best, most authentic version of herself.

©2017 Peg Streep (P)2018 Tantor

What listeners say about Daughter Detox

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Powerful and Empowering

This is an empowering, life changing book. It confronts some very difficult and painful truths that we as a society don’t talk about or even acknowledge, “The mother wound” a wound I’ve lived with since a little girl. Not only has this book helped me feel normal but it has given me practical examples, data and research behind its findings that I can apply to my life. This is helping me finally heal and I feel confident to create an amazing future. I Highly recommend!

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This will and has already changed my life!

Just Brilliant. I thought I knew - I clearly didn’t.
Peg Streep has done all her homework and is incredibly insightful and knows so much about psychology!

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Saved my wife's life.

This book described my wife experience of growing up to the letter. It helped her to gain enough confidence and belief in herself to take her life back and be a better mother to her own children.

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  • Vivi
  • 23-09-2018

MUST HAVE FOR NO CONTACT SUPPORT

This book is amazing, super helpful especially for those of us that have been dealing with on/off low and no contact. It is a great supplement for continuing and supporting therapy. If you are a therapist and this dynamic is new to your wheelhouse - you need this book!

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  • Amber Zeeff
  • 21-09-2018

Hits the nail on the head

I never knew I had a mother like this--and I thought it was always me...omg I am so glad to hear there others like this out there and it gives me strength to tell my story plus help many others who have ever dealt with this. Thank you so much for making me feel normal again.

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  • Jinger
  • 12-03-2020

not as helpful as I was hoping

I was expecting more tools in terms of thought process/self talk. I was not expecting to be told to journal and self reflect so much as I've already done that. I got much more out of the book Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Karyl McBride

8 people found this helpful

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  • M.R.
  • 05-12-2018

Just what I needed!!

I'm so glad I stumbled on this title. I was so hooked on this audio book that I would listen to it way past my bedtime because I wanted to hear more on this topic. The author would say something so compelling that I would shout out "YES!" and then I felt so relieved to know that it wasn't my fault. The narrator has a very pleasant reading voice, too. There is also an exercise chapter where you are highly encouraged to journal your thoughts.

5 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 03-11-2019

When they are not the enemy.

it's difficult to heal when the person is described only in terms of horrific faults and my story doesn't go that way. I am the daughter that was not loved for many years because my parents had not being loved. I remember beautiful times and painful times. I loved the honesty of this book in terms of looking at the abuse acknowledging it. what I found to be missing was space for the new one says when one's parents is not the enemy it types of vindictiveness Speights pets in the same token as I'm being given permission to acknowledge my abuse I fully believe my healing comes from understanding love cannot come from where there is no love and healing cannot come without love.

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  • Catherine Morgan
  • 04-04-2019

I have a Master's in Counseling Best book EVER!!!!

I'm going to be reading this one over and over! Sad that so many of us need this, but it is Uber healing and restorative.

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  • Danielle
  • 02-11-2019

Read This Book

If you have an inclination that there’s something “not normal” with your relationship with your mother, or if you were drawn to this audible book for one reason or another - listen to this book!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Morguepie
  • 19-10-2019

Everything I didn’t know I needed

This book is amazing. It’s helped me in so many ways, I can’t recommend this enough. If it sounds like it applies to you/your past and you think you have a lot of crap to work through, give this book a chance. You’d be surprised at how many aspects of your life may have been affected from childhood to adulthood. This book rocked the very foundation of my being, but has given me a chance to recover and begin healing wounds I didn’t know I had. I also really appreciate Streep’s more psychology/science based approach. Sorry if this review seems a little dramatic, but this book has helped me, and I hope it helps anyone else trying to recover from childhood trauma. The narration is lovely and easy to listen to I thought I‘d add.

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  • Andrea Taylor
  • 29-08-2019

Comforting, non triggering, educational

This was one of the more non triggering books on healing from a narcissistic mother that I’ve found. I think it’s because depending on how emotionally raw you’re feeling, the way she attacks the topics is less emotionally charged and more objective with “cool processing” as she puts it. Very educational and though she’s empathetic to the struggle, she’s focused more on how to effectively cope with and process a painful past from a psychological perspective/how the brain and emotions work. I find this approach to be most helpful when I’m being triggered as it helps to ground me and give me tools I can use now to change my emotional and thought processes.

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  • M
  • 08-09-2018

Best Advice Ever!!!!

I have read so many books on this subject. This is the best, research-based book I have ever read. Thank you Peg Streep!!!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Steven Watson
  • 12-10-2020

More useful title would be mother detox!

Dislike being told what to read, what’s good for me or what I need to be ‘better’! I can think for myself again! Thank god! Looking for a book that’ll help way more- How to spot a narcissist-Love Bomber lies, Gaslighting and how to ignore it, Moving on from damaging relationships, How to deal with ungrateful adult children, Disconnecting from your adult child, Helping people without a conscience, Teaching others Empathy, etc etc etc!

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  • Scrammyhand
  • 10-10-2020

Boring and ill-informed.

This book is written by someone who has self-appointed themselves as having all the answers and none of the qualifications.

1 person found this helpful

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  • beliveitbeit
  • 01-05-2020

Dissatisfied

Disappointed that there seemed to be no advice on how to actually deal with your mother aside from breaking contact completely.
Too much describing what it’s like/effects of, a narcissistic mother, not enough solution advice for me. Although there is some. Not what I was looking for though. The author seems to be too close to the subject to give objective advice. Great for someone with the same experience as the author, who ‘divorced’ her mother (Cut contact with).
I’m sorry but to divorce your mother is one of the most annoyingly stupid new modern language terms I have heard of.
The search continues...

1 person found this helpful

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  • Dora
  • 06-04-2020

I love it!

It was presented very well, and I found it was very helpful to me since I am trying to work exactly the same issue. I would definitely recommend it. I've read a few other books that made me feel they were of help, but this one is on the top of my list.

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  • Natasha G
  • 18-02-2021

Finally

For the first time my journey has been validated and understood by another human being.
The best book I have ever read!
Thank you Peg Streep x

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