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Calm Parents, Happy Kids

The Secrets of Stress-Free Parenting
Narrated by: Xe Sands
Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (127 ratings)

Non-member price: $39.50

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Publisher's Summary

Most parenting books focus on changing a child's behaviour, but the truth is that children only change when their relationship with their parents changes.

In Calm Parents, Happy Kids, Dr Laura Markham introduces an approach to parenting that eliminates threats, power struggles and manipulation, in favour of setting limits with empathy and communication.

Bringing together the latest research in brain development with a focus on emotional awareness (for both parents and children), it will appeal to all parents who don’t want to force their children into compliance and lose their temper, but want to keep calm and help their children want to behave.

©2014 Laura Markham, PhD (P)2014 Tantor Audio, Random House Audiobooks

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    4 out of 5 stars

A great parenting book!

this is a book every parent should read. I highly recommend it. great content and very pleasant narration.

2 people found this helpful

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Good principles but bad practical advice

The underlying messages of this book I believe are sound however the practical examples the author advises you to take are horribly wrong. I quote a section from Chapter 6 where the scenario is a small toddler has thrown their bowl of cereal all over the floor. The author describes the underlying reasons for the child doing this, such as jealousy of another sibling, wanting the full parent's attention, anger or frustration and the parent should, instead of shouting at the child, identify the real reason for the action (which makes sense). However after this the author then states that you should pick the child up and play with him/her, showering him/her with kisses and affection, thus rewarding the child for unacceptable behaviour. There author doesn't seem to believe in any form of discipline, but rather using affection to 'overpower' any undesired feelings of the child. I disagree with this entirely. Yes, a parent should identify the real reason behind the actions of their child and not just resort with anger and shouting - but rewarding negative behaviour is just something I won't be doing.

I looked at this book as a follow on from John Medina's Brain Rules for Baby and am still struggling to find something that is as good!

15 people found this helpful

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My favourite author and book on parenting

Every point and idea resonated with me and has helped me become a better and calm parent with higher EQ. It helped me reflect on my own childhood (authoritarian leading to chronic anxiety), and understand and correct my ideas on parenting (lacking adequate limit setting as I was trying to avoid my parents’ overly controlling style) and even clarified healthy relationships. One view that has become very clear to me thanks to the book is that all forms of punishment is just bad. I strongly feel no one should be punishing another even if it’s just emotionally regardless of the type of relationship (parent/spouse etc).

1 person found this helpful

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eye opening view for a parent

loved it, narrator had great character and exclamation of all the right parts.
the information provided was life changing for my interaction with my 3 daughters

1 person found this helpful

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life changing. exceptional. A must read!

this book should be played to every new parent!!! It honestly explains parenting in a light that just makes sense. Raising a child is enjoyable if we change our thinking, and put forth a little effort.

2 people found this helpful

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great resource

loved this book. very easy to listen to and really hit home for me. instant changes in my home when using the strategies in this book!

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highly recommend

good examples. made a lot of sense. practical. gave me hope I can be a good parent.

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brilliant

such a great self help book for parents. tackles simple & complex parenting scenarios. ive already seen improvement in my relationship with my boys. highly recommend this.

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Life changing is an understatement.

This book is a must read/listen for all parents. I only wish I'd found it earlier. Amazing.

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A valuable resource

I wish I'd read this earlier in my 3yo's life, and will probably do so again several times. Very practical, instantly actionable advice.

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  • Tiffany H
  • 26-02-2019

Some good takeaways but as far left as it gets

I like the emphasis on connection, empathy and level responses, but I wonder if this reaches too far over to permissive and lacking boundaries. the author repeatedly refers to "the research" but rarely says which research or discusses the limits of application or alternate viewpoints. To sum up the book, if you take time to connect and empathize and diffuse opposition or negativity with a few minutes of roughhousing and play, then your kids will cooperate and learn to deal with emotions.

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  • Dragonfly
  • 05-05-2016

Wise words and fantastic narration

Wise words backed up by research and explanations of how to implement these great parenting skills.
Xe Sands Narration is utterly superb! She has a calming voice, whilst at the same time, enthusiastic. I will definitely look out for her in the future.
I know I will listen to this book again. It reminds me of the parent I am aspiring to be and brings me back on track when I am faltering.
I liked the book so much I will buy the print edition as well.

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  • parve
  • 25-02-2015

Great Insight

I loved the action points. I intend to reread (re - listen) to this book until I have internalized the strategies. I also like the fact that they broke down some areas into age groups..easy to relate your current issue. I would have liked the author to include a bit more on teenage kids. Otherwise great book.

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  • TheBearNecessitie
  • 22-01-2016

brilliant

I've read plenty parenting books and websites and Dr laura Markham is the best. plus, having the examples of what to say read aloud was a world apart from reading them on the page. well worth the money for me, I listened to a few hours in one session using by earphones and cleaning the house and I've been a much much less irritable parent since that day

21 people found this helpful

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  • Di
  • 05-06-2015

Love this book. I listen to it over and over.

Would you listen to Calm Parents, Happy Kids again? Why?

Yes, I still do listen to it. Each time I remember a little bit more.

Any additional comments?

The author uses a lot of examples of the things you should say. I think it really helps hearing the reader say them. It seems easier to recall them when I'm talking with my kids than if I had just read them.

23 people found this helpful

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  • ruth
  • 09-05-2016

Indispensable!

I thinks this book should be given free to every parent when their child is born. Everything with practical advises for every day. So logical and yet the majority of parent never realise this simple facts. Love it, 100% recommended! I will buy the book to lend to every parent I know! Amazing!!!!

11 people found this helpful

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  • HartC
  • 08-11-2017

All parents should read it!

Amazing book. All makes perfect sense and is already revolutionising my relationship with my child in the best possible way, bringing us closer and happier.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 20-10-2017

fantastic nariator. great listen. it really helps

fantastic nariator. great listen. it really helps. changed my thinking and so many good lessons. I even listen to the book with my children. the narrator is so calming helped my kids sleep.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Jenny
  • 07-03-2016

Lots of brilliant ways to positively parent

very helpful in addressing lots of different aspects of parenting, not just discipline. I found it a little tricky at first as the reading is quite fast and as it's not read by the author it isn't always put across that well but I am so glad I stuck with it as it has given me lots of invaluable pointers. loved it. Will be listening to this again.

5 people found this helpful

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  • A. Cao
  • 25-05-2018

Good ideas but a bit sanctimonious

I got some very good tips to try - I’ve implemented some nice changes to my parenting style which my kids have responded to positively.

But ultimately a lot of it seemed to just heap on the guilt for parenting in anyway other than being nice and gentle all the time.

Sometimes we yell, sometimes we use a naughty step and sometimes our kids need a firm consequence. It’s all ok if we balance it with love, acceptance and empathy.

There’s a lot of emphasis on “experts agree” and “studies show” but it’s easy to find validation for any argument these days. I found it a bit preachy at times even if it’s well intentioned.

7 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 29-02-2020

A must for all parents!

Common sense but nice to be reminded. Also has some (could have more) practical tips. I saw a big difference in my child straight after I implemented things from the book. I also feel better as a parent. Loved the calm narration, easy listening.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Simon
  • 03-07-2019

Guilt trup

Not quite what I was expecting but as a working parent it seems to point the finger at you for not spending all your time with your child which felt unhelpful.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Amy Irving
  • 10-01-2019

This book made me feel worse!

I downloaded this book as I wanted some help on parenting, as many of us do, but I found it made me feel so incredibly guilty it actually upset me to listen to it. I managed to get 3/4 through before I gave up as I felt like pretty much everything I was doing/have done with my 8 and 5 year old so far has been wrong and I am a terrible parent.

It gave me the impression that if I didn't do exactly as instructed in the book then you are wrong and are damaging your child. I think there are some very valid points and quite helpful advice, but I disliked the lecturing tone and found it quite condescending to be honest.

1 person found this helpful