Struggling with constant sibling fights? Learn how to help siblings get along when one is dysregulated as Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, expert in Regulation First Parenting™, shares practical strategies to calm nervous systems, restore connection, and support every child’s emotional growth.

Feeling stuck in constant sibling fights? You’re not alone. When one child is dysregulated, it can feel like refereeing a never-ending WWE match in your own home. But the good news? This isn’t about bad behavior—it’s about nervous system regulation.

In this episode, I break down why sibling conflict happens, how emotional dysregulation impacts neurotypical siblings, and practical strategies for supporting siblings so the whole family can feel safer, calmer, and more connected.

Why does my child fight more with their sibling than others?

Sibling conflict isn’t just about personality clashes—it’s often a nervous system issue. When one child’s brain is dysregulated, impulse control drops and neutral interactions can feel threatening. This stress spreads across the family, impacting other children and family dynamics.

Key takeaways:

1. Regulate first: Calm the dysregulated child before problem-solving.
2. Name it: Explain, “Your sibling’s brain is having a hard time—it’s not because of you.”
3. Protect siblings: Give safe spaces, predictable attention, and permission to step away.

Parent example: One mom noticed her neurotypical child withdrawing during board games while her dysregulated younger child exploded. Simply creating a calm, structured activity time reduced tension and restored connection.

How can I support my child while still giving attention to their sibling?

It’s tempting to split attention equally, but equity doesn’t mean identical. A struggling child may need tailored support, while other kids still need recognition to avoid resentment.

Tips for practice:

1. Schedule one-on-one time with each child, even 10–15 minutes daily.
2. Use family routines and predictable activities to lower stress for the entire family.
3. Normalize dysregulation: “We all have hard moments—brains get overwhelmed.”

🗣️ “Sibling conflict isn’t about fairness. It’s about felt safety. When one child's nervous system is on fire, everyone else really can be struggling too.” — Dr. Roseann

Quick CALM is a powerful tool for families. It helps kids take deep breaths, regulate emotions, and reset their nervous system before tension escalates.

What strategies actually reduce sibling tension in daily life?

Focusing on regulation rather than punishment changes the game. Instead of forcing apologies or correcting behavior in the moment, lead with calm.

Practical strategies:

1. Regulate first, teach later: One calm response can shift the whole family’s...