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Can You Forgive What You Can't Forget?

Can You Forgive What You Can't Forget?

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We’ve all heard the cliché "forgive and forget." But what happens when the memory doesn't fade? Does that mean you haven't actually forgiven?

In this episode, Nate and Tony challenge the idea that forgiveness requires amnesia. We break down why waiting to "forget" is a trap that leads to bitterness, and why true forgiveness is less about letting someone else off the hook and more about setting yourself free.

We discuss:

  • The Myth of "Forgive and Forget": Why forgiveness is an act of the will, while forgetting is just a biological process.

  • Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation: How to forgive someone without letting them back into your life (and why boundaries are necessary).

  • Memory as a Teacher: How to stop your memories from becoming tormentors.

  • The Prisoner Metaphor: Unpacking the reality that holding a grudge only imprisons you.

  • Nate's Personal Story: Dealing with slander and the daily choice to release the hurt.

If you are stuck waiting for the pain to disappear before you forgive, this episode offers a new way forward.

Quotes from the episode:

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."

"Memory without forgiveness leads to bitterness; forgiveness without memory leads to foolishness."

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