Episode 148 - You Can Get Good at Conflict
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About this listen
Improving your conflict skills isn’t about finding the perfect words—it’s about understanding why conflict feels so hard in the first place. When your body believes that speaking up could cost you connection, of course it freezes, softens, or stays quiet. In this episode, I talk about how our nervous systems learned early on that conflict wasn’t safe, and why that doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. When we slow down and get curious about our conflict response rather than judging it, that’s when real change becomes possible, and you can actually get good at conflict. Here’s what I cover:
- How shifting from “what’s wrong with me?” to “why does this make sense?” helps eliminate the self-criticism spiral
- The early lessons your body learned about conflict, compliance, and staying connected
- How people-pleasing and staying small function as intelligent survival strategies
- The questions I offer to help you look backward and make sense of your conflict response
- How attachment patterns shape what your body expects will happen when conflict threatens connection
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