Zack, Josie, Brad, and Brittany sit down to tackle a question nearly every lifestyle couple has wrestled with: how many dates does it really take to get to a “yes”?

They talk through what it’s like meeting a couple for the first time—those moments when the chemistry is instant and the energy exchange makes the decision easy, and the more complicated scenarios where one partner is a clear “yes” while the other sits in a frustrating gray area of “neutral.” The hosts unpack what “neutral” really means, how to shift out of it with intention, and how to decide whether to move forward—or confidently say no.

The conversation dives deep into the risks of playing when one partner is still neutral. What happens if the experience doesn’t go well? Could it lead to regret, resentment, or hesitation in future situations? They explore how neutral energy can impact not just the couple, but everyone involved in a play dynamic, and why “neutral” often isn’t neutral at all—it’s a need for more information, clarity, or context.

They also challenge the idea that more dates always lead to better outcomes, discussing how too much time or too many vanilla-setting meetups can actually shift desire toward a “no.” The hosts share their frustrations with couples who need multiple dates before making a decision and contrast that with how lifestyle vacations—like the Bliss Cruise—can completely change expectations, timelines, and energy.

If you’ve ever struggled with mismatched interest levels, decision fatigue, or figuring out when to lean in versus walk away, this episode offers honest insight, thoughtful reflection, and plenty of “we’ve been there” moments.

JOIN US in 2026 on the Bliss Cruise in February or at Naughty Nawlins and support our podcast by booking your ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠travel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or purchasing your lifestyle products using our affiliate links. Please do us a favor and visit

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(00:00:00) Too much ‘information’

(00:04:19) Making decisions and finding common ground

(00:10:17) Saying ‘yes’ when one partner is neutral

(00:11:21) Sometimes one partner takes the lead

(00:15:52) Gauging and communicating interest can be challenging

(00:20:46) We are working on being more decisive and communicative

(00:23:59) Determining the time and effort to invest in a couple

(00:30:40) Relationships that stay vanilla too long can become awkward

(00:32:30) Changing the context of a second meeting can be helpful

(00:33:22) Situations where one partner is less interested than the other

(00:36:00) Communicating during a session if one partner is not having fun

(00:38:22) Lifestyle travel may change expectations

(00:40:47) LS travel environments can also act as accelerant

(00:44:13) European lifestyle clubs may inhibit verbal connection

(00:48:44) Where are we at with this couple….really?

(00:53:45) When the Two Plus Two Crew met for the first time

(00:55:46) Shifting out of neutral

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