EP 253.5: When Your Family Doesn't Understand Your ED ~ How to Set Boundaries This Holiday Season cover art

EP 253.5: When Your Family Doesn't Understand Your ED ~ How to Set Boundaries This Holiday Season

EP 253.5: When Your Family Doesn't Understand Your ED ~ How to Set Boundaries This Holiday Season

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 Your family doesn't understand your eating disorder. They make comments about your food. They trigger you at every holiday gathering. You're walking on eggshells, feeling attacked, and wondering if recovery is even possible around them. Girlfriend, this episode is for you. Host Lindsey Nichol shares an incredibly vulnerable moment - her mom called crying after listening to the podcast for the first time, saying "I had no idea what I was doing during your recovery. I just knew I needed to help you." This emotional conversation revealed a profound truth: families don't understand because they're trying to understand while dealing with their own pain. In this powerful episode, Lindsey addresses both sides of the struggle - what to do when your family doesn't understand your eating disorder, AND what loved ones need to know about supporting someone in recovery. Because the truth is, hurt people hurt people. And your family's "attacks" might actually be their way of coping with fear, denial, and their own feelings of helplessness. Whether you're dreading Thanksgiving dinner, anxious about Christmas gatherings, or just trying to survive family events without being triggered - this episode gives you the boundaries, scripts, and strategies you need to protect your recovery while staying connected to the people you love. This is for you if you're struggling. This is for you if you're supporting someone. This is for all of us navigating the complexity of family, recovery, and the holidays. In This Episode, You'll Hear: Lindsey's Mom's Tearful Phone Call Her mom called crying after listening to the podcast for the first time"I had no idea what I was doing through your healing journey""I just knew you were my only child and I wasn't gonna have it"How she educated herself about eating disorders but still felt lost"Most of the time I had no idea what to do next"The growth that's happened over the years in their relationshipWhy this conversation was so powerful and needed The Truth About Family Not Understanding When your family doesn't understand, it can be paralyzingEven though Lindsey's mom didn't understand HOW to support her, she loved herThe message: Love doesn't always know how to show up correctlyThere is so much happening in your mind that family can't seeThe growth that happens over time as you work through recovery together Why This Matters for YOU You don't have to sit in this mess and let it become who you areThis is just a speed bump in your journeyIf you're a parent struggling with what to do next, you don't have to have it all figured outIt's important to get as educated as possible to support your loved oneThe importance of boundaries on BOTH sides during recovery The Reality: Your ED Affects Everyone This illness affects and hurts every person close to youYes, it's isolating, but it echoes to everyone around you like dominoesYou can be in your own feelings thinking it's not harming people, but it isIf you don't have energy, you're snapping at your kidsIf you aren't nourishing yourself, you're not giving your best to othersYou may be triggered by family comments, but they're dealing with their own emotions too Why Your Family Seems Unsupportive Everyone in your life has their own way of coping with what you're struggling withIf you're resisting recovery, your family might be resisting change tooThey may seem unsupportive or attacking, but this is THEIR way of handling and copingLindsey's mom was terrified and avoiding judgment from othersShe told NO ONE - not even immediate familyShe took it on as self-blame: "What did I do wrong as a parent?"Your illness is NOT isolated - it's impacting everyone, even if it feels isolating to you The Walking on Eggshells Reality Lindsey's mom felt like she was walking on eggshellsShe never knew if she'd trigger Lindsey or push her in the opposite directionShe never knew what mood Lindsey was in or what she'd eaten lastWhen she asked questions, it was to gain understandingBut Lindsey couldn't give that understanding because she was trying to figure it out herselfThere was positive intent 9 times out of 10Even anger or denial often comes from positive intent The Phases of Denial Lindsey was in denial of the disorderHer mom was ALSO in denial that this could happen to her childHer mom was angry - all those feelings were valid and realBeing in denial works in many ways on both sidesYou might not feel "sick enough" but that's not the pointEven loved ones go through phases of denial before they can help Hurt People Hurt People This is how pain gets passed on generation after generationLindsey doesn't want you to just break chains of EDShe wants you to break chains FOR your loved ones and yourselfMeet anger with kindness and understandingBe compassionate while honoring your pathThis is hard because we want to be left alone in the disorder Boundaries & Strategies You Can Set: Strategy #1: Use Your Voice Brené Brown says: "When we are busy pleasing and perfecting and ...
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