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Attached

Are You Anxious, Avoidant or Secure? How the Science of Adult Attachment Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love
Narrated by: Robert Petkoff
Length: 7 hrs and 6 mins
4.7 out of 5 stars (65 ratings)

Non-member price: $15.19

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Publisher's Summary

An insightful look at the science behind love, Attached offers listeners a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections.

Is there a science to love? In this groundbreaking audiobook, Psychiatrist and Neuroscientist Amir Levine and Psychologist Rachel S. F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory - the most advanced relationship science in existence today - can help us find and sustain love.

Pioneered by Psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment explains that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:

  • Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back.
  • Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.
  • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.

With fascinating psychological insight, quizzes and case studies, Dr Amir Levine and Rachel Heller help you understand the three attachment styles, identify your own and recognize the styles of others so that you can find compatible partners or improve your existing relationship.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your Library section along with the audio on our Desktop Site.

©2010 Amir Levine and Rachel Heller (P)2010 Penguin Random House LLC

Critic Reviews

"A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship." (John Gray, PhD., best-selling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus)

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READ SOMETHING THAT WILL HELP YOU

This book is correct in diagnosis, but wrong, in its advice to find your perfect partner, just as you are. Either ignorant or kind to say we are good-enough as we are. The strategies are state Self-less love, in an overly complex way. To consider the effect of our words, choices that effect Others is reverse engineering. Start with loving intention for the greater good, seek possibilities thru a lenz of Self-Less Love, and perceive and co-resourcefully create and act in pursuit of our highest good. Be present, appreciative and grateful for your life and to share life with the Other, for whom, you should have unconditional positive regard. Negative, selfish thought ends life. it is not a state of growth. It is martyrdom, taking as many down with you. All of our programming can be addressed, insightfully. DIY at that. If you need to an objective ear ask a few therapists. They are trained to keep their personal bias out of the issues. At the end of the day ... our purpose is BE the One, not find the One. BEcome our best Self, to beget the love of Others. BE the light and you shall receive accordingly. Ghandi, Martin Luther King, G Jung, Alan Watts, Buddhah and of course our most renowned earthly sovereign, JC. All of us should be working towards personal development. Not ignore the weeds in our own backyard. Or, accept they are there. The cure to our pain is to integrate our fragmented child SELF within, who speaks with anger, judgement, and critisisms generations old. The voice in our mind. Who WE are, our Spiritual, immortality, is our Soul, our mind's witness to the voices of the child. Our reptilian Amagydalan. Accepting our Scrooge programming is with absence of malice, integrity, accountability and empathy for Our Self, in need of acceptance by us. What could be more wonderful then to learn what you need, heal it, and to recognise and give the Other what they need. If you don't bother to do any personal development, you might unknowingly cause the very harm to another, that was caused you. Mirroring. That which you think of another, is TRUE of our Self. G Jung, Those who endeavour to come to terms with themselves must reckon with this BASIC problem. For to the degree we deny the Other, we deny the Other within Ourselves the right to exist. Spiritually Scientific Psychotherapy G Jung, G Maté, M Epstein, G Hendricks, Abraham Hicks, Pema Chodron, ACIM, G Chapman and more, will show you the spiritual approach to DIY heal your Child-Self and - create everything in your life, your way. A new, compassionate, empathic and better you. Your True Self. Not an image. Six months tops!! You can BE archetype on the outside, not a mask, covering your TRUE Self. The disempowered, underdeveloped, neglected child. Love and peace is present within our Self, in every moment. Get busy! - Coping with diagnosis is not a cure. For becoming ever wiser, tolerant and kinder IS appropriate to ever changing life for as long as we live. Best wishes

2 people found this helpful

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Game changer

The simplest, most practical guide to navigating the complexity I've relationships I've ever read. 10/10 recommend.

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For everyone dating or in a relationship

Incredible info about why you behave in particular ways in relationships and learn and understand your partner or potential partner. Gives you practical tools to use. You will listen more than once!

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Life changing

I wish I read this years ago. I’d already started formulating similar thoughts re: me and my relationships, I finished the book yesterday and I’m already seeing the benefits

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  • MW
  • 16-09-2020

great read. more diversity needed in relationships

I loved this book. It would be great to have more diversity demonstrated in the relationship examples though (they were all heterosexual examples).

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Worth the listen - applicable to all relationships, not just romantic ones

A great relationship tool I have encouraged all of my friends to have a listen

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Fantastic! Has the potential to change your life!

Once I had begun this book, it was very difficult to stop. So many "a-ha!" moments and clues to self-understanding. Brilliant for your emotional well-being and understanding of self and the workings of current, past and even future partnerships. Attachment Theory is fascinating in any case, but this is presented in a really clear and concise way. The first couple of chapters are a little irritating in that they contain a lot of lists being read out (included with the book purchase), but after that, the book comes into its own. Anyone who enjoyed Dr Susan Johnston's "Hold Me Tight" or "Love Sense" should enjoy this (or else start here and move onto those...). I'm sure I will listen to this again.

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Simple but Valuable Listen

This book was easy to follow and make a lot of sense. I wish I had it twenty years ago! Must read / listen for anyone who struggles in there relationship(s).

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  • Anonymous User
  • 27-08-2020

Incredible!!!

If only we learnt this stuff at a school... and if only id got my hands on this sooner! WOW! Don’t hesitate, snag it! ;)

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  • Anonymous User
  • 29-09-2020

great book

great book, opened my eyes. i'm an avoidant and anxious person and I really need this. thank you

1 person found this helpful

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  • Shaun Solomon
  • 13-07-2020

Excellent book! Compulsory reading!

Very well laid out and concepts explained clearly. I am a massive avoider and this has helped me a great deal in understanding how I can be a much better partner and become my true authentic self.

1 person found this helpful

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  • *Sophie*
  • 14-10-2020

Must read for relationships

Really informative and explains relationships and attachments in a way that's easily understandable and accessible.

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  • Miss L Inglima
  • 20-09-2020

highly recommend

Really helpful and insightful. Helps to understand the unconscious behaviours that occur in our close relationships. The narrator is very clear and engaging.

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  • ilaria s.
  • 12-09-2020

very interesting book

this book is very easy to follow .i found this book interesting and useful.

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  • Miss EG Howlett
  • 19-08-2020

Excellent, clear and informative

Fantastic book. Gave me a great insight into the different attachment styles and good examples too. Recommend it.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 03-08-2020

having problems in relationship? listen to this!

Wondering why I have the same problems in relationships time and again. This book has helped me understand, in a loving compassionate way, where I keep going wrong and how to improve my likelhood of being in and maintaining a loving, committed relationship.

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  • Angie
  • 30-07-2020

Recommended by YouTube dating coach

This was recommended by Johnathan Aslay. I'm glad I bought it. Will undoubtedly be useful as I continue my online dating!

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  • Lottie
  • 20-07-2020

Game changer

I wish I had found this book years ago. It’s altered my thinking profoundly. Buy it now!

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  • Bettina
  • 16-07-2020

Super interesting

I wish I had read this years ago. I would have saved so much money on therapy.