Try free for 30 days

  • Attached

  • Are You Anxious, Avoidant or Secure? How the Science of Adult Attachment Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love
  • By: Amir Levine, Rachel Heller
  • Narrated by: Robert Petkoff
  • Length: 7 hrs and 6 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (724 ratings)

1 credit a month to use on any title, yours to keep (you’ll use your first credit on this title).
Stream or download thousands of included titles.
Access to exclusive deals and discounts.
$16.45 a month after 30 day trial. Cancel anytime.
Attached cover art

Attached

By: Amir Levine, Rachel Heller
Narrated by: Robert Petkoff
Try for $0.00

$16.45 per month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for $19.75

Buy Now for $19.75

Pay using voucher balance (if applicable) then card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions Of Use and Privacy Notice and authorise Audible to charge your designated credit card or another available credit card on file.

Editorial reviews

Want to build stronger relationships and connections or find a more compatible partner? Attached examines the science behind love, resulting in a title that is equal parts fascinating, insightful, and life-changing.

Together, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S. F. Heller reveal how an understanding of science — specifically, attachment theory — can help us find and sustain love. The theory focuses on the importance of the early child-parent bond to a person’s social and emotional development. In Attached, you’ll learn how to apply this theory to improve your romantic relationships.

Attached offers psychological insights, quizzes and case studies to guide listeners in understanding their own attachment style and the attachment styles of significant others. This audiobook will leave you equipped to build stronger and more fulfilling connections.

Narrated by Robert Petkoff, Attached enables listeners to become fully immersed and emotionally invested in the material. With more than 100 audiobooks to his credit, Petkoff speaks in a clear and well-paced manner that’s also personable and reassuring.

Publisher's Summary

An insightful look at the science behind love, Attached offers listeners a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections.

Is there a science to love? In this groundbreaking audiobook, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S. F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory – the most advanced relationship science in existence today – can help us find and sustain love.

Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment explains that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:

Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back.

Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.

Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.

With fascinating psychological insight, quizzes and case studies, Dr Amir Levine and Rachel Heller help you understand the three attachment styles, identify your own and recognize the styles of others so that you can find compatible partners or improve your existing relationship.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2010 Amir Levine and Rachel Heller (P)2010 Penguin Random House LLC

Critic Reviews

"A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship." (John Gray, PhD., best-selling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus)

More from the same

Narrator

What listeners say about Attached

Average Customer Ratings
Overall
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    618
  • 4 Stars
    71
  • 3 Stars
    24
  • 2 Stars
    4
  • 1 Stars
    7
Performance
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    475
  • 4 Stars
    59
  • 3 Stars
    24
  • 2 Stars
    5
  • 1 Stars
    3
Story
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    475
  • 4 Stars
    60
  • 3 Stars
    18
  • 2 Stars
    9
  • 1 Stars
    3

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

READ SOMETHING THAT WILL HELP YOU

This book is correct in diagnosis, but wrong, in its advice to find your perfect partner, just as you are.
Either ignorant or kind to say we are good-enough as we are. The strategies are state Self-less love, in an overly complex way. To consider the effect of our words, choices that effect Others is reverse engineering.
Start with loving intention for the greater good, seek possibilities thru a lenz of Self-Less Love, and perceive and co-resourcefully create and act in pursuit of our highest good. Be present, appreciative and grateful for your life and to share life with the Other, for whom, you should have unconditional positive regard.
Negative, selfish thought ends life. it is not a state of growth. It is martyrdom, taking as many down with you. All of our programming can be addressed, insightfully. DIY at that.

If you need to an objective ear ask a few therapists. They are trained to keep their personal bias out of the issues.

At the end of the day ... our purpose is
BE the One, not find the One.
BEcome our best Self, to beget the love of Others. BE the light and you shall receive accordingly. Ghandi, Martin Luther King, G Jung, Alan Watts, Buddhah and of course our most renowned earthly sovereign, JC.

All of us should be working towards personal development.
Not ignore the weeds in our own backyard. Or, accept they are there.

The cure to our pain is to integrate our fragmented child SELF within, who speaks with anger, judgement, and critisisms generations old.
The voice in our mind.
Who WE are, our Spiritual, immortality, is our Soul, our mind's witness to the voices of the child. Our reptilian Amagydalan.

Accepting our Scrooge programming is with absence of malice, integrity, accountability and empathy for Our Self, in need of acceptance by us.

What could be more wonderful then to learn what you need, heal it, and to recognise and give the Other what they need. If you don't bother to do any personal development, you might unknowingly cause the very harm to another, that was caused you. Mirroring. That which you think of another, is TRUE of our Self.

G Jung,
Those who endeavour to come to terms with themselves must reckon with this BASIC problem. For to the degree we deny the Other, we deny the Other within Ourselves the right to exist.

Spiritually Scientific Psychotherapy

G Jung, G Maté, M Epstein, G Hendricks, Abraham Hicks, Pema Chodron, ACIM, G Chapman and more, will show you the spiritual approach to DIY heal your Child-Self and - create everything in your life, your way. A new, compassionate, empathic and better you. Your True Self. Not an image. Six months tops!!
You can BE archetype on the outside, not a mask, covering your TRUE Self.
The disempowered, underdeveloped, neglected child.

Love and peace is present within our Self, in every moment.

Get busy! - Coping with diagnosis is not a cure.

For becoming ever wiser, tolerant and kinder IS appropriate to ever changing life for as long as we live.
Best wishes

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

13 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Accompanying PDF incomplete

Good book overall, however the PDF document doesn’t include the relationship inventory example answers to put in the provided table. When listening to the book, the narrator states that these examples are provided below the relationship inventory table however audible hasn’t included this. It makes it a lot more difficult to complete the exercise.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

5 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Really helped me

I want to say this book changed my life, and I'm not exaggerating at all. I feel I'm equipped knowledge and tools to treat myself kinder and manage my relationships better.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Incredible, a must read for anyone

Eye opening, empowering, educational and extremely beneficial. Not only did I learn things about myself, understand my own patterns and behaviours - as well as partners, I also feel more confident and just learning the rationale to my emotions and behaviours, I feel I in many ways have become more of the stable attachment style.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

should be thought on schools

we need to be aware of why we behave in a certain way so we can be in control, instead of moved by our unconscious fears and emotions that get triggered by others or by our own attachment style.

So if we understand the traits of people with secure attachment style we might be able to recognize those people who will match our needs...have a better chance to loving and healthy relationship.
Good news, 50% of population has a secure attachment style.
We just don't consider them because we think they are boring.

Our "love feelings" are triggered by our wrong perception that intensity is love. Our brain is easily fooled.

The book won't "save" us but give a good idea of why and what to do. Goes a little against all other self growth books I read, which is a little confusing. But the truth can never be in one book only.
The main ideas can be useful, then the trick is to adapt it all to yourself.
Books are like a mirror, sometimes it shows things you can't see... just a different prospective.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Thought provoking, but...

It's explained in a very simplistic way: "3 attachment styles", where I think there might be more to it. Diving into the different styles, it echoes the sentiment that no matter what you are, you want to aim to have a secure attachment style. "So if you're not secure yet, change it."
I think I have a secure style and have recently been involved with an avoidant. I knew he was avoidant even before starting this book. Perhaps I was just hoping to gain more wisdom into how to work around it, but I didn't get it.
The book itself wasn't thrilling all the time, so I listened to it while doing things that doesn't require full attention on one thing. Pleasant narration (I always listen on at least 1.2x speed). Conclusion : I'd recommend it for understanding purposes, but don't expect to walk away having all your questions answered about attachment.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

8/10 Surprisingly would recommend

Wasn’t expecting something groundbreaking but my wife read it and encouraged me to read. Was surprised and my how much I got out of the book. Attachment styles can be complex but the authors wrote in a way I found simple and engaging to follow. Would recommend to anyone who wants to learn more about relationship dynamics whether you are single, dating or married.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Great book with practical support

This is a great resource for anyone wanting to learn how they interact with their partners and possibly in life in general for good and bad. I have learnt some practical lessons and hard truth 's about my own and others attachment style. I hope to move to more of a secure attachment style and seek that in my relationships moving forward. I highly recommend this book.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

great actionable insight

read well, lots of case study examples. little tricky to follow some parts as audio version and had hoped pdf had a summary of the results but it doesn't

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Fantastic book - wish I had it sooner

Great book you are able you worked though and see relationships as they are and effective ways to manage

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

In the spirit of reconciliation, Audible acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.