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Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
Length: 6 hrs and 50 mins
4.8 out of 5 stars (109 ratings)

Non-member price: $35.87

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Publisher's Summary

In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents' emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you'll learn how to create positive new relationships so you can build a better life.

©2015 Lindsay C. Gibson (P)2016 Tantor

Critic Reviews

"Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD, gives practical insight into a prevalent problem.... The book is impeccably clear.... This utter lack of confusion makes the book quite soothing, despite the heavy subject." ( Foreword Magazine)

What listeners say about Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

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Enlightenment

😍😍😍 Highly recommend for self development, parenting, love life and friendship (relationships in general).
Thank-you for the recommendation Audible!! Thank-you Lindsay Gibson PsyD.!!! Sincerely and with all heart I Thank-you.

4 people found this helpful

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Very enlightening

A very empowering book clearly written. It should be a must read for everyone embarking on parenthood. We really need to be aware of our impact on future generations.

3 people found this helpful

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Very helpful

This is an incredibly helpful book for anyone trying to heal from childhood trauma. It was painful and confronting at times but also a relief to identify patterns of behaviour in my parents and hear how this has affected me. The author gives you strategies to deal with your parents and how to identify healthy emotional people to build better intimate relationships. The narrator is terrific.

1 person found this helpful

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Very insightful book & helpful tips provided

This book was very insightful and helpful to me. The exercises aren’t provided as a download in audible but you can get them from the website referred to. The last chapter is great for key points on how to move forward in relationships and interactions.

1 person found this helpful

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Very helpful, no matter how old you are

My partner and I listened to this book to understand ourselves better and strengthen our relationship.

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great and informative, but disregards one thing

really great book with a lot of useful information and helpful exercises. but it disregards those that have aspects of the emotional immaturity within themselves, implying that those people who are emotionally immature cannot change. I don't agree with this. it presents people as either emotionally immature or not, while I'd say that it's more of a continuum.

1 person found this helpful

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Eye opening

I feel like finally I have the answers I've been seaching for after reading this book. I understand now why some people don't think like I do and I can let go of the 'why' I can now work on dealing with these people but most importantly, I can work on my own happiness and real self with the tools given in this book. Thank you so much!

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Not a book that places blame

This was a recommended book for a book club Im in and I was hesitant to read it because I had a loving childhood, but still struggle with anxiety, loss of direction and emotional overwhelm. I found this book to be an incredible support for self compassion and better understanding of the relationships in my life. I ended this book with a feeling of lightness for a topic that felt so heavy before.

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Amazing listen

This book was very insightful. There were tears, realisations, and a level of comfort given with tools I was able to use to move forward. Most helpful book I’ve read in years.

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Mainstream psychology theory.

Mostly mainstream psychology theory. Narrator sounds like a clinical robot & was difficult to listen to. I found the information largely stereotypical, pigeon holing & generally unhelpful. Nothing new or profound here.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Sunflower Mind + Body
  • 20-07-2016

Astonishing information.

It seem that my whole life I was searching for the information in this book. I came upon this book by strange chance, and I'm so pleased to have found it. Thank you audible for having us in your library this book has shown me so much about myself and my family structure. I absolutely recommend it, not only to those who feel that they might have emotionally immature parents, but also for those people who feel that their own partner might be suffering from emotionally immature parents. Performance only gets 3 stars because the narrator seemed to inconsistently flip-flop between the "character voice" to a regular reading voice when it came to the case studies, or examples from clients.

31 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 08-08-2016

Fantastic and applicable

As an adult child of someone with two emotionally immature parents (unbeknownst to me until I found this book), I have never felt more understood in my life. This book scientifically and research-based explained my experiences and who my parents are/why I have habits that I do. It has served to help me manage my parent relationships in a way that protects me from emotional and psychological hurt while also helping me to realize areas I need to improve in because of poor habits I have learned/used. I couldn't recommend this book more highly.

25 people found this helpful

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  • Michael
  • 16-11-2016

Excellent

Concise, honorable, nonjudgmental presentation of emotional immaturity. Easy to identify with descriptions of how that effects relationships. Sound advice and encouragement on acting more emotionally mature.

15 people found this helpful

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  • Shree
  • 29-09-2016

Explanation on why and practical advice on how to handle

This book was truly life changing in discovering not only why but how and what to do regarding growing up with emotionally immature parents. I plan to re-read it again to fully absorb it all. I especially liked the examples provided as most all were relatable.

The narrator was borderline unbearable and were it literally any other audiobook I would have promptly returned it. She sounded like she was teaching 1st graders, tone was off. I hope this is not her day job.

24 people found this helpful

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  • Jessica
  • 22-03-2017

highly recommended

I will be referencing this book while working on the issues it discusses- I found it extremely insightful, detailed, and easy to follow. I really disliked the narrator's style of speaking, but found the book so helpful I was able to overlook that easily. It is well worth listening to.

11 people found this helpful

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  • Zane
  • 06-09-2016

Wow enlightenment achieved ❤️

No counseling I've had in the past has ever pinpointed my constant struggle w inadequacy until this book. Thank you to all the experts who have taught me to awaken and give myself permission to a new beginning.. And understanding the importance of observational awareness to break the cycle for my 1 year old daughter.. She thanks you too

11 people found this helpful

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  • Rena
  • 27-11-2016

informative, but repetitive

I found this book extremely helpful both personally and professionally. it was, however, somewhat repetitive and the reader sounded stilted. If you can get past that, this book will be an excellent resource.

9 people found this helpful

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  • D. Villalpando
  • 11-10-2016

Emotional maturity is a topic worthy of study

If you could sum up Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents in three words, what would they be?

Helpful and informative

What did you like best about this story?

I like that the text was able to both discuss the effect of a lack of emotional maturity of parents on their grown children as well as discussing emotional maturity in general. I didn't feel that I was getting only a look at "this is what happened to these adults" but rather a continuum of the effects of emotional immaturity in all stages, including the ability to reflect on my own life and emotional maturity as a parent and how it may affect my children.

What does Marguerite Gavin bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

The narration was well delivered and kept me interested. I'm a slow reader, and so I expect it would have taken me much longer to get through a print version, but Ms. Gavin kept the text moving along and always kept me interested.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

Not based on the book

Any additional comments?

All in all, I was very pleased with the book as a study of emotional maturity at all levels. It was very helpful and gave me a good understanding of the subject, and made me want to learn more, not to mention find ways to mature emotionally. It also did help to a great degree regarding digging into the past and finding the roots of why we act the way we do.

20 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 04-06-2016

Life-changing

What made the experience of listening to Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents the most enjoyable?

This book completely revolutionized my life. These concepts of emotionally immature people vs. emotionally mature people, and internalizers vs. externalizers, etc., explain so very much about my existence and the family dynamic I've experienced. It helped to clear up most of the confusion I had regarding my driven parents, and answered questions I didn't even know how to articulate. It truly brought so much healing into my soul, I couldn't get enough of it. I will definitely keep listening to this over and over again, especially when I need the reassurance, clarity, guidance and encouragement that I may never receive from my family. I wish I could hug the author and adopt her as a mentor. What a deep, insightful, and caring individual Dr. Gibson must be, to have written this book. What a blessing. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?


SO many A-Ha moments, I am still trying to process it all.

27 people found this helpful

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  • ChiDoc
  • 12-10-2016

Inspiring & Realistically Relevant

Dr. Gibson has done a superb job capturing the subtle nuances of men and women sadly impacted by emotionally unavailable parents. Her descriptions are spot-on and parallel my clinical experiences. She provides not only a clearly articulated understanding of the impact neglected parental patterns can have on adult-children but a hopeful and attainable message rooted in neuroscience that change is possible. Bravo! - Ken Celiano, Psy.D.

12 people found this helpful

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  • Bo
  • 29-08-2017

Game changer

Any additional comments?

I've struggled with feeling rejected in my family for decades. I spent a long time thinking it was my fault and felt powerless to change things.
This book is simple and profound. It's given me a clear lense through which to understand that my parents were in many ways immature and our whole family dynamic was highly akward and inappropriate. This book has helped me feel less at fault and more empowered to move on in healthy ways.
Highly recommended.

16 people found this helpful

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  • Nicholas
  • 11-05-2017

Very good.

I was impressed with with this book - it really is helpful in developing an insightful understanding of how our parents behaviour can mishape ourselves. It's not a cure but it's another step on the road of ever increase knowledge.

12 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 26-06-2019

Game changer in my healing and recovering of me!

I know more of who I am and why I have these needs that I have never had met, they are a deep yearning from my lack of emotional support and trauma. I now feel I have all the tools in my toolbox to actually start living my life!!! I am so glad I took the choice of self awareness. I can now create a 2nd life. Don't hesitate in getting this book. I listened to a chapter at a time so that I could integrate and reflect on my own personal feelings. edit the last three chapters one after the other because I was completely hooked it felt like I was shedding years of unnecessary fears and unconscious self imposed restrictions.

8 people found this helpful

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  • Clodagh
  • 18-09-2019

Great content.. Very relatable

As above. But I had to turn it off a few times as if she said the word emotional one more time, I'd become emotional. I know there's a clue in the title, but an ould thesaurus wouldn't have been too difficult to locate and navigate

5 people found this helpful

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  • Many
  • 29-04-2019

Life changing

Excellent book! Great performance too! Highly recommend to everyone. Would love to hand out copies randomly on the street to reach as many people as possible.

5 people found this helpful

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  • C. Rae
  • 21-04-2019

Insightful book well worth your time.

Very insightful listen for anyone who has come through the trauma of being at the wrong end of emotionally immature or unstable people, not just parents or parental figures. It also helps hold a mirror to help you see and understand the patterns of your own behaviours, and needs. Finally helping you to recognise how to break out of the old and find new fulfilling and nurturing relationships to grow into.

5 people found this helpful

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  • Dorota Kotowicz
  • 19-03-2017

Great tool for self discovery

A great read for understanding yourself and others wrote with compassion and without judgement. I recommend it!

4 people found this helpful

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  • Rajan
  • 24-02-2019

Superb!

Speechless! The book has said it all. ;-) Very congruent 'audible' narration: voice and tone suits the content extremely well. Highly recommended. If it lands for you, it will land firmly, and with lasting impact.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Kate
  • 25-10-2019

Fantastic and insightful.

Helped me deal with the deep-set old trauma that was holding me back I will be listening again and again and again to remind myself of my worth, and the wonderfully possibilities life holds when you begin to heal

2 people found this helpful

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  • Abbi A.G
  • 24-07-2019

Takes you on superb emotional journey

Be ready to feel so many mixed emotions. Sadness, anger, and somehow a huge sense of relieve. Sunday it all makes sense. I felt as if I was listening to my wise great friend who understands my pain. If aren’t sure about getting this book, I can’t recommend it highly enough. Enjoy the journey of meeting the real you soon.

2 people found this helpful