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A Well-Trained Wife

My Escape from Christian Patriarchy

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A Well-Trained Wife

By: Tia Levings
Narrated by: Tia Levings
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About this listen

This gripping audiobook is a strong choice alongside books about high-demand religion, overcoming odds, and finding inner strength in impossible situations."—Booklist (Starred Review)

This program is read by the author.

“Today it hit me when he hit me, blood shaking in my brain. Maybe there wasn’t a savior coming. Maybe it was up to me to save me.”


Recruited into the fundamentalist Quiverfull movement as a young wife, Tia Levings learned that being a good Christian meant following a list of additional life principles––a series of secret, special rules to obey. Being a godly and submissive wife in Christian Patriarchy included strict discipline, isolation, and an alternative lifestyle that appeared wholesome to outsiders. Women were to be silent, “keepers of the home.”

Tia knew that to their neighbors her family was strange, but she also couldn't risk exposing their secret lifestyle to police, doctors, teachers, or anyone outside of their church. Christians were called in scripture to be “in the world, not of it.” So, she hid in plain sight as years of abuse and pain followed. When Tia realized she was the only one who could protect her children from becoming the next generation of patriarchal men and submissive women, she began to resist and question how they lived. But in the patriarchy, a woman with opinions is in danger, and eventually, Tia faced an urgent and extreme choice: stay and face dire consequences, or flee with her children.

Told in a beautiful, honest, and sometimes harrowing voice, A Well-Trained Wife is an unforgettable and timely memoir about a woman's race to save herself and her family and details the ways that extreme views can manifest in a marriage.

A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press.

Editors Select Religious Studies Women Marriage

Editorial Review

As personal as it gets
I devoured this deeply intimate, harrowing memoir over the course of three days, resenting any interruption that forced me to hit pause. With unfiltered detail and raw emotion, Tia Levings tells her story of growing up in a fundamentalist religion, how her upbringing ushered her into a high-control, patriarchal marriage, and her journey toward reclaiming her identity and voice. Throughout, Levings writes of her passion for art and writing (an inclination that women in her position must stifle) and how finding an outlet in the earliest days of parenting blogging and online forums both scratched that itch and broadened her world. That nurturing of her talent shows in the strength of her voice, both in her written words and in her wholehearted performance. It is not only gripping, but deeply introspective and observant – a daring call-to-action.— Sam D., Audible Editor

All stars
Most relevant
I first came across Tia’s story from a podcast interview she did on Mamamia. Her story is incredibly powerful and delves into the dark side of Christianity - where religion is used to control women and perpetuate a harmful culture of patriarchy. Her narration brought the realness of her story to a whole new level and I thoroughly binged the audiobook within a matter of days. This is a great book for anyone, religious or not.

Riveting and powerful read

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Tia I’m sorry for it all!! I am a similar age to you and was given some of the books you talked about. How far can Christian’s stray from LOVE,
Sending you love as you move forward.
This is a must read , you just can’t stop listening!!!

Best book ever!

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An incredible story of power, trauma and resilience, and the true meaning of love. I feel changed after this book.

Horrifying, heartbreaking & inspiring. A must read.

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Such a beautifully written story about religious trauma and the damage organised fundamentalist faith has done in the lives of so many.

Honestly heartbreaking

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We need to hear how hierarchical and patriarchal teaching in the church h are harmful to women, but also to men and children. Thanks Tia.

Honest and vulnerable story which needs talking about.

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