A Fashionably Dead Christmas

Vampyres don't exist. They absolutely do not exist. At least I didn't think they did 'til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead? Now I'm a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren't bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite, and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe.

Released from the magic pokey and paroled with limited power is enough to make any witch grumpy. However, if you throw in a recently resurrected cat, a lime-green Kia, and a sexy egotistical werewolf, it's enough to make a gal fly off the edge. Not to mention a mission...with no freaking directions. So here I sit in Asscrack, West Virginia, trying to figure out how to complete my mysterious mission before All Hallows Eve when I'll get turned into a mortal.

I was a top-notch Were agent for the secret paranormal Council and happily living in Chicago, where I had everything I needed - a gym membership, season tickets to the Cubs, and Dwayne - my gay Vampyre best friend. Going back now would mean facing the reason I'd left, and I'd rather chew my own paw off than deal with Hank. Hank the Tank Wilson was the six-foot-three, obnoxious, egotistical, perfect-assed, best-sex-of-my-life Werewolf who cheated on me and broke my heart.

What happens when an accountant decides to grab life by the horns and try something new? Apparently a pirate named Dave, a lot of pastel fleece, and blackmail - just to start with. Visualize and succeed, Oprah said. I was sure as hell trying, even if my campaign to score a job as the local weather girl had ended in a restraining order. Okay, TV was not my strength. But a lack of talent has never stopped me before. Which is why I've embarked on a writing career. I mean, how hard can it be to come up with a sexy romance?

What in the Chicken of the Sea was I thinking to agree to this half-arsed Otherworld Defense Agency mission? I’m the most absurdly good looking vampire pirate of the High Seas. Defending mermaids from some vicious sea hags is going to cut into my pilfering time. Unacceptable. Even though this is a very bad move on my part, I know I’ll eventually agree - too many bounties on my arse to refuse, and the thought of a certain mermaid makes my roger quite jolly. However, Tallulah, the leader of the Mystical Isle Pod of Mermaids, isn’t going to be happy to see me…at all. 

She’s a witch who carries a family curse, destined to never get her happily ever after. Felicia Patterson has come to terms with the fact that she’ll never get to be with her one true love. But when the sexiest vampire she’s ever seen walks onto Witch Island, she can’t help her fluttering heart. He’s a vampire who’s been burned before, destined to never love again. Christoph Parks has sworn off relationships. In the century that he’s walked the earth, he’s only known heartbreak and disappointment. But one smile from the island’s sassy florist has his icy heart melting.

Jayne Frost is a winter elf, Jack Frost's daughter, Santa Claus's niece, heir to the Winter Throne, and now private investigator. Needing someone he can trust, her father sends her to Nocturne Falls to find out why employees at a toy store are going missing. Doing that requires getting to know the town, which leads to interesting encounters with a sexy vampire, an old flame, and an elevator that's strictly off-limits. The more Jayne finds out, the more questions she has, but the answers lead her deeper into danger.

Meteorologist Zoe Parker put Everlasting in her rearview mirror as soon as she had her college degree in hand. But when Sapphire, her eccentric great-aunt, takes a tumble down the stairs in her lighthouse home, Zoe returns to the tiny fishing hamlet to look after her. Zoe has barely crossed the county line when strange things start happening with the weather, and she discovers Sapphire's fall was no accident. Someone is searching the lighthouse, but Sapphire has no idea what they're looking for.

Welcome to Eternal Springs, home to more than a 1,000 “normal” people and four feisty witches. Just a tip, the witches are more fun. Especially Skye Thornton, an air witch about town who would rather be on the mainland than a touristy island that’s home to four climate zones and a gaping hole under the local school that allows monsters to creep through and wreak havoc on the community. A reporter, Skye likes to be in the thick of things - she’s a busybody and proud of it - until she quite literally trips over a dead body at the island resort. 

When out-of-work graphic designer Verity Long accidentally traps a ghost on her property, she's saddled with more than a supernatural sidekick - she gains the ability to see spirits. It leads to an offer she can't refuse from the town's bad boy, the brother of her ex and the last man she should ever partner with. Ellis Wyatt is in possession of a stunning historic property haunted by some of Sugarland, Tennessee's finest former citizens.